- Here are five things you probably need to hear.
Number one,
not everything that happens to you is your fault,
but everything that happens to you is your responsibility.
Right after that you might think to yourself
everything is my responsibility.
How is everything that happens to me my responsibility?
I can't possibly account for every little thing
that life throws my way, the chaos, the triumph
and if something goes wrong, which it inevitably will.
Am I supposed to blame myself?
Because I was responsible
for having that thing not go wrong.
That's not really what I'm getting at here,
because for most of us,
our domain of influence is fairly small.
We usually go to similar places,
we see similar people,
we do similar activities as we do most days.
And occasionally we step outside the norm
and we experience new people, places and things
to freshen things up.
And along the way,
we'll be put in situations that we don't like,
situations that make us feel uncomfortable or angry.
We'll talk to people that we think are idiots.
And occasionally we'll be blindsided
by tragedy or misfortune.
I don't have to tell you what life is like.
Life is spicy, but if it is in our life,
it is our responsibility to figure out
what we're going to do about it.
Because who else's responsibility is it?
Who else is responsible for your physical fitness,
your mental health, your social life?
Who else is responsible for the types of people
that you're inviting into your life?
The type of reaction that you have
when something doesn't go your way.
When you break it down like this,
it's really hard to think of anything
that's not your responsibility.
Anything that you would realistically do,
interact with, experience.
Aren't you tired of delegating the responsibility
of your own flourishing onto other people?
It's probably time that you have some confidence
in your ability to make decisions for yourself.
To assume responsibility over the outcomes of your life,
regardless of whose fault it may be.
Because at the end of the day, it affects you.
So what are you gonna do about it?
Number two, life gets easier when you're on your own side.
If you love yourself first and treat yourself with respect
you'll have more love to give.
When you dislike yourself and treat yourself poorly,
then you'll start to subliminally
feel unlikable and worthless.
And if this is your default mode of being,
if you continue to treat yourself poorly,
if you don't like yourself very much,
then every single interaction that you have
with every single person in your life will be tainted
with the need to solve this inherent problem.
Because we need to feel loved and accepted.
And if you starve yourself of your own approval
off the get go,
then every interaction that we have with people
will be trying to gain that approval back.
You'll start to rely heavily on other people
to make you feel validated and worth something.
And if you do this long enough
you'll start to lean on this external validation
like a crutch, addicted to compliments,
constantly searching for validation and approval.
You'll start to wear clothes that you don't necessarily like
but you think you're gonna get a lot of compliments on it.
You think you're being kind of bold and brash by wearing it.
And when you don't get that attention
that you so desperately require,
you'll start to build resentment.
You'll start to feel butt hurt.
You'll be kind of passive aggressive for no reason
because they owe you something, right?
Every interaction that you have is an exchange,
you're nice to people,
you compliment people,
just so that you can be complimented back.
And if people treat you poorly,
holy smokes, that ruins your day.
Because when a person doesn't just not
return your compliment
but they're rude to you,
they become public enemy number one.
Because you've conditioned yourself
to place your entire sense of self-worth
in the hands of other people.
But at the end of the day,
what you think other people owe you, you owe to yourself.
If you start treating yourself like somebody
that you genuinely care about and want the best for,
if you start acting as if you're on your own side
then it will change every single aspect of your life.
It will change the way you walk into a room.
It will change the way that you interact with other people.
It will change the clothes that you wear,
the way that you speak,
and every decision that you make.
when you treat yourself with respect and you love yourself
then you will actually be able to give compliments
without expecting any in return.
You will actually have the ability to be generous
with your time, with your attention, with your resources
because you genuinely want to,
it comes from a place of abundance.
Treating yourself with respect, just as a ridiculous ROI.
Number three, nobody owes you anything.
You are not entitled to any job position,
any lifestyle, any relationship.
Just because you have big muscles and workout
doesn't mean you're entitled to a hot girlfriend.
Maybe your personality is the equivalent
of a wet sock or a dirty diaper.
Just because you have a business degree
from a Community College,
doesn't mean that you're entitled
to be on the board of directors.
Even if your business degree is from Harvard
or some other prestigious school,
you're still not entitled to anything.
The type of person who walks around
like the world owes them something,
usually comes from a place of lack.
And they're usually very ungrateful
when they get the thing that they think they deserve.
And they're white-hot and vengeful when they don't get it.
The type of person who thinks this way
usually has a giant ego.
They have an idea of themselves
that is disconnected from reality in some way.
They probably have some delusion of grandeur
where they want to appear on the surface
that they're better than they actually are.
But as I've covered in previous videos, ego is brutal.
It distorts you from the truth,
it stunts growth,
ego is far more concerned with being somebody
rather than doing something.
And if you followed step two
and started treating yourself like somebody
you're responsible for helping,
which is kind of a direct quote from Jordan Peterson,
then you wouldn't require others
to give you things to make you feel whole.
You'll start to want certain positions
because of a genuine confidence that you could add value.
So instead of chasing status, work on developing competence,
focus on the craft, not the corner office.
Because 99 times out of a hundred,
your work will speak for itself.
Number four, communism has failed every time it was tried.
Number five, it's going to be okay.
I don't know what you're going through right now.
You could be having a very great time in life.
It could be, you know probably the best time
that you've ever had.
You might feel energetic and optimistic
and like everywhere you go,
there's a song singing behind you,
a song singing behind you,
there's a background track,
cinematic score elevating all of your steps,
butterflies everywhere.
But for a lot of people, I know that's indeed not the case.
I get the feeling that there's a lot of people
watching the video that are in a very rough place.
Maybe they're going through something
that is just like incomprehensibly, tragic, you know.
Life has a habit of doing that to a lot of people.
I know it's hard to think about,
it's hard to imagine that things could be better for you.
And sometimes it's not better for a little while
but life's kinda weird
because it seems like every dark period that I've ever had
in my life has always turned into a period
where I looked back and I never regretted the dark period.
Like there was always so much to learn
in those periods of darkness.
So much to learn about yourself, about other people.
And sometimes those realizations about other people
are that people can be pretty terrible. (laughs)
But I think that if you have compassion for yourself,
if you have compassion for others,
if you realize that at the end of the day
you're still responsible for your own happiness,
regardless of whose fault
your current happiness levels might be.
You're still responsible for making something of it
and there is always something to be made from it.
As long as you're voluntarily willing
to confront whatever your situation is in
with humility and perseverance,
something good always comes from it
and that's been my experience.
The only time something good doesn't come from it
is if you bury your head in the sand and give up.
But even then,
I feel like we're given countless second chances in life.
So if you are currently burying your head in the sand,
consider taking your head out of the sand,
looking around dusting yourself off
and getting back on the grind.
Because at the end of the day,
if you are willing to stick with it,
things will be okay, they always will be okay.
Even if you're not okay, that's okay too.
It's gonna be okay.
I just want to give a big thank you to Audible
for sponsoring this video.
Guys, I really want to recommend an audio book
and that audio book is
"Make Your Bed" by William H. McRaven.
The book was written by a retired U.S. Navy Admiral
and it really helps shift your mindset
into assuming responsibility over the outcomes of your life.
So I really recommend the read.
It's super short and you could bang it out in one day
very easily as you're cleaning your house.
And for those of you who don't know about Audible,
it is the leading provider of spoken word entertainment
and audiobooks all in one place.
If you're even remotely interested in self-improvement,
that's just a wild guess that you are,
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Just click the link,
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So yeah, take advantage of that link
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Thanks again to Audible for sponsoring this video.
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and you said this was a good video
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I appreciate you,
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