(school bell rings)
- How does a girl even decide
which of these extracurricular activities to pursue?
- I know, right?
- The sheer number of options here is overwhelming.
I mean, do I wanna do something for my future like SAT prep?
Or do I wanna do something fun like the homework club?
- Who says you only have to pick one?
I mean, I'm gonna do peer mentoring followed by yoga,
and then I'm hitting up that session on time management.
Now, if I could only figure out
how to manage to get some time for myself.
(chuckle)
- Are you okay? - Sorry, I can't hear you
over the sound of my own inner turmoil.
I gotta jet.
- Man, Tiffany just dumped me
for being detached and unemotional.
So I'm heading to the weight room
to work through some stuff.
You know, I'm benching 120 lately.
- Dude, I'm so sorry to hear that.
- Yeah, but it's all good.
I'll be up to 130 in a week, tops.
- Right, that's the heartbreaking part.
- It is.
- Anyway, I'm off to the art room
to creatively express my frustrations with my family.
Maybe if I'm lucky,
today I'll learn how to draw a boundary with my mother.
(eerie music)
How does he do that?
- Dude, I am so pumped from marching band practice today.
- Likewise.
- Watching everyone move in perfect coordination.
It's like, for a brief moment, we become more than human.
- Like a huge machine.
- Precisely, my friend.
As for the music, well, you know how it is.
- So true.
Finally, there's an arrangement of "Bad Habits"
by Ed Sheeran that's actually good.
- That song was terrible until someone put it in 2/4 time.
(making instrument sounds)
- Yes. I got the lead in the school play.
Who's the drama queen now mom and dad.
That's right.
It's me.
I have undeniable proof.
- I wanted that role so bad.
I was born to be a star.
I can't believe
that the theater director cast you instead of me.
- Hey, there's always next year you know.
- I am a senior.
This was my last chance.
- Oh crap.
Well, at least you got the part of, oh, double crap.
I am so sorry.
- Oh, you're not sorry yet.
But you will be.
I am gonna find a way to upstage you
during this show and all the spotlight will be mine.
Well, that would be a lot more threatening coming
from someone else other than park bench number two.
Do you think I'm gonna have to sit on you during this play?
That would be weird.
- Yeah, I hope not.
- Thanks for agreeing
to this interview for the school newspaper.
- No problem.
As class president irritating interactions
like this are one of my many duties.
- Now you're on record as saying
that the student body's request
for pizza Fridays is unrealistic.
- No, actually I said the request was infantile.
- So what you're saying is you hate happiness and infants?
- No, what I'm saying is that we have bigger fish to fry.
- So what you're saying is you want to institute
fish fry Fridays instead?
- No, you idiot not literal fish.
- So what you're saying is...
- Listen do you wanna take this outside
of this classroom and into the debate club?
- Giddy up.
- When I have fears
that I may cease to be
before my pen has gleaned my teaming brain.
- Yo, you guys here for the poetry slam?
- It's not poetry slam.
It's just poetry club.
- Cause I got this book of poetry and I am ready to slam it!
- I knew I should have joined Quidditch club instead.
- Well, I got kicked out of programming club.
- How'd you manage that?
- Well, I made malicious software that can take
down the entire school.
- That makes sense.
Well, I've got another club you can join.
- What is it?
- Did you know this school offers 10 foreign language clubs?
None of which is Wooki, until today that is.
- What do you mean?
(Wooki noises)
- Ah, yes.
Quidditch is much more my speed.
Of course, now I have to walk around campus
carrying a broom and wearing a cape like a doofus
but it's not like the bullying can get much worse.
- Yo you're that poetry dude right?
Good seeing you again.
Now who's ready to play some cribbage?
- Some of my haters say I became a cheerleader
'cause I was trying to be popular, but it's like, hello,
I'm already the most popular girl in school.
Being a cheerleader is just the cherry
on top of the pyramid of my peers bodies.
- Ah, please pay me don't mind.
I'm just the backbone of this organization.
The anchor keeping the ship in place
the invisible wind at your wings.
Ah, this hurts.
- Can you zip it?
You're harshing my vibe, it's kind of hard to keep
my balance with this negativity.
- You know from now on I'm just sticking
with emotional support.
Physical support is just too painful.
- Oh wow.
I've made a lot
of 16 personalities comedy sketches on this channel.
You don't believe me?
Well, why don't you watch some more?
Watch this one here.
You'll love it.
Binge the whole playlist right here.
It'll take you several hours.
I appreciate your time commitment.
If you've got an idea for 16 personality sketch
let me know in the comments
see you next week until then stay cool and attractive.