Hi, in this video I'm going to share how to make a man your hero.
Hi there, Mat Shaffer, your empowerment connection and
relationship coach. I'm a former attorney who's committed his
life to supporting you and creating the sort of fun
fulfilling dynamic connections and relationships with men that
you are so worthy of. And I'm so excited to talk to you about
this topic. I'm going to share with you eight different ways
that you can inspire a man to be the hero not just in your life,
but in his own life as well. You have incredible power to do
that. And we're going to dig into it in just a second.
But before we do, if you haven't already, take a second hit that
little subscribe button and don't forget to click that link
in the comments and caption, I have created some great training
that's going to make a huge difference in your connections
and relationships with men. And before we get into How To Make a
Man Your Hero, let's look at what does it mean for a man to
be in his hero space or his hero self to begin with.
First and foremost a man who is operating as a hero
in his own world, he is grounded in his sense of self. He knows
who he is. He knows what his gifts and powers are. And he's
using them to full effect out there in the world. He's
pursuing his passion in a big way. He's out there going for
it, living his life with purpose. And thirdly, and most
importantly, he has a big vision for his life that drives him and
motivates him, and that he's moving towards on a regular
basis. And you may be encountering some big obstacles
in his pursuit of that, but he's taking them on every day. So now
I have a question for you. Does this sound like the man that
you're in relationship or the men that you've dated in the
past or not? Because here's the thing, if this is someone where
you're like, "I've never dated anybody who's like that!".
Actually, yes, you have, because every man, no matter where
they're at in their life, or what stage of their life that
they're in, they have a hero within them. A hero
waiting to be activated. And you a lot of times can be the one to
activate it for them. Because you as a woman, you have a very
special role in a man's life. You are the inspirer. You are the
invoker for him. You are the Muse that can help a man step into
his role as a hero in his life. Now I'm going to share eight
important ways that you can help a man step into his hero role.
Are you ready? Let's go. First off, if he doesn't have a
vision, start asking powerful questions. A lot of times men
lack vision in their lives, because they just don't have
clarity, right? They don't have clarity around who they are, or
about what they really want to create in the world. For
example, you could ask him, what would you love to do if money
didn't matter? That's a question that's especially good
if he hates his job or hates his career. Which for me, as a
former lawyer, I completely and deeply understand that.
And another fun question to ask is, what would your life look like
in five years?
If everything unfolded perfectly and get him to really drop in his
imagination and play with him in that space, right? Like, what
would it look like? What would it feel like? What would every
aspect of your life? What car would you be driving? What work
would you be doing? Play that game with him getting to
look like. Get him to look at maybe for the first time in his life?
Wow, what would my life look like maybe five years or seven
years down the road, if just everything I wanted, came to
pass? And another great question to ask is, what lights you up?
What are your passions? What are you excited about right now? And
from there from that basis point where he starts speaking into
his feelings of what he's excited about what his passions
are, what he's passionate about, you can start asking him like,
Well, so what would this look like - you know, if you were to
take what you're passionate about, and turn it into a larger
purpose in your life, how could you help the world sometimes all
it takes for a man to really step into his vision in his life
is for him to have a woman
Who's asking him these questions to help him dig deeper and
really introspect and reflect, because men, by their very
nature aren't necessarily very good at that. And another way to
help him and be a hero is to acknowledge and support his
vision for his life, if he does have one, even if you don't
understand it. Okay, this is such an important point.
Because men if they do have a vision, it's something that they
hold near and dear to their heart. Like maybe their vision
is to create a business, right? That leaves a legacy for
generations and their family. And just because maybe you don't
understand his business, you can get behind and support his
passion for what it is that he wants to create, you know, he
might have a very complicated business in a in a niche or a
field that you don't understand at all. But that doesn't matter,
right? All you want to do is support him and acknowledge him
for how hard he works and for everything he's pouring into
that business because likely, it's a hugely central part of
his life, and he doesn't
need you to understand all the logistics, he just needs to feel
from you that you are acknowledging, and really
letting him know that this is something that you celebrate,
and that you support him in his pursuit of it. Remember, ladies,
the masculine loves to be recognized and acknowledged for
what it's creating in the world by the feminine, and nowhere is
this more important than in the pursuit of their dreams. And a
third important way to help a man step into his hero essence
is to not be threatened by his pursuit of his vision. And more
so than anything, ladies, don't try to come between him and his
hero's quest are what it is that he's trying to create. Okay? You
are not trying to be this man's purpose. You want to be his
partner in his pursuit of it. Do you know what I'm saying? I know
a lot of you are having dreams or fantasies right about being
the center of a man's world. And I understand the importance of
being a priority in a man's life because
Here's the thing, you don't want to be his purpose. You want him
to have a purpose and a vision for his life bigger than you.
