gentleman's game here today we're gonna do something a little bit different it
was actually my birthday a few weeks ago and the week leading up to my birthday I
took time to reflect on how I've navigated my 20s so far things I wish I
could have done differently things I wish I didn't waste so much time on etc
so I felt inspired to share five of the most important lessons I've learned so
far in my 20s these are things I wish someone had told me when I was 19 or 20
about to enter a real adulthood so hopefully for the younger viewers or
viewers in your early 20s you can pick up something useful from this video to
apply to your own life before we start though make sure to check out my free 5
page PDF on the fundamentals of Attraction in the description box below
if you haven't done so yet alright let's begin number 1 an abundance of time and
options when you're in your 20s you will never have more free time in your life
than you do right now chances are you most likely don't have a kid yet or a
mortgage to pay off you might have a job that you need to devote eight hours to
everyday but once you're off the clock you probably have lots of free time or
at least lots of free time relative to how little time you'll have in your 30s
and 40s I want you to think of time as a river you know sounds like a cheesy
Eastern proverb but it's a good analogy when you're born you start out by the
shore ready to sail into the waters and as you go through school and learn how
to make friends and be social you're starting to venture out into the waters
a bit more as the flow of the river pushes you further and further away from
the shore and eventually when you're in your 20s you're at a very unique spot in
the river you know it's too far from the shore that you can't swim back and the
river's current is only pushing you further and further away but you're
still very very far away from the end of the river so you have the decision of
how you're going to sell your boat right like which direction you want to swim
towards for the remainder of your life thing is when you're in your 20s you
have so much time again you will probably never have as much time and
energy as you do now so take advantage of it
how do you want to set yourself up for the rest of your life right what skills
do you want to learn you know what kind of a dating life do you want what
countries do you want to visit before you die
all of these are questions you need to reflect on and then direct your time and
energy into solving when you're this young the options are truly endless
right it's like that quote you can do anything but not everything so take
advantage of your abundance of time and gain experiences if there's a time in
your life to be selfish it's now in your 20s number two
take more risks and l's if there's one thing I'm really grateful I did in my
early 20s it was that I took lots and lots of L's or losses I lost tens of
thousands of dollars trying to build my first two businesses I worked at
miserable soul-crushing jobs for years after school before finding my path I
would go to clubs with my buddies and sometimes I not only get rejected by
girls but I'd get completely embarrassed like I remember one time this girl
literally gave me a look like you're kidding right before she sipped her
drink and just walked away those rejections those l's hurt so much at the
time I'd feel defeated frustrated like was it even worth going out to improve
my game if it was gonna suck this much was it worth taking these painful
rejections and having my self-esteem obliterated the next morning I'd wake up
look at myself in the mirror and ask these tough questions but almost always
my answer was yes yes it was worth taking all these risks all these Elle's
because it made me tougher it made me more resilient to adversity and looking
back that was probably the single greatest decision I made because through
those early experiences of taking lots of risks
lots of losses you'll learn to stop fearing failure and once you stop being
scared to fail you gained a certain sense of freedom the freedom of actually
learning for learnings sake not just trying to avoid failure there's a great
book I actually read about this failing forward by John C Maxwell basically in
the book he talks about how when you take risks and fail you have one of two
choices you can there take the failure personally like
you're inherently just not good enough making you discouraged from trying again
in the future or you can choose a second option which is to choose to interpret
your failure as an opportunity for growth seeing where you need to work on
etc going back to the same example as before when I get a rejection from a
girl these days which will still happen by the way no matter how good you become
I brush it off easily I learned to even find the humor in it
like damn that girl just shut me down okay you know it's alright her boyfriend
would have liked that anyways if I made out with her and then I just move on to
the next one the next shot the next project or the next whatever that you're
scared to fail at so don't be scared to take more risks do things that take you
out of your comfort zone things where you'll likely fail at times but it's
still so worth it in the end once you evolve into a better you number three
not everyone is going to like you from childhood through your teenage years
you're taught how to get along with people you know you work on group
projects form study groups join extracurricular organizations maybe
learn how to work your first job and be an obedient employee during these
formative years you're encouraged to avoid confrontation when a bully tries
