-Hi. In this video, I'm going to share
how to turn a man on without touching him.
[music]
Hi, there, Mat Shaffer, your empowerment, connection and relationship coach.
I'm a former attorney who's committed his life to supporting you
in creating sort of fun, fulfilling, dynamic connections and relationships
with men that you are so worthy of.
I'm really excited about today's topic.
I'm going to share eight different ways that you can turn a man on
without touching him from a distance, so that when you two come together,
it can be absolutely electrifying.
I'm going to dig into it in just a second.
Before I do, take a second, hit that little Subscribe button,
and don't forget to click that link in the comments and caption.
I have created some amazing training that's going to make a huge difference
in your love life and relationships with men.
Before I share these tips to turn a man on without touching him,
I want you to understand a couple key principles.
The first one is, it turns men on to know the effect that they have on you.
Don't assume that men know that you're attracted to them
or that they know what's going on in your body and in your mind.
Men are not mind readers, and trust me when I say,
if you give them a window into how you're thinking
and how you're feeling, it is going to make a huge difference for them.
The more you give us a window of understanding into your body
and your mind and the way that we're impacting you
and lighting you up, the more that's going to turn us on.
The second principle I want to share with you is the power of future pacing.
This is a really fun technique where you,
through using specific phrases and methods,
can actually immerse a man and draw him into the experience
that you're looking forward to sharing with him later,
whatever that may be.
We're going to unpack that in the next few tips.
Just know that if you master future pacing and you use it effectively with your man,
he's going to actually start experiencing on his level the sort of feelings
and sensations that you're looking forward to sharing with him later.
His brain is going to release dopamine, that feel-good hormone,
and it is going to get him primed for what's to come.
The beautiful thing about future pacing is that you can use it over an unlimited
distance to really help prime a man up for when you two reconnect.
You can use these techniques that I'm going to be sharing with you
over text message and through any kind of remote platform
to really build anticipation and have a lot of fun.
The first way to do this is a future experience or feeling statement.
This is where you build excitement with a man by using a personal
feeling statement of something that you're looking forward
to experiencing with them later.
A great example of this would be,
"I can't wait to feel your lips on my neck tonight."
I can tell you, as a man, if I get a text like that
from a woman that I am dating or in a relationship with,
it will absolutely light up my entire body and put me into a totally new level
because then I start visualizing and thinking about how wonderful
it's going to feel to do that.
I'm going to respond, sharing something similar on my end.
Can you see how this would sort of create a back and forth dialogue
and dynamic where the two of you can build up
just a really powerful amount of a sexual attention
and really turn each other on, in a really deep way?
Remember, going back to that first principle I talked about,
men love knowing how their actions turn you on.
Men love being acknowledged for what they're doing.
That's a principle that I talk about a lot on this channel.
One of the greatest ways that you can acknowledge a man
for his actions is by letting them know how much they light you up.
The second way to use this principle is in a future action statement.
That's where you share something that you're looking forward
to doing to him or that you're looking forward for him to do to you.
An example of this would be,
"I'm going to enjoy pushing you up against the wall
as soon as you walk in the door tonight.
You're not even going to have a chance to take your jacket off."
This third one is a really good, it's called a present sensation statement.
This is where you describe a feeling or sensation you're having right now,
as you think about him or something that you two are going to be doing.
You could say something like, "It's sending tingles down my spine,
thinking about you and what we're going to be doing later."
You're actually putting him in the present understanding
of what you're experiencing right now.
This can be extremely hot for a guy,
and it's also going to elicit a similar sort of reaction from him.
He's probably going to share what he's feeling too,
which brings us to the fourth way to use this framework,
a present sensation question.
This is where you ask him, in a warm, inviting, sensual way,
what he's feeling and experiencing in the middle of this conversation.
Then you hold space for his response and then play off of it.
You would say something like,
"How does it make you feel to know what I want to do to you?"
Part of what's so cool about this is that you're actually getting him
to connect with his body and open up to you vulnerably
about what it is that he's feeling and experiencing.