And you want to be a partner in his pursuit of it right and him
building his empire, you want him to be the king and you to be
his queen, right? And for you to build something beautiful
together, right? But you don't want him to make you that sole
thing that he's moving towards in his life. Because
realistically, that isn't healthy. Does that make sense?
So don't feel threatened by a man, if he's got a business or a
vision or a legacy for what he wants to leave in the world.
That's huge, right? You get to trust that he's going to be able
to integrate you into his life and into his pursuit of that and
just recognize that if you try to come between him and what it
is that he is working to create and pouring his whole life into,
he's gonna start seeing you as a threat to his growth and his
pursuit of his vision and his life. And then you're not going
to be helping him become the hero that he's craving to be.
Right? You're actually going to be someone trying to keep him
from that, it'll probably end up taking you out of his life.
Remember, ladies, men are like bread, they need space to rise.
And this is especially true when it comes to a man's pursuit of
his purpose, or his vision, or the whatever quest he is on in
his life. Remember, men are single focus, we're not good at
thinking about a lot of different things at the same
time. So when a man is locked into his pursuit of his life's
work, you want to be giving him the space to actually get after
it, right? You don't want to be coming between it or distracting
him from it. And I've got a three step process to help you
determine and give a man the space he needs. The first thing
is for you to acknowledge and recognize that he is in work
mode, right? So whatever it is that he's getting after in his
life, right? You want to just acknowledge Hey, so I see that
you're really pouring a lot of time and attention into your
business into whatever it is that you're building. I
completely see that and I'm kidding.
curious, what do you need for me? How much space Do you need
for me because I want to make sure to honor and give you what
it is that you need to create what it is that I can see,
you're so passionate about creating. So how can I support
you? And how much space Do you need for me, and then once he
tells you how much space he needs, ladies, then comes the
most important part is you get to give him that space and trust
him with that space. Okay, so give him that distance, whatever
it is that he needs to build what it is that he is committed
to building in the world. Just sit back and give him that space
and then come back to him and ask him how did it go. And this
is going to require a great degree of trust, right, trusting
him to pursue that with you watching at a distance, trusting
yourself and your own value enough to recognize that he's
going to come back. But trust me when I say that it is a huge
demonstration of value from you to give him that space and be
comfortable in giving it to him.
And this next tip is so important. If you want a man to
feel like a hero, and that you're on his hero's quest with
him, you want to always come to him from a space and an energy
of partnership, not an energy of mothering, or smothering or
trying to control or hold him small, which is what a lot of
women do when they're angry, or they're feeling threatened, or
they're triggered by a man. So especially when you got to have
a confrontation with him right over something, maybe he's done,
that you don't like, or something he's not doing for you
that you need. You have every right to own your voice and ask
for what it is that you want, and to speak to him about what
it is that he's doing that you don't agree with. But you want
to be really careful about the energy that you're bringing to
that conversation. You want to always come to him from a
grounded space of partnership. That you are here to be there in
this situation with him and help figure out a solution with him.
Rather than coming over the top and just being
angry and hitting him over the head with whatever it is that
you're talking about.
