I always wondered
whether it was worthwhile.
Days that are filled with despair, self-blame.
All I ever wanted
was to have clear skin.
Hi everyone!
I'm Picky Expert Dr. Crystal
Lee, and I'm a doctor working in the UK.
Thank you all for joining me today.
I'll be sharing
with you my own skincare journey with the emphasis that progress is not linear.
Everyone
is different, so please do not compare yourself with anyone else.
And also, do remember to
be kind when watching this video, as this took a lot of courage for me to share with
you.
I will also be categorizing my journey into three different phases.
Phase 1 is the teenage acne angst.
Growing up in Malaysia, my face was often oily with
a few spots here and there.
And that's normal, especially for teenagers.
However, my skin
became much worse with painful, big, huge pimples.
In desperation, I'm also guilty of
trying all kinds of DIY skincare, from the lemon slices to the apple cider vinegar, and
even the mouthwash trick.
Additionally, I've also tried all sorts of traditional and conservative
medications, including seahorse brew.
Can you believe it!
I'm not a huge fan of it,
and I would not recommend it to anyone either.
So as a teenager, I grew up feeling really
self-conscious about the way I looked.
I could not help feeling that people were not seeing
me for who I am, but were actually just focusing on all my pimples and spots and blemishes
on my face.
If you grew up in an Asian household like myself, it is not uncommon to be bombarded
with all sorts of questions like "What's wrong with your face?", "Why are there so many pimples?",
"Are you not taking care of yourself?"
My pimples became the talk of almost every single
conversation I had with my family.
As if school wasn't stressful enough, my pimple journey
was a whole entire new ball game for me.
I visited the dermatologist and was started
on oral antibiotics, and later Roaccutane, due to the lack of improvement.
Roaccutane
is the brand-name for Isotretinoin, which is the oral form of Vitamin A.
Let's talk about Phase 2: reoccurrence is a pain.
After completing the course of Roaccutane,
my face was clear for a long time.
I went to the UK for university, and that's when
those pesky pimples decided to pop out all over again.
Initially, I put it down to the
change of weather, diet, and even stress.
I had to go through the whole ordeal again
to get my acne treated, but this time it was a much bumpier ride.
After months of being
in the waiting list, I was finally seen by a dermatologist in the UK.
I was then advised
to start another course of Roaccutane, except this time around with a much higher dose
almost 4 times more than what I had during my first round of Roaccutane.
Things took an unexpected turn.
I reacted terribly to it with quite a lot of side effects.
I was having nose bleeds, I was having bloody stool, I was having constant headaches, and
on top of that, I was having the normal common side effects like chapped lips and dry eyes.
After completing the second course of Roaccutane, my skin cleared out, but I was left with terrible,
sensitive skin.
Nobody knows what or how it happened because it wasn't a common presentation.
It took me nearly a year or so to calm my raging red skin.
During my second course of
Roaccutane, on some days, I felt motivated that I was doing the right thing for myself,
and I was heading towards the right direction.
There were also days that were filled with
despair, self-blame and just full of so much tears and sadness because in my head, all
I ever wanted was to have clear skin, and I couldn't quite understand why it was so
difficult for me to achieve something so basic for some people, that comes so easily for
some people.
After being on Roaccutane for the second time, I always wondered if it was
worthwhile going through the phase of flare ups, side effects and check ups just to achieve
clear skin.
During this period of my life, it was difficult
not to compare myself to my fellow friends who were blessed with clear skin and not a
spot in their life.
This part of the journey has taught me a great deal about self-love
and acceptance.
When my skin cleared up, I was over the moon, however, I felt a little
anxious about the possibility of a relapse.
But what are the odds?
Phase 3: third time lucky.
All was well for a good while, as my skin was all clear.
However,
in 2018, I started seeing signs of recurrence with some new, nodular cystic acne.
I was
once again advised by my dermatologist to start on another course of Roaccutane to minimize
the risk of any further acne scarring.
This time around, I needed a bit more self-convincing.
I was a bit hesitant to be on it again after the terrible side effects I had in the previous
occasion.
Also I felt like I was back to square one again, so I felt a bit deflated, a bit
defeated.
However, I was surrounded by my family and friends who are very very supportive,
and my dermatologist took all of the necessary precaution weighing the risks and benefits
of starting another course.
Whew.
Let's hope that the third Roaccutane course is the last
one!
After completing three courses of Roaccutane,
I am very content with how my skin is.
However, it is far from being perfect, and there is
just so much to learn about my skin and skin in general.
I am very grateful for the journey,
the experiences and the challenges.
So here I am, aspiring to become a better doctor,
a more sympathetic listener and perhaps your favorite cheerleader in your skincare journey.
So this is a nutshell of my skincare journey.
If you like this and would like to see more
videos like this, don't forget to give this a thumbs up, and if you have any questions
at all, please feel free to leave them in the comments below, and I will get them as
soon as I can.
To know more about my skincare journey and also skincare science, please
do not forget to follow me on both Instagram and Picky.
I post on both platforms regularly.
The links are down in the description below.
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Thank you for watching!
See you!