- This girl's lost everything.
The kids make fun of her.
They blow out her birthday cake and now the dog's gonna die.
Are you kidding me Marshmello?
If you love someone, you want their happiness.
Even if that means they're not with you.
This is, Bastille and Marshmello Get Therapized.
(upbeat music)
So this is yet another song that I just really dug
for the music and the beat and the vocals.
But you really get into the lyrics
and there's some deep stuff here.
"Happier," by Marshmello and Bastille
explores the concept of ending a relationship
because you love somebody.
So let's take a look at the music video,
and then we're gonna break it down as we go.
(gentle piano music begins)
Now, the music, aww.
♪ Lately, I've been, I've been thinking ♪
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
Now the music video, it tells a different story
than lyrics do, so we'll talk about both.
♪ When we see what we've become ♪
♪ In the cold light of day, we're a flame in the wind ♪
♪ Not the fire that we've begun ♪
♪ Every argument, every word we can't take back ♪
♪ 'Cause with all that has happened ♪
♪ I think that we both know the way that the story ends ♪
Okay, so we're looking at a young girl at a birthday party
and there are people in her life wanna make me happy.
There are people who blow out her candles.
There are people who are very selfish, right?
And she's just trying to have a good time.
So there's two stories going on,
one what's happening in the video
and one what's happening in the song
and the song, it's talking about
all the fights, all the arguments,
the wreck that we've made, walking away from it, right?
That getting distanced from this, I want you to be happier.
And that means that we won't be together
because when we're together, you're miserable
and we couldn't make it work.
♪ Then only for a minute ♪
♪ I want to change my mind 'cause ♪
♪ This just don't feel right to me ♪
♪ I wanna raise your spirits ♪ ♪ Raise your spirits ♪
♪ I want to see you smile but ♪
♪ Know that means I'll have to leave ♪
(upbeat music)
So he talks about, I wanna raise your spirits.
And I know that it's gonna, you know,
I'm paraphrasing lyrics,
but that's not with me, right?
That if I leave, it will actually help you to be happier
because of our conflict.
And sometimes that's actually the case.
I became a couples' therapist and a family therapist,
because I know that all relationships have conflict.
And the answer isn't just to walk away
because we have conflict or because things get ugly.
Our relationships are worth fighting for.
There's a difference between fighting for a relationship
and trying to keep it on life support
when it's clearly not coming back, right?
So how do we know the difference?
We'll get to that. Let's keep watching.
The little girl's growing up.
♪ Know that means I'll have to leave ♪
♪ Lately, I've been, I've been thinking ♪
I totally relate.
I was last picked for everything.
♪ When the evening falls ♪
♪ And I'm left there with my thoughts ♪
♪ And the image of you being with someone else ♪
♪ Well, it's eating me up inside ♪
♪ But we ran our course, ♪
So the image of you being with someone else
is eating me up inside.
Before I met Alicia I, you know,
I fell in love several times, dated several people.
A couple of times I really wanted it to end in marriage,
like, end in marriage.
I wanted it to arrive at marriage.
I wanted to share my life with that person
and the feeling wasn't mutual
or the relationship actually wasn't healthy,
even though I very much wanted it to be.
And the thought of that person that I was in love with
being with someone else was,
I couldn't sleep.
And it was physically painful.
I wanna share a little bit of perspective.
There was a young woman I fell in love with in college.
I was crazy about her, wanted it to be a forever thing.
And even though she was into me,
she wasn't as into me as I was into her.
she didn't wanna spend her life with me.
And it wrecked me for a while.
And this was before my mom died.
So at that point in my life,
it was the most pain that I'd ever been through.
To want to share your life with somebody
and to have them say no.
Fast forward, about a decade.
Alicia and I are married, we're together.
And on sheer chance, I run into this person in a store,
in the town where I was living.
She didn't live anywhere close.
She lived in a completely different state
and she didn't know that I lived there.
It was literally just like fate and circumstance
that we ran into each other.
And I remember how curious it was that I felt nothing.
I mean, not nothing.
I was happy to see her, right?
It was good to catch up with her.
And I had affection for her as a person,
but I didn't feel in love with her.
I didn't feel desire towards her.
And I didn't feel the pain of loss
that I had experienced a decade before.
It was washed away, it was gone.
If the answer isn't hell yes then the answer is no.
If the person that you're with
doesn't absolutely wanna be with you,
you deserve to be with someone who does.
Now, I'm talking about dating.
