- Why is it that the more someone tries to be magnetic,
the less attractive their energy is?
And why is it that the less they care,
the less attached to outcome they are?
They then are so much more desirable,
and people chase that kind of energy.
What is the difference here?
Now, for understanding your own attractive energy,
your own magnetic energy,
it's very important to start becoming aware
of the energy that you're putting out.
Because the energy we put out is felt by other people.
People feel what you feel about you.
This is why a lot of times, when it comes to confidence,
if you would just own the insecurities,
then what would happen, is if you own the insecurities,
say it has something to do with,
like something on your face, size of your nose.
Like, something like that.
If you feel self-conscious about it
and you give it the meaning
that says that there's something wrong with me,
or you just simply don't feel attractive
because you haven't accepted that part of yourself,
you then go out into the world
and you're projecting out an energy
that says I'm not comfortable.
Oh, look at, are you looking at my mole?
I remember one time my mom said that she had cyst,
which is like this thing that comes on the face sometimes.
And she went out into public
and she thought, like everyone was looking at her,
and then like, someone at Blockbuster
or something like this,
this was a long time ago, was like,
she was telling this funny story
about how this person was saying,
"I insist you look at this one," or something like that.
Like, using the word insist, just to like, poke fun at it.
The interesting thing is though,
is when we're self-conscious about it,
we'll notice everything in reality
that's reflecting that back to us.
And people will feel our energy,
and then respond to us in that way.
So, one of the biggest things you could do
for your own confidence is to simply own and feature
whatever you think is your flaw.
If you think it's a flaw that you're a certain height?
Maybe you think you're too tall?
Or you think you're too short?
If you would just own it,
other people wouldn't care.
And not only that, they would see it like, you know,
they would see it as almost a benefit or something.
It depends on the energy you are embodying
to how people are responding to you.
So this is something to be very aware of,
because magnetic energy follows the energy
that is not attached.
Because when we're attached to what other people think,
when we're attached to how other people feel,
then our energy is in a way, needy and manipulative.
It's an interesting thing
about people pleasers and nice guys,
is they need other people,
and want other people to validate them,
and they want their approval,
and they don't want them to feel tension.
So they will, like, sacrifice their level of self,
they'll sacrifice their own frame
to make other people happy.
But then they feel like they don't know
who the hell they are.
They're tuning their own energy to ping to everybody else.
And guess what?
It's not attractive.
It's not magnetic.
What is attractive and magnetic,
is when you are bringing the energy
into your hands and into your body and being present,
and not attached.
When you're attached,
you're projecting your energy outside of you.
And that changes the energy of the dynamic.
I went to a life transformation place in Costa Rica.
And there was an energy person there
that did like a Ted Talk.
And she was explaining this.
And she said, "I want everyone in the crowd right now
to project your energy at me."
And she's sitting in the front of the crowd.
And she says, "When you guys do this, it backs me up.
Like, I feel projected, it like repels me."
She goes, "Now, bring your energy back,
bring it into your bodies, bring it into your hands,
bring it into your feet."
And as we did that, guess what happened?
She's like, "I feel pulled towards you guys.
Like, I feel like magnetized to you guys,
because there's an energetic dynamic
that goes when you're present inside your own body."
And don't just take my word for it.
Go out into wherever you eat, your restaurants,
your like, coffee shops, whatever.
And try this, put the awareness into your body,
into your own frame, into your hands, into your heart,
into your feet.
And feel the separation between you and others.
Don't just focus on the connection.
It's common in the spirituality niche.
She's like, "I'm gonna feel connected to everybody,
this is great, but sometimes there's almost too much
of that connection, because then you feel so connected
that you don't know where somebody,
where you end and someone else begins,
because their happiness becomes your happiness,
people pleaser.
Instead of being a people pleaser,
you wanna please yourself.
You wanna stop abandoning yourself.
But when you feel the separation,
you then start to feel safe in your own body.
And when I would do this exercise, I'd go to Whole Foods
when I lived in Sedona, I'd go on a hike.
And before the people pleasing mentality
would come out of me, I'd be like, "Oh,"
I mean it wasn't this dramatic, you know,
but I would go out and there's times
I felt like, obligated to say hi to people.
Even just on a hike, I'd be like, "Hello, how are you?"
And I used to work at nine to five job
selling women's shoes.
And I had to greet people all day long.
"Hello, how are you?
Do you need help with anything?"
It sounds needy.
"Can you give me validation?
Can you give me a sale, please?
I'm just standing here not helping anybody.
Hey, how are you?"
But when you're in your own frame and you don't care?
You're like, "Hey, how you doing, how are you?
How are you?
I don't care what you,
I'm not attached to you doing anything.
Hey guys, can you guys please like this video?
You see that energy?
Hey if you guys like this video
can you guys please like it?
Or if I'm like, if you guys feel called to it?
You like this video, it helps the video get shared more.
It also helps people that are on the awakening path
find this kind of contest so they can wake up.
So it helps people.
You can like it if you like.
Which energy are you more receptive to?
Once attached to outcome, one doesn't care.
And the interesting thing about energy
is the person that is the least attached,
has the most frame.
Think about that.
The person that is the least attached to outcome,
that is the least attached to validation,
that is the least attached to trying to control,
ends up having more frame.
And having and being in frame is attractive, it's magnetic.
Being in your own body is attractive because it's magnetic.
You're actually being present.
What is really attractive to anybody is presence.
Are you present inside your own body?
Are you present to the moment?
Think about like, going on a date with someone,
and somebody that's like, "Okay I hope this date ends
with like, getting a smooch on the cheek.
