- There are certain things that men will do
when they are ready to commit.
It is predictable, and today, we're gonna take a look
at seven of the most powerful and most common things
that a man does when he is ready to commit to you.
Check it out.
(ethereal music)
Hey, there, my name's Mat Boggs,
and I'm the founder of the Love and Relationships division
here at the Brave Thinking Institute, where our mission
is empowering people to create and live a life they love.
Now, that includes your love life,
so if you like this video, (air whooshing)
I encourage you to click that little subscribe button
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because every week, we bring you videos
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in your love life, and today, we're talking about the signs
that he is is ready to commit to you.
One of the most unnerving moments in a relationship
can be that moment when you're deciding how much
of your own heart to invest.
This is an important thing to know
because in a relationship, you're wondering
should you invest more of yourself?
Should you invest more of your time?
Should you really open your heart
and lean into this relationship?
Does he feel the same way as you do?
So today, we're gonna look at seven signs that your man
is leaning towards and ready to commit with you,
and the first one is consistency, and there's really
three things that you're looking for in consistency.
Consistency in his texting, check.
Consistency in his talking on the phone with you, check,
but the most important one is his consistency
in time spent with you, check.
See, that time is the most limited resource we have.
Time is the one thing we cannot create more of,
and so where a man spends his time and his money,
those two things give a great demonstration
of what he prioritizes in his life.
So if he is texting you, great.
If he's talking to you on the phone, great,
but if he's spending his personal time with you,
prioritizing that, making that matter,
that is a great sign that he's ready to commit to you,
and so here is what you wanna do:
in order to give yourself a clear picture
of where he is in this regard, give him something
called the silent movie test, and the silent movie test
is remember those old black and white silent movies
that didn't have any sound, any talking?
It was all subtitles, but what you did is you got to see
the characters and what their behavior was.
If your man was in a silent movie,
what is he prioritizing in life?
If you took out everything he told you,
everything he was saying to you,
and all you had to go off of were his actions
and where he was, how much time he was spending with you,
would you be at one of the top of his priorities?
And so if you are, that is a great sign that he is ready
to commit, ready to take that next step with you.
Now, the second sign that your man is ready
to commit is you'll find that he starts being
way more open about his finances,
and he's curious about your finances, why?
Because he's thinking about blending your finances together.
What would it look like, what would it be like
if you guys were actually married
and you guys were operating and blending finances?
What are your spending habits like?
Would this actually work together?
Now, not every man wants to blend finances
when they get married, but the vast majority do,
so if he's way more open about personal topics,
like finances as a very specific example,
that is a great sign that he is ready to commit.
Conversely, it's also a sign that a man is wasting your time
if he completely avoids personal topics like finances.
He doesn't wanna answer any questions about that.
He really keeps a large portion of his personal life
separate from you, private from the relationship.
That is a beautiful sign that this guy isn't anywhere close
to leaning in and wanting to commit.
He wants the relationship at whatever level
as it is to just simply stay the same.
The third sign that this man is ready to commit to you
is he raises his game to be with you,
and here's what I mean: this man's gonna find out
whatever the standard is in order to marry you,
in order to be exclusive with you,
and then he's gonna seek to achieve that.
I'll give you an example.
When my wife and I were dating,
and I knew that things were getting serious,
that I might wanna marry her one day,
and I was being more open about my finances,
she learned that I had $25,000 in debt,
and worse yet, that I had been carrying it for five years,
and she was like, "Mat, I'm not gonna marry you
with $25,000 of debt, just so you know,
not that you've proposed yet, but I'm just letting you know
I ain't gonna marry anybody who's gonna bring
that debt into the relationship."
Here's the irony: I paid that debt off in six months.
I had been carrying it for five years,
and when she said she wouldn't be with anyone
with that much debt, I was like,
"I'm getting rid of this debt."
I paid it off in six months, and so whether it's
financial debt, whether it's fitness,
whether it's a level of income, your man is gonna raise
his game to be with you, and you'll see him
make attempts at that.
You'll see him do what's required to try to provide you
with what it is that you want in order
for the two of you to be together,
and here's the fourth sign that he's ready to commit to you,
and I love this one, is he is willing to do the work
to make it work.
In other words, he is willing to shift his schedule around
to match yours.
He is willing to drive across town to meet you,
at the minimum halfway to meet you.
He is willing to move out of state in order to be with you.
He's willing to go to the amusement park
and hang out on date day with you
because that's where your kids wanna go,
and he wants your kids to be happy because your kids matter
to you, and you matter to him.
This was my case: I actually moved out of my state
from Oregon to southern California
just to date my wife.
She wasn't my wife at the time.
We were just dating, and we had dated long distance
for like eight months, gone out a handful of times,
and I was like, "This woman is amazing.
I don't know if I wanna marry her yet,
but I do know that I'm committed to finding out
if she could be my person."
I was committed enough to finding out
that I was willing to move my whole life
from Oregon to southern California
just to explore the relationship.
The man who's into you, the man who's ready to commit
to something, see, I was ready to commit if it was right.
If it wasn't right, it was like, okay, well, I'll make
a different choice, but I wanted something amazing,
and I thought she might be the one.
