hey guys it's practical psychology and today I am joined by Trident lion to
give you some tips on how to care less about what other people think of you so
I've been reading the comments and I know this is a common problem for a lot
of people so I really hope this helps what's up Internet my name is Trident
lion and I'm here to help you along side with practical psychology effectively
care less about others think recently I read the book the subtle art of not
giving a fuck by Mark Manson the idea is not to give a fuck about nothing but
instead it's about realizing that life is short and there is way too many
things in this life to give a fuck about it's important to selectively choose
what you want to give a fuck about choose to give a fuck about what is true
immediate and important for you let's say your current goals in life are to
get good grades maintain relationship maybe exercising daily if those are your
priorities treat them as priorities it's caring about what others think going to
help you reach those goals nope focusing on what others may be thinking of you
only distracts you and it takes you away from your goals and priorities it's easy
to get sucked into gossip and caught up in caring what other people think when
you don't have your goals and priorities set in life so another way to care less
about what other people think is to establish what your priorities and goals
actually are so tip 1 is to clearly know your goals and understand that most of
the time what someone cares about isn't really going to affect them once you
have established what your priorities and goals are establish a more valuable
perspective with regards to the thoughts others have about you is the opinions
and thoughts of others going to help you achieve your goals and maintain focus on
your priorities probably not so make the choice to care less about what others
think there is no real value for you in stressing out and or concerning yourself
with the opinions of others also take into consideration that the opinions of
others is their business not yours so be honest with yourself and try to identify
what is causing you to care what others think about you are you seeking approval
you have insecurities that you need to confront for me one time I was at the
gym lifting alone I was bench pressing I think it was 155 pounds if you must know
I was on my last set my last rep of 12 and I could not get the bar back up
it was stuck so I let it rest on my chest for a little bit while my arms
rested and I tried to push it up again nope then I thought about maybe well I
could roll it but I've done that before with 105
pounds and it was really painful on my hips so instead I looked over at the gym
it was basically empty and I let out a DPL Hey
so hopefully the guy's standing in the corner hitting on the only girl in the
gym would hear me well he did he came over and helped me get the bar back up I
was actually really embarrassed I didn't come back to the gym for like a whole
month for me I was insecure that I would see that guy again and he would make fun
of me it was quite unrealistic and in fact we all go to the gym for usually
one goal anyways so I decided I couldn't keep growing using my own weights that I
had in my house and I needed to get back into the gym and I also decided that it
was really silly not to go back to the gym just because of him and once
identified this thought process I started lifting again if you are feeling
insecure about something in your life realize that no one is perfect be okay
with your flaws accept them as a part of you we all have strengths and weaknesses
so rather than avoid them I think we can agree it would be best to understand
them by you doing things as a means to satisfy what others think of you you
would be doing yourself and others an injustice I think this is because you
would not be living up to your true potential as Trident lion said we are
all not perfect we all have flaws in the book Trident lion mentioned which is
also in the description the author mark Manson mentions the backwards law now
the backwards law is a philosophical concept described by philosopher Alan
Watts it basically says wanting a positive experience is a negative
experience and accepting a negative experience is a positive experience so
this concept works because there are things in our control and things not in
our control that we can't control the thoughts of others so there is no value
or since and actually caring about it when you want a positive experience you
are actually reinforcing the idea of the lack of that in your life so you're
having a bad day because something you want didn't happen so use this backwards
law to help you care less about what other people think when you don't care
about what happened and you accept it as okay that is a positive experience
others have thoughts about you so what others may think negative things about
you you have to accept it and move on because there's no value in you
suffering about what goes on in the thoughts of another person plus people
care more about themselves than they do about others in life weeks
variants suffering states and beautiful states we're all emotional creatures we
can transfer these emotional states to each other even our perspectives and
thoughts of others will be shifted based on what emotional state we are
experiencing in that specific moment so if someone does think badly of you
realize that they probably feel badly about themselves as well don't take on
others suffering States instead inspire those that may be trying to put you down
not through your words but through your actions and by making the choice to not
succumb to their suffering States an unfortunate reality is that there are
people in this world that would rather see you fail or live an unfulfilled life
of mediocrity than to see you succeed sometimes it is even the people that are
closest to us our friends and family so don't let anyone's opinions or thoughts
hold you back from your true potential it's like what Zig Ziglar had said if
you don't have a plan you will become a part of someone else's plan and what do
they have planned for you not much view those individuals that are not your fans
for who they are not your fans they are people that are supporting and cheering
for your failure use this reality as a way to motivate yourself go out and
prove them wrong negative opinions and criticism can be perceived as a
challenge that result in positive change adversity and challenges help you grow
stronger so embrace it also learn to just say no just like how it's important
to say no to activities and people that take away from your goals and priorities
it's also important to say no to yourself so don't allow others opinions
of you to affect your day mood and thoughts negatively no I'm not going to
allow how Katie looks down on shorter hair affect my decision to get a haircut
no I'm not going to allow that bad experience change my mood just because
someone was grumpy to me I have control over my emotions I own them so the
bigger question for you is what are you going to do now are you going to
continue this unvalued well haven't of caring about what others think or are we
going to make a change like I said earlier there is just way too many
things in this life to give a fuck about so instead of giving a fuck about so
much choose to only give a fuck about what is true immediate and important
think about this Tony Robbins quote regarding change change is inevitable
progress is optional I really enjoyed this collaboration with
Trident lion and I learned a lot he's a really cool guy and his channel is
quickly improving check him out if you want to learn more about what he's
teaching in the cool animations on his channel hope you guys enjoyed