-Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you. Welcome to "The Tonight Show"!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Everyone's indoors watching the show tonight, cozy.
I love it. Welcome, everybody.
We're having a sleepover tonight.
We're having a sleepover. It's gonna be fun.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's get to the news and jokes.
Well, guys, as if things aren't crazy enough,
right now, millions of people on the East Coast
are bracing for some pretty intense weather.
-A blockbuster nor'easter.
-A beast of a December snowstorm.
-Nightmarish, major, and epic.
-Tens of millions bracing for a powerful winter storm
that could bring up to two feet of snow.
-Yep. When the experts said stay home and hunker down,
Americans were like, "We're already home
and we're already hunkered."
Yeah, yeah. Instead of a snow day tomorrow,
a lot of kids will have school remotely.
That's where your 6-year-old just said,
"2020 can go straight to H-E-double hockey sticks."
Hey. [ Laughter ]
I got to be honest. I'm not really looking forward
to starting my day tomorrow by using an ice scraper
on my face shield. [ Laughter ]
Well, here in New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio
said that while street dining must close for the storm,
sidewalk dining can remain open.
[ Laughter ]
That sounds like fun during a blizzard,
especially when your waiter has to curl your entree
over to you with a broom.
"Who ordered the steak? Here we go. Okay, go, go, go, go."
Yeah, sidewalk dining will remain open
because what's more fun than eating a plate
of frozen pasta while a plow
blasts you with a foot of gray sludge?
[ Laughter ]
Yep, thanks to the blizzard,
millions of people could end up losing power
or, as one man put it, [as Trump] join the club.
[ Laughter and applause ]
♪♪
A lot of Republicans say the power's still on, actually.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Sir, no one can hear you.
The televisions are off. There's no electricity.
[ as Trump ] Yes, it is. There's electricity.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] By the way, you know we're entering
the post-Trump world when our monologues start with
"Hey, guys, some big news about the weather."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Feels kind of good!
Well, everyone's talking about this.
Tom Cruise was caught on tape yelling at his crew,
but he was basically just telling them
to socially distance and be safe from COVID.
Here, listen to this.
Yeah, wow, if Tom Cruise worked in the White House,
we could have had the vaccine back in April.
[ Laughter and applause ]
For the last nine months, that's pretty much
how Dr. Fauci has felt on the inside.
[ Laughter ]
What's amazing is when Tom delivered that rant,
he was hanging off a 163-story building.
Isn't that amazing? [ Laughter ]
But actually, this isn't the first time a celebrity
has been caught ranting about something
that has turned out to be pretty helpful advice.
Check out some of these other examples.
Helpful, helpful, helpful advice.
We're submitting that for the Emmys show.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, guys, it's been a tough week for President Trump
and it keeps getting worse. Now, his next-door neighbors
at Mar-a-Lago are saying they don't want him
to live there after he leaves the White House.
Neighbors are like, "This is a classy area.
We can't be associated with a one-term president."
[ Laughter ]
New York doesn't want him. Mar-a-Lago doesn't want him.
Man, one minute you're waking up in the White House,
next, you're waking up next to Lou Dobbs,
whispering, "I made us coffee."
[ Laughter ]
I'm not surprised nobody wants Trump living next door.
Most neighbors ask to borrow some sugar.
Trump's like, "Can I borrow $400 million?"
It would be ironic, though, if Trump does move there
and then his neighbors build a giant wall next to him.
[ Laughter ]
Just saying.
We'll pay for it. [ Laughter ]
Changing gears here, I saw that IKEA is now selling tiny homes
starting around $47,000.
Yeah, it sounds interesting, but I'm not sure if I want
to live in a house I assembled with an Allen wrench.
[ Laughter ]
You know that uneasy feeling
when you're done building a dresser
and there's like three extra pieces?
Now picture that with a house.
[ Laughter ]
Listen to this. In a new study,
45% of people working remotely admitted
they drink during the work day,
as opposed to the other 55%
who still do it but didn't admit it.
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, there's also another survey
that found that college kids are actually drinking
less during the pandemic.
Turns out it's not that fun to do a keg stand
when the people holding your legs are your mom and dad.
[ Laughter ]
And finally, a documentary filmmaker
made a little mistake while he was flying over Brazil.
Watch this.
-A documentary filmmaker got a little careless
while snapping pictures from a small plane over Brazil.
His iPhone 6S slipped out of his hand
and plunged 1,000 feet to the ground,
and it recorded the entire 15-second fall.
-Thanks to GPS, he found that phone the next day,
still charged with only a crack in the protective screen.
-Get out of here! -What?
-That's crazy.
I mean, who the hell still has an iPhone 6?
[ Laughter ]
That's right. His iPhone only had one crack
after falling 1,000 feet.
Meanwhile, I dropped mine in the parking lot.
Looks like a monster truck drove over it.
What a show we have for you tonight.
Joining us in studio, she stars in the new animated Pixar film,
"Soul" -- Tina Fey is here!
[ Cheers and applause ] Tina Fey!
Plus, she directed, produced and co-wrote
the upcoming film "Wonder Woman 1984."
Patty Jenkins is here!
[ Cheers and applause ]
And we got great music, my friend upstate,
my friend "Q-Ball," Shawn Quinlan upstate,
was telling me all the music he was into.
He's like, "Have you heard this kid, Marcus King?"
