- Before I start my presentation,
you may have noticed my mom is standing
in the back of the classroom,
and she has got cupcakes for everyone!
That's right. You get a cupcake!
You get a cupcake!
You get a cupcake! (class cheering)
All right, now for my presentation:
Obesity in America.
- "To Kill a Mockingbird."
This is a work of fiction and not,
as you might have expected, a practical how-to manual.
When I discovered this, my disappointment was immeasurable,
and my day was ruined.
- Okay, everyone!
Shut up!
It is time for me to instill some knowledge
into your empty brains.
This is probably the best flippin' presentation
you'll see all year, so show some respect!
- So in the spirit of fun, let's start off my presentation
with a dance party! (loud dance music)
Yeah! Come on, everyone!
Stand up! Start dancing!
And hopefully this will give me a few minutes
to actually make a presentation.
- And now for my favorite part of the speech,
where I get to give you an information dump
of a bunch of statistics and data.
And wow, I can tell that the pie chart
of people who are totally zoned out
is a perfect circle right now.
- I just wanna clarify
that I'm not reading off my slides word for word.
I know all this crap inside and out.
This is just how I feel most comfortable.
Now, are there any questions?
Okay, great. Moving o--
- Uh...
Is it too late for me to call in sick
and do this tomorrow?
Because somehow, I lost one of my 37 note cards,
and even though I've practiced this 4,000 times,
I don't wanna risk going off script.
- Take a look at this wise quote I found by Anonymous.
I mean, man, what a guy.
One of my favorite philosophers of all time, to be sure.
- I can see you all admiring my Italian wool suit.
Yes, some might say
that I am overdressed for a simple presentation
and that I put too much effort into my outfit,
but I like to think that it will distract you all
from noticing that I put no effort
into the dumpster fire you're about to witness.
- Today, I'll be talking about reverse psychology.
Please, don't clap. (someone coughs)
Guys, if you didn't like that,
this is gonna be a rough 15 minutes.
- This is my presentation.
It contains no fancy transitions, no clip art,
no distracting sound effects.
All the info has been compressed into one slide.
So you all just read that quietly
while I take a standing power nap.
(snoring)
- The, uh, first step in any presentation
is...
To make sure that the computer is working.
Okay...
It appears to be working.
Uh, step two,
you've got to click the appropriate file icon, of course.
And now, after 16 attempts,
I have finally opened the presentation file
with the correct program.
(bell rings) Oh, darn.
It looks like class is over
and I'll need to present tomorrow.
- I know that none of you care about what I've just spent
the last 10 minutes droning on about.
I mean, heck, I don't care, and this is my presentation.
So let me make up for that
with a slide about my cat Meatball.
You guys are really gonna love him.
- I worked very hard on this PowerPoint,
so I hope you all will enjoy.
(error sound) Uh...
What, what is going on?
(error sound)
No. (ominous music)
(static chirping)
(static crackling)
(INFJ groaning)
- Well, that about wraps it up.
Uh, is there anything you guys want me to clarify?
There are no stupid questions.
Okay, Timmy, I take it back.
Put your hand down.
Just put your hand down!
- So as you can see from this slide,
corn is mostly yellow...
But sometimes it's white.
(voice-over) - Oh crap, my friends are over there
giggling in the corner.
Are they laughing at me?
Were they ever really my friends?
Oh, no, I got distracted.
Everyone's looking at me.
I've been silent for way too long.
Oh, no, I just made eye contact with my crush!
And now I must look super embarrassed,
and now everyone can tell I have a crush on her!
This is the end of my life!
- In conclusion, I am going to be transferring
to a school out of state
and will never see any of you ever again.
Goodbye.
(mellow music)
- Oh, wow! (chuckles)
I've made a lot of 16 Personalities comedy sketches
on this channel.
You don't believe me?
Well, why don't you watch some more?
Watch this one here.
You'll love it.
Binge the whole playlist right here.
It'll take you several hours.
I appreciate your time commitment.
If you've got an idea for a 16 Personalities sketch,
let me know in the comments.
See you next week.
Until then, stay cool and attractive.