Turned out she was the one, but the man who's ready
to commit is willing to do the work to make it work.
Now, if you would love to attract the kinda man
who's ready to do the work to make it work with you,
I have a special invitation for you.
Once a month, I open up a coaching program
called Manifest Your Man.
It gives you the exact path for how to create
the mindset, heartset, and the skillset to call in
your special person and manifest the man of your dreams.
I'll post a link in the description below.
Click that link, fill out that form,
and explore if this program feels like the right program
for you to help you call in your person
and manifest your man, and number five
is he's comfortable talking about your future together,
and here's what this means: the man who wants to commit
with you does not want to lose you.
He does not want you to go off and be with somebody else,
so he's often booking concert plans like six months out,
saying, "Hey, babe, this concert's coming up.
Why don't we go to this concert together?"
Or booking a vacation for next fall, whenever that is,
and saying, "Hey, babe, would you love
to go on this vacation?
Let's plan this out," so he's making plans in advance
because he wants to be with you.
He sees you together.
Conversely, the man who is wasting your time
is the man who you'll notice isn't making those plans.
He's not including you in his future plans.
Those talks have dwindled away
and completely stopped happening altogether,
and there was a point in my relationship with Irene
after I had moved down to southern California,
after I wanted to explore things with her,
I felt like really, she could be the one,
and that's when the stakes raised,
and I hit all kinds of limiting beliefs and paradigms.
I was like, "Oh, I have to be sure,"
and so I entered this phase where I wasn't talking
about the future, and she instantly knew it,
and after a few months, we had been dating two
and a half years at this point, she came to me,
and she said, "Look, I've noticed you're not talking
about our future together.
I wanna know.
You don't have to propose to me today,
but I wanna know, do you see a future with us?"
And I got wobbly in that moment,
and she goes, "You need to take three days to figure it out.
If you don't wanna be with me, I'll find somebody else.
That's okay, but I love you, Mat.
I would love to be with you."
I took my three days.
I went deep in those three days,
and I realized, no, this is the woman
that I wanna create a life with,
and I came back, and I said, "You know what, I'm in.
I'm not ready to propose today,
but I know that if we stay this track and things are good
that yes, I do wanna create a life with you."
Once I opened up in that regard,
all kinds of plans and all kinds of things
that I wanted to do with her started to show up in my mind,
and we started talking about the future again.
So the man who's talking about future plans with you,
it's a beautiful sign that he's ready to commit,
and the sixth sign that he is ready to commit
is he will introduce you to the most important people
in his life.
When a man wants to bring you deeper into his life
by having you meet the most important people in his life,
the people that he loves the most.
His most important people, they might be his friends.
They might be his family, his mom, his dad.
Now, there's always cultural nuances.
He might be in a culture where you don't introduce
a girlfriend until you're ready to propose,
but in that case, if he is introducing you
and he's in that particular culture, know this:
he's very close to proposing in that scenario,
and so when a man really begins to open his life up,
when he really is into a woman, and when he really sees
his self with a woman, he sees creating a life with her,
the very next natural instinct is to introduce her
to the people that are most important to him in his life.
I create a video years ago where I talked
about unusual signs a man is into you,
and one of those is he's not introducing you to his friends,
and in that scenario, if he's trying to disconnect
from an old group of friends because that old group
isn't really on the path where he's headed,
but you are, you'll notice that the guy hasn't really formed
his brand-new group of friends yet,
and that's why he's not introducing you
to those old friends, so that is one caveat to this,
but generally speaking, he will introduce you
to the most important people in his life when he's ready
to take that next step with you, and the seventh sign
that your man is ready to commit is that you're gonna see
a change in his openness and his vulnerability with you.
Now, contrary to popular belief,
men want to be emotionally open.
It actually feels good to be emotionally open.
It's just that most men have been trained not to.
Most men have been trained not to talk about their fears
or their emotions because emotions equate to weakness.
Fears equate to weakness,
and so they've been trained to be stoic.
They've been trained to shut that stuff down,
but when you get a guy with a group of close friends
or in a safe place, and he finally opens up,
every man, that feels so good.
It feels so good to take the weight off
of having to have it all together,
taking the weight off of having to be perfect,
having to be the strong one all the time.
So when a man is ready to commit,
it's because he sees you as his partner.
He sees you as his confidante.
He sees you as that trusted not just lover,
not just girlfriend, but best friend in his life,
and that really is the pinnacle, is to have that level
of trust through keeping agreements with one another,
through having each other's back,
through cherishing each other's feelings and emotions
and thoughts over enough period of time
where he feels safe enough where he can really
open up to you, increase the level of vulnerability.
When he's doing that, he's actually increasing
the positioning of the relationship to say,
"Wow, this is someone who's not just my girlfriend
but someone who's my passionate lover and my best friend
all in one," and for a man, that is the ultimate package,
and so my question for you is what are the signs
that you see when a man is ready to commit?
Before he actually makes that commitment,
what are some of the behaviors,
what are some of the things that you're noticing?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below.
I hope this video serves you.
I appreciate you.
Here's to your amazing love life.
Thanks for watching. I'll see you soon.
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