each one of us as a child within us and we often spend most of our time yelling
at that kid in ourselves then we wonder why our lives don't work if you had a
friend who was always criticizing you would you want to be around that person
perhaps you were treated this way as a child and that is sad however that is a
long time ago and if you are now choosing to treat yourself in the same
way then it is sadder still so now here in front of us we have a list of the
negative messages we heard as a child how does this list correspond with what
you believe to be wrong with you are they almost the same probably yes we
base our life script on our early messages we are all good little children
and obediently accept what they tell us is truth it would be very easy just to
blame our parents and be victims for the rest of our lives but that wouldn't be
very much fun and it certainly wouldn't get us out of our stuck position blaming
your family blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem in blaming
another we give our power away understanding enables us to rise above
the issue and take control of our future the past cannot be changed the future is
shaped by our current thinking it is imperative for our freedom to understand
that our parents were doing the best they could with the understanding
awareness and knowledge that they had whenever we blame someone else we are
not taking responsibility for ourselves those people who did all those terrible
things to you were just as frightened as you are they felt just the same help
as you the only things they could possibly teach you or what they had been
taught how much do you know about your parents childhood especially before the
age of 10 if it is still possible for you to find out ask them if you're able
to find out about your parents childhood you will more easily understand why they
did what they did understanding will bring you compassion
if you can't find out try to imagine what it must have been like for them
what kind of childhood would create an adult like that you need this knowledge
for your own freedom you can't free yourself until you free them you can't
forgive yourself until you forgive them if you demand perfection from them you
will demand perfection from yourself and you will be miserable all your life
choosing our parents I agree with the theory that we choose our parents the
lessons we learn seem perfectly matched to the weaknesses of the parents we have
I believe that we are all on an endless journey through eternity we come to this
planet to learn particular lessons that are necessary for our spiritual
evolution we choose our sex our color our country and then we look around for
the perfect set of parents who will mirror our patterns our visits to this
planet are like going to school do you want to become a beautician you go to
beauty school you want to become a mechanic you go to mechanic school if
you want to become a lawyer you go to law school the parents you pick this
time around are the perfect couple who are experts in what you have chosen to
learn when we grow up we have a tendency to point our fingers accusingly at our
parents and say you did it too me but I believe we chose them listening
to others our older brothers and sisters are like God's to us when we are little
if they were unhappy they probably took it out on us physically or verbally they
might have said things like I'll tell on you for instilling guilt you're just a
baby you can't do that you're too stupid to play with us teachers at school often
influence us greatly in the fifth grade a teacher told me emphatically that I
was too tall to be a dancer I believed her and put away my dancing ambitions
till I was too old to make dancing a career did you understand the tests and
grades were only to see how much knowledge you had at a given time or
were you a child who allowed tests and grades to measure your self-worth our
early friends share their own misinformation about life with us the
other kids at school can tease us and leave lasting hurts when I was a child
my last name was Lonnie and the kids used to call me lunatic neighbors also
have an influence not only because of their remarks but also because we're
asked what will the neighbors think think back to what other authority
figures were influential in your childhood and of course there are the
strong and very persuasive statements made by advertisements and periodicals
and on television all too many products are sold by making us feel we are
unworthy or wrong if we don't use them we are all here to transcend our early
limitations whatever they were we are here to recognize our own magnificence
and divinity no matter what they told us you have your negative beliefs to
overcome and I have my negative beliefs to overcome
truth is the unchangeable part of me the question is it true or real as to
answers yes and no it is true if you believe it to be true it is not true if
you believe it isn't true the glass is both half full and half
empty depending on how you look at it there are literally billions of thoughts
we can choose most of us choose to think the same kinds of thoughts our parents
used to think but we don't have to continue to do this there is no law
written that says we can only think in one way whatever you choose to believe
becomes true for you examine your thoughts whatever we believe becomes
true for us if you have a sudden financial disaster then on some level
you may believe you are unworthy of being comfortable with money or you
believe in burdens and debt or you believe that nothing good ever lasts do
you believe that life is out to get you or as I hear so often I just can't win
if you seem unable to attract a relationship you may believe nobody
loves me or I am unlovable perhaps you fear being dominated as your mother was
or maybe you think people are just out to hurt me if you have poor health you
may believe illness runs in our family or that you are a victim of the weather
or perhaps it's I was born to suffer or it's just one thing after another or you
may have a different belief perhaps you're not even aware of your belief
most people really aren't they just see the outer circumstances as being the way
the cookie crumbles until someone can show you the connection between the
outer experience and the inner thought you remain a victim of life
the problem could be a financial disaster and the belief maybe I'm not
worthy of having money or the problem could be no friends with the belief
nobody loves me or problems with work could come from a belief that I'm not
good enough or always pleasing others could be the problem that comes from the
belief I never get my way the problem comes from a thought pattern
and thought patterns can be changed it may feel true it may seem true all these
problems were wrestling with and juggling in our lives however no matter
how difficult an issue we are dealing with it is only an outer result or the
effect of an inner thought pattern if you don't know what thoughts are
creating your problems look at the problems in your life ask yourself what
kinds of thoughts am I having that are creating this if
you allow yourself to sit quietly your inner intelligence will show you the
answer it's only a belief you learned as a child some of the things we believe
are positive and nourishing these thoughts serve us well all of our lives
such as look both ways before you cross the street other thoughts are very
useful at the beginning but as we grow older they are no longer appropriate
don't trust strangers maybe good advice for a small child but for an adult to
continue this belief will only create isolation and loneliness we so seldom
sit down and ask ourselves is this really true for instance why do I
believe things like it's difficult for me to learn is that true for me now
where did that belief come from do I still believe it because a first-grade
teacher told me that over and over would I be better off if I dropped that belief
beliefs that boys don't cry and girls don't climb trees
create men who hide their feelings and women who are afraid to be physical if
we were taught as a child that the world is a frightening place then everything
we hear that fits that belief we will accept as true for us the same is true
for don't trust strangers don't go out at night or people cheat you on the
other hand if we could be taught early in life that the world is a safe place
then we would hold other beliefs we could easily accept that love is
everywhere and people are so friendly and I always have whatever I need if you
were taught as a child that it's all my fault
then you will walk through your life feeling guilty no matter what happens
your belief will turn you into someone who's constantly saying I'm sorry I'm
sorry if you learn to believe as a child I
don't count then this belief will always keep you at the end of the line wherever
you are sometimes you will feel you're invisible when others fail to notice you
did your childhood circumstances teach you to believe nobody loves me then
surely you will be lonely even when you bring a friend or a relationship into
your life it will be short-lived