It may be at the physical level,
but it is a type of vulnerability that a lot of times men
don't have a lot of experience discussing.
This really is you showing up as the conductor of the relationship,
getting him to speak to you in a more intimate manner
and building and deepening that connection between the two of you.
Another great way to get a man to drop into his sexuality or sensuality
and take the conversation in that direction
is through sexy questions.
These can look a lot of different ways.
One of the main ways is just through straight-up sexy questions,
like asking them that are personal to him, and see how he responds.
You could ask him,
"What are craziest places that you've had sex?
Have you ever got caught having sex in public?
How did that go down?
What are some things that you've always wanted to try in bed,
but you haven't yet? I'd really love to know."
Another fun type of sexy question is a hypothetical.
For example, you could say,
"If you could have sex with any celebrity, who would it be and why,
and what kind of sex would you like to have with them?"
A fun type of question within hypotheticals
is the "would you rather?" question.
You could ask him,
"Would you rather see me dressed up as a sexy librarian or a stripper?
Would you rather have sex only in bed
or only out of bed if you had to pick one?"
There are a million "would you rather?" questions that are out there
that you're welcome to look up or come up with your own,
and they're a really fun way to sort of get a man to open up and start thinking
and talking about sex in a really fun,
sort of playful way that's going to build that connection with him
and just get his motor running.
Just remember that the key to asking a man questions about sex
is to always show up soft and warm and inviting and curious.
He needs to know that when you're asking him
these questions, that this is a safe space,
that you are not doing an inquisition on him because you're trying to get
blackmail and that he can talk about sex,
especially sex with previous partners, without you taking it personally.
You want to make sure that you have created that level of trust with him,
or else he might not give you a full and open response.
Now that you've learned some powerful ways to future pace and prime a man
from a distance, I want to give you another principle
that's going to help you be even more effective in using these techniques.
That is the power of multimedia, when it comes to messages.
Do not keep things relegated to your thumbs.
You don't just want to type him out text.
By using pictures and videos and different types of recordings,
you can take the experience of turning a man on from a distance
to a completely new level.
One of the biggest, and I think least appreciated ways
to do this is through voice texts.
Voice texts are so powerful because your voice
to a man that you are seeing, to a man that you are dating is so activating.
Literally, any of the techniques that we just talked about,
any of those future pacing techniques can be done through voice memo
or voice text, and it'll have a completely different level of response
from the man that you're connecting with.
I'm not making this up.
A study has shown that a woman's voice can actually create electrical signals
on a man's skin and physically make him tingle.
That is the power that you have.
Leverage the power of your voice,
and don't be afraid to send a man any of these texts or any texts
that you can come up with as a voice memo, instead of just a text message.
It allows him to feel the energy and the sensuality behind your words,
and create a much more intimate connection with you.
Just know that exchanging flirty or sexy voice memos
is a really powerful way to build sexual connection,
create deeper intimacy, build tension,
and take your back and forth dialogue to a completely different level,
and really make him very, very, very turned on.
Now, from iPhone to iPhone, this is very easy.
You just hit the little microphone button next to the type-in bar.
With Android, you may need to download an app.
Be sure to look into that, but it is possible on any phone.
Another powerful way to use multimedia messaging
is through a suggestive tease picture or video.
Disclaimer, before we start this,
I do not mean a nude or a naked picture.
I'm not saying you can't do that.
Trust me when I say,
that we'll definitely tournament on from a distance.
Remember, what I'm working with you to do here is to build tension with him.
You want to do that with pacing.
You do not want to just give him something that turns him on so much
that he's in pain the rest of the day and can't focus on his work,
or he has to go to the bathroom and manage himself.
We don't want to turn him on that much.
We want to build the pressure throughout the day,
so suggestive or teasing pictures and videos are going to be
much more effective at doing that.
This could look like you sending him a picture of you gripping the hem
of your skirt and sending a little message with it
of how hard it is to concentrate on your work,
or a video of you sort of squirming in your seat a little bit
and just letting him know that you're a little fidgety
because you can't stop thinking about him.
