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Prison.
Home of melancholic harmonica playing, stripy suits, and nearly 1% of the US population.
Oh whoops, that one wasn’t funny.
Prisons have been around since basically the beginning of recorded history, starting with
the ancient Mesopotamians in 3,200 BC.
But for most of history, prison wasn’t really used as punishment—it was just a chill out
zone where you would keep people while they either waited for trial or waited to be punished
in some other way, like execution, banishment, or watching 13-minute videos about logistics.
It wasn’t until 19th century England that prison sentences were used as a standard form
of punishment, and although punitive prisons have become common across the world, every
country still does things a little differently.
For example, prisons in Brazil will let inmates reduce their sentence by four days for every
book they read and write a report on; in China, rich people often hire body doubles to go
to prison in their place; and what started as a British prison now has the third-best
kayaking team in the world.
No matter where you go to prison, though, the main idea is the same: you’re not supposed
to leave.
But, depending on where you are, the consequences for leaving are vastly different.
In the United States, if you escape from prison, you could be facing as many as 10 additional
years behind bars, depending on what jurisdiction you’re in and your prior criminal record.
But here, in Germany, escaping from prison is totally, 100% legal.
That’s right—no matter how many schnitzel you’ve stolen or bratwursts you’ve burgled,
you cannot be punished for breaking out of a German jail.
You see, all the way back to the 1880s, the legislature of what was then the German Empire—the
Reichstag—decreed that all people have the right to seek self-liberation and therefore
should not be punished for escaping prison.
Today, over 130 years later, that law is still in effect.
And it’s not just Germany.
Austria, Belgium, and Mexico all have laws saying you can’t be punished for a prison
break.
The basic reasoning is that there’s a difference between the right to have freedom, and the
right to seek freedom.
Kind of like how this video has the right to try to be funny, but it doesn’t have
the right to actually be funny.
When you commit a crime, you forfeit your right to have freedom, which is why the government
can lock you up.
But these countries believe that people always have the right to seek freedom.
As a Mexican Supreme Court judge put it, "The basic desire for freedom is implicit inside
every man, so trying to escape cannot be considered a crime."
There are, however, a few caveats.
If, after your escape, the police find you, you can still be sent back to prison.
Escaping doesn’t mean your sentence goes away, it just means they can’t add on any
extra time for the escape.
Plus, even though escaping isn’t against the law, it’s still against prison rules,
so even though you can’t get extra jail time, you’re less likely to get approved
for parole.
And if you commit any other crimes in the process of escaping, you’re still on the
hook for those.
If you bribe a guard, that’s still bribery.
If you have to steal a getaway car, that’s still theft.
If you break the bars of your cell, that’s still destruction of property.
And if you leave a mean YouTube comment under a video that was made by a really nice guy
who’s just trying his best, well, that’s not illegal, but it still hurts my, I mean…
that guy’s feelings.
But despite how difficult it is, a legal prison escape can be done.
If you don’t believe me, just ask this man: American businessman Joel Kaplan, who in 1971
escaped from a Mexican prison without breaking a single law.
Kaplan’s escape was carefully planned in order to avoid committing any crimes.
It was carried out while the guards were watching a movie, so he didn’t have to bribe or assault
anyone.
The helicopter that picked him up had been bought in full, instead of leased, so he couldn’t
be accused of misusing rented property.
Kaplan then boarded a private, single-engine Cessna plane, again bought in full and complete
with the required identifying numbers, on which he flew to California, following a flight
plan that had been submitted to and approved by the FAA.
After landing, Kaplan presented himself to customs with his real name, avoiding charges
of entering a country illegally, and was granted entry as word had not yet reached anyone that
he was missing.
Kaplan laid low for a while, and neither the FBI or Mexican government showed much interest
in finding him, so he never returned to carry out his sentence.
While he was laying low, though, he probably had a lot of free time—time he could have
used on getting edumacated if it wasn’t 1971.
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