you do not need to apply a scientific method to
know that having friends is extremely beneficial
besides the developmental benefits having friends opens
the pathway for emotional support from
making each other laugh to consoling each other through hard times
emotional exchange is the foundation
of a good friendship however there are some friendships
where one person gives while the other person takes
not surprisingly bad friendships
are quite common a simple google search using
the term 'bad friends' quickly generates just
324,000,000 results
from published articles to sporty t-shirts
the acknowledgement and commonality of bad friendships
is obvious while not condoning different
kinds of friendships here are some ways to recognize
if you are in a toxic relationship either the taker
or giver and how to change it while searching the web
the three of the most common types of bad friends are
the unaware
sometimes people say or do things without thinking
other times people treat others badly because
they grew up in a household that taught them misinformed ways
as a result some people
are unaware that they are bad friends simply
because they don't know any better these people
have an opinion about every part of your life from
whom you should date to which college courses you should take
the unaware believes that they are being a good friend because
they have taken the time to analyze your life for you
the unaware will cross boundaries very often
even after you reinforce that you do not want them
to cross certain boundaries unfortunately the
unaware has a strong compulsion to inject themselves
into every part of your life believing
that they have the better perspective of your life than you do
the users the user has
a strong tendency to gravitate toward people
who are more than often willing to help them
in fact most of the time
users will dominate conversations
or will only contact you when it's convenient
the user has very little boundaries and is very
in tuned to certain people who one: love to help
or two: have a hard time saying no
as a result the user exploits their friends loyalty
and desire to be needed the fakers
fakers are the most toxic friends you can have
simply because the entire
friendship is reliant on their personal gain
fakers have a tendency of having an overly
inflated ego with a fragile sense of self
as such fakers garner friendships with people who they deem less than themselves for example
a faker will befriend someone who they deem to be
less attractive than them
to draw more attention from others fakers
have no boundaries and will become defensive
if you call them out on their malicious behavior
in the end befriending a faker is toxic and can
result in negative emotional turmoil
up to three types of bad friends mentioned
the unaware are the only people that you may want to
consider keeping as friends the users
and fakers however are emotionally toxic
relationships that need to be severed
severing a friendship can sometimes be arduous
and similar to a breakup severing a friendship
requires one to be direct if at all possible
try to meet face to face in a neutral location
use this as an opportunity to set
or reinforce boundaries with an unaware friend
so that you two can remain friends for your friend
that is either a user or a faker this is
your opportunity to let them know
that you no longer see them as a friend and that
this is the last time that you will be spending time together
you can tell them how you've been hurt by certain situations
but do not be surprised
if the user or the faker does not respond
sympathetically or with remorse building
a friendship is tough but maintaining a friendship is far
more difficult although being in a friendship
puts you in a vulnerable position sometimes being
in these positions teaches more about life and about ourselves
however if you are going to
take the chance of being vulnerable with another person
please make sure that that person respects and
reciprocates that vulnerability do you
recognize yourself or somebody you know as one of these types
let us know how you dealt with it in the comments below