recently two different u.s companies
moderna and pfizer
announced they've developed an effective
vaccine for covet 19.
now of course there's already a lot of
competing information
out there about the vaccines and people
have a lot of questions
namely which vaccine is more effective
andy everyone wants to know which is the
better of the two vaccines
we gotta know we gotta know which one's
safer how much will each cost
well i decided to talk with
representatives from both companies
to clear up people's questions right now
we have
dan evans from pfizer and tom cleghorn
from moderna thanks for being here guys
thanks for having me conan yes and thank
you also for having me to talk about
pfizer's
superior vaccine okay well that's
exactly what we want to talk about
your company originally said your
vaccine was 90 percent effective
but after modernis 94.5
effective vaccine data came out suddenly
your vaccine changed to 95
effective it did it just went up 0.5
more effective than modernism actually
actually we at moderna have a special
announcement
uh recent tests have shown that our
vaccine is actually
96.8 effective
wait so now that pfizer's vaccine is 95
effective modernis is 96.8
effective yeah well actually our even
more recent tests are now showing that
our vaccine is 98.2
effective so that's that's just oh well
well i just got a text
super recent test moderna vaccine 99.999
percent effective
fire emoji thumbs up emoji boom
wow i guess that's pretty much now the
most effective covid19 vaccine that one
could make
well i guess for cobot 19 yes but but
our vaccine is also backwards compatible
against covid's four through 18. so
factor that
that is that is impressive our vaccine
is actually effective against
other diseases like trapezoid flu
what yeah wha what's the trapezoid flu
you'll find out okay well conan
our vaccine will give you the ability
get this to dunk a basketball
oh wow our vaccine gives you perfect
night vision
oh yeah well does your vaccine come in
strawberry flavor
no but it does come with sides like
sweet potato fries and a small caesar
salad
our vaccine can improve your credit
score our vaccine can improve your
relationship with your father
okay guys guys come on this can't all be
true
it's all true conan see modernize an
honest company who can actually
guarantee their vaccine doesn't contain
government tracking microchips oh whoa
whoa ours doesn't either
why'd you bring it up then defensive
much
you know you were such a dick i've hated
you ever since we met in vaccine school
yeah your wife likes our vaccine better
you tom meet you guys guys
guys it's getting very personal now i
had you on to talk about your vaccines
if we're talking about vaccines let's
not forget that
russian vaccine was first to hit the
market
sorry who are you and how did you get
this zoom link
i am a respectable russian doctor type
human and zoom link is available on dark
web
okay all right well now that you're here
how does uh russia's vaccine work
oh it's simple russian vaccine simply
pushes corona virus out of hotel window
as part of government cover-up also
russian vaccine is 90
vodka that actually might work
thank you very much uh tom clegg horn
and uh the other character dan evans i
am also character goodbye