Who are you?
All right, people, let's do this one last time.
My name is Peter B. Parker.
I was bitten by a radioactive spider.
And for the last 22 years...
...I thought I was the one and only Spider-Man.
What a day.
I'm pretty sure you know the rest.
You see, I saved the city, fell in love, I got married...
...saved the city some more, maybe too much.
My marriage got testy, made some dicey money choices.
Don't invest in a spider-themed restaurant.
Then like 15 years passed. Blah, blah, blah. Super boring.
I broke my back, a drone flew into my face, I buried Aunt May.
My wife and I... split up.
But I handled it like a champion.
'Cause, you know what, no matter how many times I get hit, I always get back up.
And I got a lot of time to reflect and work on myself.
Did you know that seahorses, that they mate for life?
Could you imagine?
A seahorse seeing another seahorse...
...and then making it work?
She wanted kids and... And it scared me.
I'm pretty sure I broke her heart.
Flash-forward: I'm in my apartment doing push-ups...
...doing ab crunches, getting strong...
...when this weird thing happened.
And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot.
But this was real weird.
You see, I was in New York, but things were different.
Also, I was dead.
And blond.
I was kind of perfect.
It was like looking in a mirror.
I have a feeling that the thing that brought me here was the thing that got him killed.
You wanna know what happened next?
Me, too.
Who are you?
What are you doin' over there?
Freeze! PDNY.
Stop!
Are you kidding me right now?
Stop! Stop!
I gotcha. I gotcha.
Hey, kid. Drop the body.
- Hey, kid. Get over here! - Come on, now!
See you, officers!
Aw, come on.
- Hey, kid. - Kid, come on, now!
Put 'em up, son!
Uh... adiós?
Help! Somebody stop that train!
Oh, hey. What the...?
Sorry.
I'm gonna die!
Looks like a child dressed like Spider-Man...
...dragging a homeless corpse behind a train.
Yes! I didn't kill you.
- Who are you? - Who are you?
- Why are you trying to kill me? - I'm not. I'm trying to save you.
Hey, maybe you guys can go around?
All right. Thanks, New York.