(Karens laughing)
- Oh, Lord.
- [Karen] You're so bad.
- I know, I'm bad.
- Okay, okay, Karens.
You know what?
I am just dying to make a food service worker cry today.
- (sighs) Yes, Karens.
I cannot wait to speak to every manager in town. (clapping)
- Ooh, Karens, I can't wait to yell
something offensive at an innocent stranger,
- [Karens] Let's go on a Karen binge! (clapping)
(electronic dance music)
- [Man] Karens.
- [Woman] They're the worst.
(electronic dance music)
- I come here once a month,
and if you were good at your job,
you would already know what I want.
- Mr. Mayor.
It is constitutionally and morally wrong
to force me to wear a mask.
It's my body, my choice.
- Um, honey, your mother did not intend
for you to pierce your face with all that metal.
- We should also make it illegal
to dye your hair unnatural colors,
'cause it's their body, but it's my choice.
- (clapping) You need to go home
and apologize to your mother.
- Okay.
- Did you just talk back to me?
- Mr. Mayor, my tax dollars pay your salary,
so you have to do what I say.
This is my hard-earned American dollars
that I inherited from my father, that's paying you.
- Excuse me, who are you to tell me
that I can't put my cinnamon almond milk macchiato
in a reusable cup that says diva on it?
- It's a law.
It's 'cause it would get the plastic too hot,
and I'd give you cancer.
- Excuse me, I want to use my diva cup, please.
- [Karens] Diva.
(Karen speaking gibberish)
- Mr. Mayor, (sighs) excuse me.
You already make me inject my child
with poison in order to go to school.
- I would like-
- To speak-
- To the manager.
- Manager.
(electronic dance music)
- An ivy league?
- What a shame.
- It's disgusting.
- What an eyesore.
- (groaning) These menus are sticky.
I am writing a curt online review.
- I do not care that this coupon has expired.
I am going to make you honor it.
- You want to see my ID? (scoffs)
Oh honey, I have been drinking spiked lemonade
since before you were born, baby face.
- A door-to-door salesman?
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
There is no soliciting in this neighborhood, buddy!
- No, I will not pull around
and wait for you to bring my drink.
I will wait right here, thank you very much.
- Uh-uh, no, sir.
You do not roll your eyes at me.
Your job is not that hard.
Go over there, and then come back here, and then go back.
- Excuse you, move that ambulance.
I am planned to walk.
- You know, they don't want to tell you this,
but tipping is actually optional.
- Hey, come here!
No soliciting (bleep).
- (clapping) Tipping is optional.
- No, don't come here.
It's private property!
The customer is always right! (gasping)
Why are you doing this to me?
I am an American. (crying)
- If there's too much steam in that broccoli,
I'm sending it back.
They will not burn my mouth.
- Hey, y'all, just checking in, seeing if you need anything.
(suspenseful music)
Oh, hey, hey, what gives?
- You are being too attentive.
Checking in on us to see if we need anything?
- Ooh, that kind of burns.
(gasps) What's happening?
- Don't upsell us or backtalk us.
We are smarter than you, young man.
- Oh, no.
What's happening to me?
- You are lucky we're not secret shoppers.
That attitude of yours will get you written up.
- (groaning) Y'all better get your fake ass acrylic nails
off my lily-white skin, I swear to God.
- [Karens] (groaning demonically) I need a manager!
- I heated your latte to exactly 140 degrees, okay?
I checked with a thermometer,
which I have, and you do not, so drink it.
(Karen gasps)
Nice catch, bitch.
- And one other item on the agenda.
My feet hurt so bad, y'all,
can we just talk about that for one minute?
- [Karens] (groaning) Don't even get us started.
- [Karen] I don't care about the return policy.
These Mary Janes are going back to overstock.com.
(Karens talking in unison)
(beep)
(dog barking)
- Get out of here, you stupid dog.
(dog panting)
(beep)
- [Computerized Voice] Wait.
- Oh, you don't tell me to wait.
- [Computerized Voice] Wait.
- I'm reporting your ass.
- [Computerized Voice] Wait.
(beep)
- Excuse me, what do you mean I can't
put my cinnamon almond milk machiattio-
Sorry.
(beep) Who are you to tell me that I can't
put my cinnamon almond milk-
Dammit.
(beep) What do you mean I can't put my cinnamon almond milk-
(beep) I'm gonna use, I'm gonna say,
I can do it, I can do it. (beep)
(Karen speaking gibberish) (laughing)
(man laughing)
(beep)
I would like to speak to the manager, please.
(laughing)
(beep)
Look at this, this is me going to the grocery store.
My eyes immediately got blood shot.
I felt very, very shaky.
My mouth is to speak the words of the Lord,
and you are blocking me from doing that.
Carbon monox-
Dioxide. (sniffs)
(offscreen laughter)
(beep)
- [Woman] Stay.
Stay.
No.
Oh, bull, come on.
(beep) - This is my son, my baby boy,
perfect angel child, Chad Michael Murray Johnson.
He's so sweet, but he is sad and alone.
I'm sorry, can I get a couple minutes?
(sighing) Okay, I'm back.
(beep)
(Karens sniffing)
(Karen stammering)
- Is that aroma coming from a-
- [Karens] Neighborhood barbecue?
(beep)
- [Woman] You ladies need to put on a mask.
- Oh, no.
- Excuse me, did you just ask us to do something?
- I swear to God.
- You need to apologize.
- I have a doctor's note in my vehicle right now.
- I am recording you. - It is a God-given right-
- I will take you down.
- And the doctor the said I don't have to wear a mask.
- I know karate.
- Masks are not God, give it a rest.
I don't have to wear a mask.
- You don't have to wear a mask, either.
- You need to wear a mask.
Back up. - I have you on camera.
- You.