This week the name of the game is Naming Names.
The lot of noble rot. Nearly, nearly not.
Night, night, neither, and no show.
A nebulous nosebag of non-sequiturs with knobs on.
Here is question 1.
Why do bees hum?
How do you get urine off a nun?
Which is the loneliest number?
Maybe two is the loneliest number, because it's next to the one that gets talked about the most.
I would make that entirely a correct answer if it wasn't so horribly wrong, no.
Three is the magic number.
I don't know, I've never tried, but so they say.
I thought you were going to be different.
Oh, I am different, but you haven't looked closely enough.
I've done a lot of things in showbusiness, I've always wanted to be in Midsomer Murders.
As a victim.
So the camera would pan round the rosebush and I'd be lying there with a trug and a pair of secateurs.
When they say, 'The police are quizzing the suspects', that's wrong, isn't it?
No, that's from 'inquisitive' and 'inquisition',
so that's a separate - You've got it, you're in the right chair.
Got a cold feeling there.
I just love hearing you just giving us giving us facts. There's a kind of erotic charge in the room.
I knew one day I'd turn - I'd never thought it'd be you, Gyles.
I have to just manipulate - this is a condom.
I say that because someone had to explain it to me earlier.
She was walking around with it on her head for ages.
Now, here's a really crab link.
Making it up as I go along.
Is anybody here a loud burper? That's the other thing that there's a record for.
Anybody do loud burping? No, I'd need some fizzy pop.
That's it, that sounded like a frog with asthma.
That's something I'd never thought I would see.
In my entire - If you start lighting your farts -
And now for a bit of a Danish Christmas parlour game.
I've got an amplifier, going into that is some traditional Danish
Christmas music.
Thank you very much. Is that exposed wiring, Helen? Yeah.
We have measured the current going through this,
and it's either so low that our meter can't read it, or our meter's broken.
So can I get you to hold that bare wire - so you've got bare wires there.
I love you, Mum.
My hair's already fallen out, but for you guys - who knows.
[Music plays]
So, I've got 99 problems, but the pence ain't one. Now.
Just, that's for the younger people.
Which wine would you purchase? On those prices, I mean, all of them.
Do you know they have wine stoppers? What's the point of that. What are they for?
Time for another parlour game: Are you there, Moriarty.
Are you there, Moriarty?
Yes!
It's really changed without Stephen, hasn't it?
Uncle Stephen would never have allowed this.
I wonder about the person who invented the birds called tits.
He's the same bloke, when you go 'chickens', he went,
'cock'
I don't know how you boys get there so quickly.
So much focus on something so undependable.
Oh yes, there's been a regime change.