Oh my God, that'd be amazing.
Oh, I just hope it ends like that, ah!"
You know what reminds me of,
there's this show called "The White Lotus,"
and there's like this,
she's like, Stiffler's mom, because I've seen her.
She's like, "Oh yes, that's just amazing!"
She's always like peeled out in her characters
on shows and stuff like that,
but kind of reminds me of that kind of energy, you know?
And what you wanna do is not be attached,
not be attached, and not need anything from anybody else.
So if you're on a date, that's where I was going with that.
So if you're going on a date and you're like,
"Oh, I just hope it goes so well,
I just hope they like me.
And I hope it ends with the, like this way,
or maybe they'll call me back."
And I just immediately, you know what?
Maybe this person's my twin flame, my soul mate.
I'm gonna put 'em on a pedestal.
I really hope it goes well,
because they don't know this yet,
but they're my twin flame and soulmate.
And like, we've had so many incarnations together,
like all these stories.
And it's such a heavy energy
because it's attached to outcome.
But then you got someone that goes out
that's like, "I'm just gonna have fun.
I'm just gonna enjoy the freaking process.
I'm gonna have fun, I'm going to be present to the moment.
I'm gonna say jokes I wanna say,
'cause I self amuse myself, as well as like,
you know, want to add value and stuff.
But, the way you wanna think about this is
which person is more present?
What are you doing as an end result?
And what are you doing because you enjoy it
and it's who you are?
Look at the difference there.
Very, very big difference in energy.
When I was helping people with women's shoes,
if I was like making a video and I was like,
"Okay, I really," or I was making,
even with making videos, if I'm making videos,
I'm like, "I really hope this video does well,
I hope you guys feel the energy and all this stuff."
And then you could feel that energy.
But if I'm making a video
because this is part of my identity, this is who I am,
it's easy, it's natural.
It's a different energy.
When I was selling women's shoes, I was like,
"I hope I help customers, and like,
I'm helping a customer to sell them shoes
so I make a bigger paycheck."
Very different energy.
But if I was helping someone just to connect
with them and have fun, very different.
Because it's an end of itself, it's more present energy.
So being magnetic, remember,
the person that is the least attached
is the most attractive.
How do you become least attached?
You heal and let go of the other validation points you make.
You let go of pretty much the external
of trying to manipulate and control the external
to get your needs met.
And instead, you start realizing
that you are the source of your own needs.
You can meet your own needs.
And the way that you do that,
is you have to heal some stuff sometimes.
At least you have to become aware of stuff.
Many of us have an abandonment issue,
where we felt abandoned when we were kids.
We felt abandoned.
Maybe our mom or our dad, maybe they physically left,
or maybe they just emotionally checked out.
And then we made this meaning and said,
"Oh there's something wrong with me,
I don't want people to abandon me,
I don't want people to reject me
so I'm gonna change my frame."
Maybe you were the glue of your family
and had to, like, glue all the siblings together
from all the craziness.
And then you decided I'm gonna change my frame
to make everybody else happy.
And then what happens, is that's the energy that we stay in,
and we're trying to change ourselves.
So what we do is we abandon ourself
to then make everybody else happy.
But remember, being in your own frame is what is magnetic.
And just do that,
you must stop abandoning yourself.
How many times do you say yes to going out with friends
or doing things maybe you don't wanna do
because you forget yourself?
And you have to do what they want,
you think you have to.
How many times are you not being fair to yourself
because you're expending yourself to other people?
How many times do you over-explain yourself
to other people when you don't need to?
If somebody says, "Hey, do you wanna do this tomorrow?"
And you don't wanna do it.
You can literally just say no, period.
No!
You don't have to say, "No because,"
then you make up some white lie.
"I have to pick my mom up from the airport,
and then my brother's in town,
and then there's like eight other things happening.
So just know that I really wish I could hang out with you.
But I can't because I have so much stuff going on."
You don't have to go that in detail and lie.
If you lie, it's even worse,
'cause then you're not being in integrity to your own word.
Instead, "No, I don't feel like doing."
You could say, "I don't feel like doing it," which is true.
When I first started setting boundaries and stuff;
because boundaries are attractive,
boundaries are magnetic.
The more successful you become,
the more boundaries you will set.
The more boundaries you will have,
because you will guard your energy more
because your time becomes more valuable.
So for everything I'm sharing today,
realize, being in your own frame is key to transformation.
It's the key.
If you wanna transform your life,
then what you wanna do,
is you wanna focus more on being present to the moment
in your own frame, leading, stop abandoning yourself,
learn how to set boundaries more.
And as you do this, this will change everything about you.
If you haven't checked it out, by the way already,
I have a 21 day magnetic love challenge
which will help you to heal codependent wounds,
get more in own frame, let go of the old attachment style
of anxious or avoidant to become more secure.
Let go of codependent patterns
that you can really just feel whole and complete
from the inside out.
And you will have more magnetic energy.
It's the magnetic love challenge.
You can join it for free, or no, you can't.
It's actually paid.
It's $67.
It's pretty cheap though.
And all you gotta do is you click below
and you go to aarondoughty.com/love.
It's a 21 day process.
It's the most powerful challenge I have.
And you can read the testimonial as soon as possible.
Okay?
Now, other than that,
there is a video for things that letting go of
make you magnetic AF, and confident AF.
You can check this video out here.
It's one of my most powerful videos.
Watch this video.
Watch how much your life changes.
People feel what you feel about you.
The energy inside of our bodies are contagious,
and based on how we feel about ourselves,
that energy is being emanated out,
and other people are responding to us.