Another great way to use teasing video is to send him a short little clip
of you staring seductively at the camera
while you're biting your bottom lip a little bit.
With that, you don't even need to send him a message or anything along with it.
He's going to know what it is that you're saying.
One last powerful way to turn a man on at a distance is through sexy
or funny memes and images.
Do not underestimate how powerful this is.
Of course, there's always the first way,
which is to send him a straight-ahead sexy meme or a sexy picture.
You could send him a Fifty Shades of Grey-style meme
or just a picture of a pair of velvet handcuffs draped over a bedpost.
That's sending a very clear message that he is definitely going to understand.
Another great way to use this is to actually send him
a personalized meme or image that you created yourself,
that's sort of cute and sexy and suggestive.
You could make a meme of a koala hanging off a tree and say,
"I can't wait to be hanging off of you like this later."
Just so you know, it is not hard to make a meme.
There are hundreds of meme-generating websites
on the internet with lots of cute, sexy pictures of koalas,
or sloths, or really any meme
that you could take and make it a little sexy,
make it a little flirty.
It's not hard to do, and it can actually be little fun to get creative with him,
and then invite him to send you something back,
because when you do things like this, when you connect with a man in a cute,
sort of playful, sexy way, you're activating his play drive,
you're inviting him to be creative and be playful with you,
which is going to make him soften up
and drop in and feel more connected to you.
Ladies, if you can remember these three principles
and these eight processes, you're going to be able to effortlessly
turn on a man no matter how far apart you may be.
Remember those two first principles.
It turns a man on to know the impact
that his actions have on the way that you feel,
so anytime you want to give him a window into the way
that he makes your mind or body respond,
you are going to hit a big button with him.
The second principle is the power of future pacing,
which is going to cause him to release dopamine and start having the experience,
physically and hormonally,
that you two are going to be sharing later.
That is a superpower that you have,
which is what these first four or five tips are all about.
Let's review what those are.
The first is the future experience or feeling statement,
"I can't wait to feel blank later." The second is the future action statement,
"I'm really looking forward to doing this to you later
or having you do this to me later."
The third is the present sensation statement,
"It's sending a shiver down my spine thinking about you right now."
That's like a lightning bolt to a guy.
The fourth is the present sensation question,
so asking him,
"How is it making you feel to hear what I want to do to you later?"
That's a real gateway into vulnerability and intimacy
and creating some real powerful sexual tension with him.
Don't forget that third principle, ladies,
that multimedia messages are so powerful.
One of the easiest and most overlooked ways to do this is with voice memos.
Your voice actually activates a man,
and if you can use these future pacing principles or any type of sexy message
and do it through a voice memo,
you're going to take it up to a completely different level.
Another way to use multimedia messages is through a suggestive
teasing picture or video.
Remember, not a nude,
[chuckles]
but just a shy,
sexy glance with you chewing on the end of a pen,
or twirling your hair,
or even gripping the hem of your skirt a little bit,
or squirming in your seat, that is going to put him on cloud nine.
Last, but definitely not least, we've got memes and pictures,
and these can look a couple of different ways, right?
We've got our straight-ahead, sexy and flirtatious memes or pictures.
You could send a meme of a pair of velvet handcuffs that says,
"What are you doing later, sexy?"
That's very clear-cut, and it lets him know
what your intention is and what's on your mind.
The second type of meme or picture would be the cute and sexy one,
for example, a sloth hanging over a branch and you saying,
"Oh, I can't wait to be hanging off of you like that in a few hours."
You can make either kinds of these memes yourself
using meme generators that are easy to find all over the internet.
In conclusion, ladies, it doesn't have to be hard,
or frustrating, or confusing to turn a man on.
It can be simple and as easy as making an invitation for him to play with you
and giving him a window into what you're thinking
and how you're feeling and how who he is
and what he's about turns you and lights you up,
so get out there and have fun, but before you do,
take a second, hit that little Subscribe button,
and don't forget to click that link in the comments and caption.
I have created some great training,
that's going to make a huge difference
in your connections and relationships with men.
Thanks so much for stopping by, and I'll see you next time.
Bye-bye.