[laughing]
Sorry, guys. I'm working on my new invention.
Y'all better come back tomorrow.
Ooh! New invention?
See?
Ooh.
What is it?
It's a portal to other worlds.
I built it to explore the universe.
Also, for quick trips to Texas
to pick up some of my favorite barbecue nuts.
Yoink!
Oompf!
Dang nabbit! That ding dang nut stealing arm is back again!
Pretty nifty, huh?
Squirrels can do anything they want to.
I bet you can eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite.
Oh.
Give me that.
They don't call me cheeks or nothing.
[laughing]
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, that's just one...
I want an award.
Aah! Patrick, don't cry.
[crying]
You'll get an award one day.
I'm never gonna get an award 'cause I've never done anything.
But... you're Patrick Star.
You can do anything you want.
That's easy for you to say, you're Spongebob.
Patrick, if you want to win an award, you have to do something.
Hmm.
I want to defeat the giant monkey man
and save the ninth dimension!
Me too!
But that sounds a little hard.
Is this the Krusty Krab?
No, this is Patrick.
Is this the Krusty Krab?
No, this is Patrick.
Is this the Krusty Krab?
No!
This is Patrick!
I'm not a Krusty Krab.
What a night be this?
Crew, howl with me
so that we might set the seven seas ablaze with fear!
[howling]
[screaming]
Liddle liddle liddle lee!
[howling]
[screaming]
Liddle liddle liddle lee!
[mumbling]
[laughing]
Who dare...
Who...
disturb...
the...
Flyin'... Dutchman?
My beard!
Hey!
Who dares disturb the Flyin' Dutchman?
He's an inanimate object.
His money is no good here!
What are you sayin', Mr. Squidward?
Everyone's money is good here.
At the Krusty Krab, we serves all kinds.
I am not taking an order for a bubble.
Sure you are, or I'll pay your life with misery and woe!
Even if you quit.
He'll just have one of everything.
One of everything? Whoopee!
Ooh ooh. Ow ow ow!
I love Bubble Buddy!
Squidward, show our best customer to his table.
It's a Krabby Patty.
Ewe eh.
It's cold and hard.
This coulda rolled under there years ago.
There, there, little one.
Your journey is almost over.
What happened?
Someone tried to throw away a patty.
Pinch-O-Matic has saved you five point two cents.
But, Mr. Krabs, I found that under the grill.
And tomorrow a customer will find it under his bun.
But it's old and cold...
and so very full of mold.
You're not to make another patty until that one is sold.
[laughing]
♪ Faster than light! ♪
♪ Prepared to stop crime! ♪
♪ It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! ♪
Yeah!
♪ If you're in a jam ♪
[screaming]
♪ It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! ♪
The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!
The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!
In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town,
a call goes out in frustration.
Will you hurry up?
A call that would normally be answered
by Bikini Bottom's semi retired champions...
if they weren't the ones causing the problem.
Let's see. I want a...
no...
I want a...
a...
a no... uh...
Hmm.
Sir, will you please order already?
You're holding up the line.
Uh...
Hey, Mermaid Man.
Get a Krabby Patty.
I've made my decision.
[cheering]
One Krabby Patty for me and a Pip Squeak Patty for the boy.
Now, wait just a darn minute.
Oh!
I'm talking to a Billboard.
[meowing]
Now I'm hearing things.
If only I could see you one more time.
So, I can tell you how much I love you.
If only I could hear you meow one last time.
[meowing]
Yeah, like that.
[purring]
Gary, your purring is making it hard to forget you.
Gary!
Oh Gary!
So, did you hear any of that?
Or do I have to repeat myself?
[meowing]
Okay, good.
Look at this brooch!
[meowing]
I don't know what a snail would want with a brooch!
Now, why don't you just get in the tub?
Get in the tub!
In the tub!
Now, Gary, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna hav...
[screaming]
Gary, could you uh...
Gary, no!
Gary!
Spongebob, what do you like better?
The Kutie Krab or the Kooky Krab?
For what, dare I ask?
The new name for our new look.
I mean, the Krusty Krab has got to go.
Who wants to eat at a place they think is krusty?
Blech.
Well, sure, it's a terrible name,
but this is a terrible place.
Therefore, the name should be left alone.
- Right, SpongeBob? - I got it.
How about the Khaotic Krab?
Hmmm. How about the Kissy Krab? Muah, muah, muah.
- The King Krab. - The Kandy Krab.
The Kool Krab or the Kowboy Krab?
The Kurly Krab, the Kreepy Krab,
the Killer Krab!
No.
You're right. Too scary. Mmm.
