I would say my biggest weakness is working too hard…and, uh, loving too deeply
and, uh, having strengths that are too strong
and…why did you leave your last job?
uh, I was a DJ…[makes various DJ sounds]
it was kind of a long story
[synths reverberate through a club, a harbinger of dark and poppy times to come]
tonight's the night we can leave it all behind
we're gonna run this town, nothin but music on our minds
you came to the right place--you're a damn fine girl with a nice face
Mr. DJ, make the music play all night long
won't you kick it off by spinnin my favorite song?
sorry, but my playlist is already set--this'll turn into a circus if I take requests
just livin for tonight and nothin more
so crank it up while we rock on the dance floor
all the stress and the worries disappear
so Mr. DJ, turn it up in heeeeere
the volume is already at the legal limit
so calm down and let me do my job for a minute, beeitch
oh, DJ, play my song now
NO, leave me alone
and turn the music up
these levels are really ideal
tonight's the one night that matters
that seems short-sighted
we'll dance 'til the sun comes up - up - up
the club closes at 3, guys
up / just managing expectations
up, 'til the sun comes up - up - up
last call's at 2:30
up / it's strictly enforced
up, 'til the sun comes up - up -up
just enjoy the party like everyone else, okay? you're getting creepy
tonight's the night we forget about the rest of the world
why'd you follow me here? I'm takin a piss
can't use my dick to control my playlist
music's what I need, and I'm a very needy girl
it's been an hour since we closed the club
I can't play anything when my gear's unplugged
I'm gonna go hard until I got nothin left
[screams/shrieks]
don't need to slow down--I can just sleep when I'm dead
I'm not a DJ when I'm here in the office
you're gonna get me fired if you don't stop this
[escalating synths of doom]
hands in the air, wave 'em side to side
what? again?!
then to the other side and back to the side
that is the dumbest dance
keep your hands up, don't put em down
oh, Mr. DJ, turn it up right nooooow
I DON'T WANNA GIVE EVERYONE HEARIN LOSS
TEMPORARY JOY HAS A LIFELONG COST, BEEITCH
oh, DJ, play my song now
NO, leave me alone
and turn the music up
I can't get another noise violation
tonight's the one night that matters
why are you yelling?!
we'll dance til the sun comes up -up - up
you just rhymed "up" with "up" / up
you're really phoning this in / up
til the sun comes up - up - up
does "mouse" rhyme with "mouse"? / up
NO, it's the same word! / up
til the sun comes up - up - up
VIP, tryin to keep it low-key
you're killin me with the karaoke
good lord, we didn't deserve this
nobody ordered Lohan with the bottle service
you're actin like a President-Elect
quiet down, show the DJ a little respect, oh
you wanna hear your favorite song, stay at home in your pajamas, turn the stereo on
he wanna play David Bowie tonight, shut your mouth and enjoy some songs about space flight
ground control to a major ego--shit, she tricked me into guestin on her single
DJ, play my song now
did my agent sign me up for this?
and turn the music up
Luchterhand, you're fired
tonight's the one night that matters
I got you 10 percent of this track
we'll dance til the sun comes up - up - up
Luchterhand, you're rehired
'til the sun comes up
NO--et tu, Brute?!
til the sun comes up - up - up
why are you doing this to me? / ayyy
she's ruining my life / up
til the sun comes up - up - up
and that's the end of my story, I've never been back since
oh...I think you're gonna like it here / oh
OH / [shriek] / DJ, play my song now
and turn the music up
tonight's the one night that matters / [dancing and cowering ensue]
we'll dance til the sun comes up - up - up
up, up, til the sun comes up - up - up
til the sun comes up - up - up
up, up, til the sun comes up - up - up
[credits ensue, and also thoughts about the nature of existence and DJs]