Do you know why the whole world hates a clipper?
You're just a whiny little baby
Who's far to slow on the flop
Are you ashamed of me, Father?
You are the former first-team All-ACC McDonald’s All-American Naismith Prep Player of the Year
And you are my son
I bet you need whole new library just for all defensive plays
Oh, no no no
None of that here
I say, half the defense
double the offense
Oh! What happened to Lord Commander?
Are you OK?
He was attacked...at the end of the 4th quarter
by the Jester
While the Rivers boy laughed
I will break their ankles!
Nay nay
Nene’s in the other tent. Should I get him?
I mean no
Violence is not the answer
But sometimes, it is
It's futile, Chris
You know the gates of Stables Castle are impregnable
There are other ways in!
Now House Clippers share their castle with House Lakers
which means doubly fortified walls
They were reinforced to protect Kobe from Shaq after his exile
And then re-reinforced to protect Kobe from Dwight
And then re-re-reinforced to protect Kobe from trying to unretire
It won't be easy
I’ll need our best five
So that’s me, James, Clint, Trevor, Eric...
or Ryan...wait no
We need someone expendable...a journeyman
You. What’s your name?
Green, ser. Just signed a 10-day
You're in
The Stables Castle has a secret back entrance
a wheelchair ramp built for Ser Paul Pierce
Synchronize your sundials
If we time it right, we can slice through their lazy zone defense at the rear gates
Ah, a backdoor cut
Exactly
But we’ll need a distraction
That’s where you come in, Clint
[Knocking]
Who goes there?
Oh, hello!
I’m here from Big Balleros Brand
Would you be interested in purchasing some boots?
Uh...
How much for the sandals?
Uh...great choice
They're actually on sale for...
400 gold
Wait, what?
Above the back door is a small window that leads to Donald Sterling’s secret roost where he would send his racist ravens
It’s easy to spot because all his birds were white
Hoist me up, and I’ll sneak in and unlock the door
Uh...they're autographed by Lonzo Ball
The GOAT
Wait...aren't you on House Rockets?
Um...
Cuz if you are...
Please take me with you!
Why’s he taking so long?
Do you–do you think he got caught?
Welcome to the Stables Castle
Once inside, we'll have to walk on eggshells
You see, Sterling’s Roost is now the chamber of Chuck the Condor
the most horrifying mascot in the Realm
All right now, you lead the way
Me? Why me?
Do you want a guaranteed contract?
Well, yeah, but—
Then do–then go!
[Crack]
[Terrible screaching]
Oh gods, he just ate him
He just ate that journeyman guy!
Oh no! He's coming back
[Hotdog impact]
Hunting for fowls. It's what I do
I don’t know. Are condors considered fowl—WHOA
[Hotdog impact]
And-1
We then descend past Phil Jackson’s Zen Garden
and into the shrine to Kobe built by Kobe to honor himself
Now what?
I don't know
There’s supposed to be a secret passageway
James, check his closet
Nothing...just some skeletons
Here! Look
Hm...
I bet it's–ugh!
Two!
Four!
[Mambas whipping]
Ugh!
Mambas! Black Mambas!
Trevor!
Uh okay, um, think! Think! Eight! It’s got to be eight
Wait. Hold on! Hold on!
It could be five! For each championship
No! It's...it's 81
Kobe scored 81 on Ser Jalen, the Knight of Roses
Of course!
Yes! Yes! He values individual accomplishments above all others
Eight!
One!
[Stones grinding]
[Mechanism whirring]
Trevor, are you okay?
Ugh, I’m suspended
Go on without me. Finish what we started
Better him than us, I suppose
This will take us to the locker room doors
Now in the event that we encounter the Jester,
we implement Operation Jenner
Cheers, thanks for coming out, um...
So my squire year, some of the older blokes take me to a whorehouse…to a whorehouse...
Ugh...can’t I just cross him up or something?
James, we’ve been through this
He will whine and howl and the guards will be all over us
It’s true, no one can whine like Blake, he’s the best
Second-best. Second-best. Sorry
All right, on with the dress and off with the beard
Oh, I don't know. It's not just a beard
I am The Beard
Do it for Lord Commander
[Sighs]
Goodbye, old friend
[Cutting]
Your beard, James
And your pubes
You look…
...stunning
I just...I don’t know if I can do this
Don’t worry, James
Instead of acting like you’re getting fouled,
just act like Kendall Jenner
Uh...hey, baby
Kendall? What are you doing here?
I came here to...dunk
I–I mean talk!
But–but I’m at work
Well, you haven’t been rebound—you haven't been responding to my ravens
I don't think you sent me any ravens
I was Eurostepping—I mean I was Europe modeling!
I mean I was in Europe–I was modeling in Europe, you see
I'm an influencer model
Kendall, are you okay?
Sorry, lately I’ve been feeling a little beard
I mean I’m feeling a little weird!
I’m James Harden
I mean, I’m Kendall Kardashian–Jenner?
Ah, ref, where's the call?!
And that’s when I make...the move
What are you doing here?
Doing something I should have done a long time ago
[Slap]
Gotcha, bitch!
Daddy!