Eventually, we arrived at the start of the Alpine course,
which also meant our first encounter with a hill.
Jeremy, you've only got two feet.
Every time I come off the brake in order to get on to the throttle,
which you have to do, it rolls backwards.
About eight inches.
Try using the handbrake like you would in, oh, I don't know, a car.
The twists and turns of the Alpine course were waiting for us
and eventually we got our trucks lined up on the start line.
Get in gear! Come on.
Low. Low.
Yes!
It's a drag race between me and Captain Slow. Come on, Magnum!
Oh, God.
Plainly, in the heat of battle,
James and Jeremy had completely forgotten about their delicate cargoes.
Clarkson's got the inside line.
-Oh, it's getting a bit narrow here. -No.
Oh, Lord.
Yes! I've got Slow.
After my poor start,
I, too, had little concern for my precious load.
It sounds like a charging rhino running up and down the trailer behind me.
Back at the front, Slow was refusing to give in.
Whoa, that's close.
I'm going to take him here. I've got a plan.
I can't... I can't turn in that.
Oh, you weren't ready for that, Slow!
Down a bit of a hill. Carry some...
That was... I didn't want to do what I just did.
I'm in the lead!
Unfortunately, in all the excitement,
I forgot to change down for the steep hill.
No! No!
It's dying on me. No! No! No!
You!
It does understeer, this lorry.
Right, got to change ratios. Next box, there you go.
Get a go in these things and suddenly you start to feel
just how much power they have got to give.
Yeah! Snap gear changes.
Captain Clumsy had severed my air lines and all the brakes were jammed on.
I absolutely hope James May wakes up in the morning
and 10,000 insects are in his underpants.
In exactly just over three minutes, I was the first to finish.
Now let's have a look at my cake.
That's what he hit.
He is the clumsiest man in the known world.
I'll just straighten it up a bit.
Hammond, meanwhile, was just crossing the finishing line.
I'll be honest, I think the headlamps, tail-lamps,
because I heard a clunk at that end,
and then a clunk at that end and then a lot more clunks
and then it stopped and got smoother and smoother.
Headlights are going to be smashed to bits. I daren't look.
Yes, I know, it's bad, I'm sorry.
It's worse than that.
I was now on the move again and flying.
Now come on, up the hill.
-Is that bad for my points? -Yeah.
More to the point, where is it?
I don't know.
Then Jeremy arrived.
-Fire! You're on fire! -You're on fire!
Have we got the next challenge, lads?
How can we be this rubbish?
This is totally...
So, anyway, how was your car?
-Car's interesting. -Stolen.
That's what it is, I've just thought of it now, stolen.
The damnedest thing.
Oh, that is actually quite bad now.
Yeah, it is, that's on fire.
Yeah.