Sometimes in marriage,
your partner may not really wanna be with you
because life is hard
and you're trying to work through things.
If that's the case, you fight for it.
How do you know when to let it go?
When it's clear that it won't be revived.
When it's clear that no matter what is done,
there's no coming back from the past.
That in order to heal and to have a future,
this person needs to be apart from you to do that.
That's when you know it's time to walk away.
And in the music video, no one plays with her,
so she plays, I don't actually have a lot of thoughts
about music video itself, it's more about the lyrics,
but here we go.
But Golden Retrievers, if you get your heartbroken,
a golden retriever is a good remedy.
I will say that,
most lovable things they are. ♪ Course ♪
♪ We pretended we're okay ♪
♪ Now if we jump together at least we can swing ♪
♪ Far away from the wreck we made ♪
If we jumped together,
we can swim far away from the wreck that we made, right?
We made a wreck of this relationship,
but our last act together could be a jump off together.
And that's actually really healthy.
Because if one person's jumping off
and leaving you with the wreckage,
you resent them for leaving.
You're desperately crying for them to come back.
But what if it's mutual?
What if it's yeah, this isn't working.
So this is our last act together, is to dissolve this.
At least we do that together
and at least we're moving on together
instead of one of us moving on and the others left behind.
♪ Then only for a minute ♪
For a minute. Great song.
♪ I want to change my mind ♪
♪ 'Cause this just don't feel right to me ♪
- Mocking her for her braces. Kids are mean,
and teens are mean.
It's perfect to have the Golden Retriever though,
with I wanna raise your spirits.
Golden retrievers literally exist
to bring happiness to other beings.
(bright upbeat music)
♪ Know that means I have to leave ♪
Now the Golden retriever's sad.
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
What?
The dog better not die.
I actually chose this music video without having watched it.
'Cause I wanted to react to the lyrics of the song.
Is that what this is about?
This girl's lost everything.
The kids make fun of her.
They blow out her birthday cake and now the dog's gonna die?
Are you kidding me, Marshmello?
♪ Lately, I've been, I've been thinking ♪
Stop it.
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
I'm sorry.
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
This better end with her dad is her new dog
or something where she feels, okay, good.
Oh, shut up.
(upbeat music continues)
This is the choice you made.
Marshmello/Bastille.
20 Years later, this better be good.
She's got a daughter now.
She's gonna open it up. There's going to be a puppy
and it's going to be dead
'cause it was in the box and it ran out of air.
(upbeat music continues)
The least I can do is dance at this point, right?
Aww, okay.
You can come back from anything with puppies.
They should've ended Schindler's List with a puppy.
We would all left feeling a lot better.
Wow. That was dark.
I can't believe I said that.
Okay. Well there's a puppy.
Everyone's happy. That's great.
Listen, sometimes the relationships
are better off dissolving.
Sometimes they're worth fighting for,
and it's hard to know when that line is crossed.
Because sometimes one partner feels like, yeah,
that line is crossed, this relationship should be done.
The way I would say to know
is if you're both willing to fight for it,
or if another person or if one person feels pretty far gone,
but they'll at least hang around for awhile.
But at some point you both need to fight for it.
You need to fight for that relationship.
And that means making changes.
That means hearing each other.
That means growing for one another
and sometimes the growth isn't enough and that's okay.
It's okay to walk away.
It's okay to release somebody.
Like Sting saying,
if you love somebody set them free
so that they can be happier.
Great song. Mixed feelings about the music video
'Cause I just watched the dog from Up
get put to sleep.
Thanks a lot.
So if you haven't cried enough,
just now I'm gonna invite you to watch
The Fresh Prince Gets Therapized,
where Will Smith's character also called Will Smith
has to deal with his deadbeat dad coming and going
as he pleases and how that makes him feel. Actually,
one of the more powerful moments in sitcom history,
and I break it down right here.
If you are struggling in your relationship,
I invite you to meet for a complimentary
15 minute consultation,
video consultation with a therapist on our team
because they can help guide you through it
and see if you're a good fit for one another for therapy.
As always like, subscribe, click the bell
so that you get notified of our new videos.
(bell chimes) Let me know
in the comments below what music video
would you like me to respond to?
What lyrics do you want me to react to?
What questions do you have that I can answer?
And what do you think of the dog dying?
I'm just messing with you, anyways.
I will see you next time.
Mended Light, keep shining.
In west Philadelphia,
born and raised new videos dropping down
to brighten your day.
- [Man] Oh, nailed it.