And another great way to make a man step into his hero essence
is to really allow him and let him lead. Let him lead the way
in your dating and in your relationship and allow him to
make mistakes. Heroes need to be trusted to lead the way to blaze
the path and to mess up. You don't want to be protecting him
from himself because again, that is something that a mother would
do. And you do not want to step into the maternal role. A hero
is not relying upon his mother to shield him from the bumps and
bruises of life, okay? You want to be his partner trusting him
and allowing him to forge a new path and you're with him on that
path wherever it leads. And one of the most powerful ways to
really make a man feel like you are on his hero's quest with him
and you see him as that hero in his life. Is to celebrate his
victories and soothe his
defeats as he goes after his life's purpose. This is so
important. Like I said earlier, the masculine is craving
acknowledgement from the feminine for what he's doing and
creating in the world. And this is so so so important when he's
out there slaying his dragons, right, that you're right there
with him cheering him on being his biggest cheerleaders. And
when he returns from his quest, whether it be his day at work,
or his trip across the country, or maybe just like a visit to
his mother, right? That you're there, and you're there celebrating
him. And if he's had a tough day, and if he got his butt
kicked, right? In whatever it is that he's up to in the world,
that you're there to soothe him and nurture him and really help
heal him from that process. That is how you establish that
partnership, and you really help him feel supported and empowered
to get up, put his armor back on the next day and get back out
there. That's one of the most powerful roles you have in the
life of a man, a man who's out there being a hero in his
World is you get to be His sanctuary. When he returns from
battle, you get to be his safe space for him to put down his
armor and be vulnerable and connect with you. Right. So this
all goes back to partnership, you truly are in this together,
right? His wins are your wins, his losses are your losses, and
you too are a team. This will really strengthen the love
connection that you two have together and create loyalty and
devotion on his side. So be sure to do this. And lastly, ladies,
if you want a man to step into his role as a hero, both out in
the world and with you make your relationship a quest for him as
well. Right set boundaries and set the tempo for him. Make
challenges along the way for him. Make him earn the right to
be the man in your life. Right? Like hold your frame with him.
These are all things that create high value in the eyes of men
and men love to work for things. Like we love
to earn the things in our life, and if you want him to have that
deep, abiding love for you, and that passion and see you as
another incredible conquest in his in his role and as a hero
and having a hero's journey. Then be that quest for him as
well be a challenge that he's excited and inspired to get up
and go after every day. So if you're able to use these eight
tips in your connections and relationships with men, you are
going to be able to activate that hero that's lying dormant
within them. And if they're already in their hero's quest,
you're going to really help bond yourself to them and empower
them to go even further with it. So remember, if he doesn't have
a vision, start by asking powerful questions that get him
to self reflect and look at what would His perfect life look like
in five years? What is he passionate about? What lights
him up? And what would he be doing in this world if he didn't
need the money. And if he's got a vision acknowledged
support it. Even if you don't understand it, a man wants to
feel that from you. He wants to feel seen and supported for his
vision, even if it's something that is way outside of your
field of interest. And don't allow yourself to feel
threatened by his vision, or trying to come between him and
what it is that he's creating in the world, you will not win that
fight. Remember, being the center of his universe may seem
nice on paper, but realistically, it isn't what you
want and give him space to pursue his vision. Ask him how
much space he needs, and then honor and trust fully respect
whatever space he needs to create what it is that he's
creating in the world. And do your best to always come to him
for discussions, especially confrontive conversations with
an energy of feminine partnership, not mothering or
smothering or fearful. That is going to empower him to drop in
and be vulnerable with you and see you as his partner on his
hero's quest.
Remember to let him lead the way and if he's going to make a
mistake, let him make it. Don't try to over protect him.
Remember, that's what his mom does. And remember, like any
good partner, you want to celebrate his victories and
soothe his defeats when he comes off the battlefield. Remember,
y'all are in this together. And you're right there with him. His
wins are your wins, and his losses are your losses. And
lastly, make your relationship a quest for him as well. Hold your
frame, make it a challenge, right? Don't just yield to him
every step of the way. Make him earn the right to have you in
his life that will raise your value in his eyes. And it's
something that men deeply appreciate. And I say this from
the bottom of my heart, ladies. Sometimes all a man needs to
step into his power and really embrace his role as a hero is
the love and belief of a good woman who sets that bar and asks
him to rise to
To earn her love, so do not discount the incredible
inspiring role you can play in the elevation of a man within his life.
So get out there and inspire the man in your life to
be the hero he was born to be. You can do it, but before you
do, take a second and hit that little subscribe button and
don't forget to click that link in the comments in caption, I
have created some great training that's gonna make a huge
difference in your connections and relationships with men.
Thanks so much for stopping by and I'll see you in my next
video. Bye