to bother you in school you probably call on the teacher to take care of it
instead of handling it yourself for example but once you become a grown
adult you quickly realize that you're gonna have to learn how to deal with
difficult people because not everyone is gonna be reasonable not everyone is
gonna like you and if you maintain that childlike desire to please everyone and
avoid confrontation you will be taken advantage of in some way it's inevitable
because there are some real jerks out there and that's completely fine because
you're not gonna like everyone back what you need to learn to do in these
scenarios whether at work or at a social event when you bump into some unsavory
people who don't like you is to stop caring what they think about you right
there's another book I read about this called The Four Agreements right one of
the principles the author teaches is to stop taking things personally basically
when someone acts like a dick to you it has more to do
with their own issues rather than something wrong with you right some
people are just unpleasant so stop caring what they think about you
and stop trying to please everyone it's corny to say but be yourself be
comfortable with who you are whoever likes you will like you for you and
those that don't like you won't that is life number four go out as much as
possible when you're in your 20s there's never again going to be a time
in your life where you'll have as much energy time and motivation to go out and
meet people the sad reality is the older you get the less you're gonna go out
it'll be harder and harder for you and your friends to get together as they get
married have kids and buy a house your 20s are the time in your life where you
can go out the most not that you can't go out in your 30s and beyond anyone who
wants to improve in this aspect of their life still can you know but generally it
just isn't the same when you're older so enjoy it while it lasts also another
reason I suggest to go out as much as possible in your 20s is because it's the
best time to actually learn how to be comfortable and natural in these types
of environments a lot of my viewers tell me that they have some form of social
anxiety well the best way to overcome social anxiety is simply through
exposing yourself to those sorts of social situations and to slowly
desensitize yourself to the anxiety or those feelings of awkwardness so if you
do have social anxiety you're gonna benefit so much more from learning to
overcome that in your 20s so that you'll have the rest of your life to reap the
benefits of learning those social skills on the other hand if you have social
anxiety and you put off trying to overcome it until your 30s it's only
gonna be harder and harder to do so as you get older and your brain gets more
set in its ways and when you do finally overcome social anxiety in your 30s
you'll have less time to actually reap the benefits so don't put this off go
out as much as possible in your 20s take social risks and learn to strike a
conversation with a stranger I'm not saying you have to go out every night
but once or twice a week is good you'll be thanking yourself that you did and
you'll look back fondly on those years with nostalgia when
older number-5 move out look I get that Millennials live with
their parents on average way more compared to older generations and you
can blame this on a bunch of different reasons buying a house is more expensive
than ever the increase in salaries hasn't kept up with inflation the
student loan debt trap can feel like a shackle around your ankle and so on and
so forth but with that being said I still can't
emphasize enough how important it is to experience living on your own at some
point in your 20s this is the age when you're supposed to learn how to be truly
independent to be self-sufficient truth is women just aren't attracted to a 35
year old man still living in his mother's basement it's alright for a
while but at some point you need to be your own man I mean think about it let's
say you end up having the most amazing night out meeting a beautiful girl who's
super into you down to come over and have fun and then you take her back to
your parents house not exactly a turn-on for her in my personal opinion I think
it's fine to stay at home until 25 or 26 I actually didn't move out until I was
24 but forcing yourself to find a way to survive on your own will be a powerful
growth experience it'll be stressful at times there might be moments when you're
questioning yourself if you made the right choice if you should stick with it
and learn to deal with the responsibility of living on your own or
move back in with your parents so that you can save some money and let them
take care of you but I promise that the lessons and life experiences you'll gain
from moving out and being your own man or woman will transform you into a
tougher more resilient more resourceful and overall more mature and capable
adults if you put yourself in a situation where you don't get a chance
to learn these skills until your 30s the reality is by then you'll be behind the
curve compared to your peers so to summarize today we talked about
five things you need to know in your 20s which are number one taking advantage of
how much time and options you have number two taking more risks and l's
number three not everyone is gonna like you number four go out as much as
possible and number five move out and be in the
tendance if you enjoyed this video do me a favor and give it a thumbs up next
week we'll be talking about types of women you should avoid so make sure to
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peace