The Kuddly Krab.
[laughing]
Gosh.
Please keep your arms and legs inside at all times.
And did not leave the boat until the ride is over.
Thank you.
Um, Carol, your arm, it's outside the boat.
[sighing]
I will put my arm in the boat.
But don't touch me!
Don't talk to me.
Don't even look at me!
[sighing]
Boring!
Will my arrow find her heart?
Oh.
This ride is lame!
You forgot!
And I got you the perfect gift!
The Krabby Patty formula?
Muah! Muah!
How did you get it?
First, I went to the Krusty Krab...
One Krabby Patty, please?
Thank you.
Whatever.
You're not coming in here smelling like that!
Hey! What are you...
[squealing]
Stop that at once. You...
[gasping]
I command you to...
Oh no!
[screaming]
There you go.
Now, don't you feel better?
Okay, Spongebob.
What's the first thing you do?
Nineteen twenty four?
No, no.
First thing is... to start the boat.
[mumbling]
Spongebob. Spongebob, relax.
- It's only the boat. - The boat?
Okay. Now, what do you do next?
- Floor it? - Yes. No, no! Don't floor it!
- Floor it? - No, no, no. Don't floor it!
- Okay! Floor it! - No!
- Floor it! Floor it! - Oh no! No!
Oh, Spongebob.
Why?
[laughing]
Just let me check the quality, my dear.
Let go of my grub, bub!
Whoa!
I'm famished!
Psst!
That's not food, that's Spongebob!
Yer!
[grunting]
We gotta stop her.
[grunting]
Where are you going with my dinner?
Squidward, go long!
- Hey! - I don't want ‘em!
Gross!
[mumbling]
[growling]
[screaming]
Hmm.
[screaming]
[sighing]
Whoa!
Ahh!
[belching]
Ooh.
Tell me!
[crying]
What?
Alright, it's true!
I tricked you to get the Krabby Patty!
But then you showed me friendship...
and now I realize...
that's all I ever really wanted.
- Really? - No, not really.
Being evil is too much fun.
Darling, I knew nothing would ever tear us apart.
We'll let the customers decide whose burger's better.
Go on, sir. Tell your buddies what you think.
Here you are, sir.
You are the first to taste a Krabby Patty.
Flavor!
[cheering]
I'll show you, Krabs.
I'll steal that cursed recipe from you one day.
And I won't stop ‘till I do!
Wahoo!
My recipe was, is, and always will be, the best!
You wouldn't have that recipe if it weren't for me!
You calling me a liar?
Will you men stop yelling at each other?
I can't believe you let a recipe ruin
such a wonderful friendship.
Spongebob Squarepants?
That's me.
That's a big box.
Thank you.
Hey, Spongebob, when do we stop hopping?
Thirty more seconds, Patrick.
Probably ordered a lifetime supply of bubble salt.
[laughing]
[groaning]
Huh?
A brand new television?
Easy. Easy.
[grunting]
[cheering]
Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider.
Let me get this straight.
You two ordered a giant screen television
just so you could play in the box?
- Pretty smart, huh? - I thought it wouldn't work.
Yeah, that's quite a plan there.
Oh, but wait.
There's something else I wanted to ask you two.
Oh, what was it?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Don't you two have any brains?
Squidward, we don't need television.
Not as long as we have our imagination.
Okay! Okay, here we go!
Here we go.
[grunting]
I know!
I just need to get a little blood pumping in the old noodle.
How about some calisthenics?
Hap poo!
I can feel those juices pumping now.
[laughing]
What am I doing?
I gotta write that paper!
Come on, Pencil.
Make words.
Okay, now.
How many of you have played musical instruments before?
Do instruments of torture count?
No.
Is mayonnaise, an instrument?
No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not an instrument.
Horseradish is not an instrument either.
That's fine. No one has any experience.
Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.
[laughing]
All of you...
[laughing]
Yeah. Mm hmm.
When do we get the free food?
Okay, try to repeat after me.
Brass section, go!
Good. Now, the wind.
And the drums.
Too bad that didn't kill me.
[gasping]
[moaning]
Why this Krabby Patty may be the most...
horrible, putrid, poorly prepared, vile, unappetizing,
disgusting excuse for a sandwich,
it has ever been my displeasure to have
slither down my throat...
But...
And I curse this Krabby Patty, and all who enjoy them,
to an early and well-deserved grave!
Get it?
But it doesn't make any sense.
The Krabby Patty is an absolute good.
Nobody is immune to its tasty charms.
Nobody but me.
- Are you sure? - Does this look unsure to you?
- No. - Good.
Now, go spread the word.