- [Orange] Fruit-lovers, I'll get right to the point.
Knife is my co-host on today's episode of "How 2!"
- [Knife] (laughs) Yes, it's slice
to finally be here, Orange.
I'm extremely excited because today
we're showing the audience "How 2" eat an orange. (cackles)
(record scratches)
Wait, why aren't you scared?
- [Orange] Me?
- [Knife] Yes, you.
Nothing bothers you about today's video?
- [[Orange] Not really.
I mean it is a little off-putting
to see you with a wooden handle, but--
- [Knife] Ignore my handle, I'm trying something new.
- [Orange] Oh no, are you having
a mid-knife crisis? (laughs)
- [Knife] Ugh, Orange, you're not bothered by today's topic?
The topic of "How 2 Eat an Orange"?
- [Orange] Nah, sounds fun.
- [Knife] Well, I must say I agree.
Shall we begin?
- [Orange] Step One, wash the orange
- [Knife] I guess that is a good place to start.
I mean, you should rinse off the fruit
before putting it in your mouth.
- [Orange] Yep, so give it a nice long soak.
(water splashing)
Maybe some bubbles?
Ooh and a bath bomb.
Oh, that's nice.
Candles would be nice too.
- [Knife] Ugh, why do I feel like
you might be enjoying this a bit too much?
- [Orange] What?
I deserve it.
It's my last day alive, remember?
- [Knife] (sighs) That is true.
Still, I'd like to cut straight to Step Two. (cackles)
- [Orange] Step Two, massage the orange for a while.
(record scratches)
- [Knife] Excuse me?
- [Orange] You heard me, gimme a massage.
It loosens up my skin, that way it peels off more easily.
- [Knife] Oh, well that's a good point. (whistles off)
Get over here and give this orange a massage right now.
- [Orange] (giggles) Yeah, and some oil would be nice.
Get way in there.
Oh yeah, that's nice.
- [Knife] All right, I believe it's time for Step Three.
- [Orange] Whatever you say, Knifey.
Step Three, after you're done massaging the orange,
give it a couple compliments.
Maybe a couple bucks, too.
(record scratches)
- [Knife] Okay, now you're just being ridiculous.
- [Orange] Is it ridiculous of me to want to feel good
about myself at the end of my life?
- [Knife] Er, I guess not.
- [Orange] And is it ridiculous of me to want
to have some money to cover burial expenses?
- [Knife] (sighs) No, it's not ridiculous.
Here, here's a couple bucks.
- [Orange] Thank you, now on to Step Four.
Buy dozens of decoy oranges
with the money you just got. (laughs)
- [Knife] Wait, what's happening?
- [Orange] Step Five, now you can cut the orange in half.
- [Knife] Well it's about time!
But which one of you is the real Orange?
- [Orange] I'm over here.
- [Knife] (grunts) What the?
- [Orange] (laughs) No, over here.
- [Knife] (grunts) Grr.
- [Orange] (laughs) Maybe you've noticed
I've filled the decoys with surprises.
- [Knife] I'll give you a surprise!
- [Orange] (laughs) Colder.
Colder!
Warmer.
Hotter.
(laughs) You couldn't be hotter.
You're fire-hot.
You're on fire!
(suspenseful music)
- [Knife] I've waited a long time for this moment, Orange.
Say goodbye!
- [Orange] No, you're on fire!
- [Knife] Huh?
What the?
(Knife screams) (Orange laughs)
(fire crackles)
(silly music)