Do you know Marcus King?
-I'm still tripping off of Q-Ball.
[ Laughter ]
Is that his real name? -That's his real name.
-Does he know you call him Q-Ball?
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, I call him
a bunch of, like, fun, friend nicknames.
-What's he call you?
[ Laughter ]
-Jim. [ Laughter ]
It's not Jimmy.
-"Hey, Jimothy, what's up, man? It's Q-Ball."
-No, Jimothy is -- Some people call me Jimothy.
But no, he -- we're straight up -- Jim he calls me.
Yeah, which is kind of a fun nickname.
-Straight up Jim.
-You know, Quinlan is his last name.
-Oh, okay. -So he's Q-Ball.
-Yeah, Q-Ball.
-Shawn. Shawn Quinlan.
Quinlan, Q-Ball.
I call him Shawn. I call him Q.
[ Laughter ]
-He doesn't know you call him Q-Ball.
-Yeah. -He answers the phone.
He's like, "Hello?" You're like, "Hey, Q-Ball, what's up?
It's J-Jim." He's like, "What?"
-I don't say it's J-J-Jim. I say it's Jim.
I know who it is if I'm calling.
-Okay. Cool. -Yeah.
You kind of hesitated a little bit when you said my name.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah.
No, I know my name. -Alright, alright, Jim-Ball.
-Jim-Ball is not a thing that no one --
[ Laughter ]
-It'll catch on. -It won't catch on.
I don't want it to catch on.
I want Jimmy. James is my name.
I used to go by Jim all the time.
Then I like Jimmy Fallon,
then my rap name was Colgate for a while.
[ Laughter ]
-I think I can guess why.
-The toothpaste.
-I mean, extra fresh, I don't know.
-Oh, man, I wish I thought of that.
[ Laughter ] -Wow.
-Oh, damn! -Wow!
[ Laughter ]
-Wait, are you going back in time?
-Yeah. I never thought that. That's actually good.
My rhymes weren't that good. -Extra fresh.
[ Laughter ]
-Anyway, I'm talking to Q-Ball.
I go, "What's up? What are you listening to?"
He goes, "Check out Marcus King."
This dude shreds. He's got a great voice.
I love it. Get ready. You're going to love this guy.
Marcus King is on the show tonight.
[ Cheers and applause ]
So, I watched "Soul" over the weekend, the Pixar movie,
Tina Fey, Jamie Foxx -- they're both fantastic in it.
The movie's great, man. Oh, man.
Guess whose first voice or second voice you hear
in the whole thing. -My boy Q-Ball.
[ Laughter ]
-Q-Ball! Questlove! Yeah! Q-Ball! That's right, Questlove!
-Q-Ball! Q-Ball!
-[ Laughing ] You call him Q-Ball?
-Yeah, man. [ Laughter ]
-Questlove is in "Soul."
Here he is as Curly. Look at this.
-And I'm bald-headed.
-You're like a cue ball. -Yeah.
-Yeah, you're bald as a cue ball.
Curly -- Quest, you are fantastic in this.
-Thank you. -I heard your voice.
I knew we talked about this months ago,
and you said you're in this, but you're really good in this.
-Thank you. When they called me to --
When they pitched it to me,
I thought they just wanted recommendations for music
because it was like an 11-minute pitch.
I'm like, "Who gives an 11-minute pitch for music?"
-Yeah, I'll figure it out.
-I was like, well, yeah, I can recommend some people.
And they're like, "No, you're in it."
-Wow! -I just fell out, like...
-It's wild. I mean, the movie is a trip, man.
It's really amazing.
You forget you're watching -- I mean,
the animation is just amazing.
But it's great. It's moving.
But, dude, you're perfect. -It's really for adults, though.
It's for adults.
-I watched it with my girls. They dug it. They liked it.
-But you felt that a little bit more, didn't you?
-Phew, man, I was weeping. I felt it.
-Exactly. [ Laughs ] -"Don't even look at me."
I had my kids sitting on my lap so they couldn't see me.
-Right. -Gosh, dude.
Wait till you see what you do with your life, you know?
It's like, oh, my God. -Exactly.
-It's one of those movies. -Yeah.
-But, dude, you're great in it.
What do you think the jazz club that they're imitating,
which one do you -- I think it's --
Downstairs looks like Jazz Standard.
-I felt that it -- What's the one that goes on Sixth Avenue
that goes downstairs?
Village Vanguard.
-The outside looks like Vanguard to me.
-Yeah. -But it's called the Half Notes.
So I thought, oh. -Oh, Blue Note.
Yeah, Blue Note. -But then I think --
Yeah, I guess Village Vanguard.
-I felt like it was Village Vanguard.
-It's Vanguard, yeah, yeah.
I mean, the details in those movies are just fantastic.
But we'll talk to Tina later about being in this.
But Q-Ball, Questlove, Ahmir, Questlove Thompson is in "Soul."
And you crush it, buddy. -Thank you.
-Congrats on that. That's got to feel good to be in that.
Everyone, we have exactly three shows left
before we go on Christmas break, which means it's time for
that beloved "Tonight Show" tradition.
It is time for "12 Days of Christmas Sweaters!"
♪ -12 days of Christmas sweaters ♪
♪ Three days left ♪
-That's right. Every show between now and Christmas,
we'll be giving one lucky audience member a breathtaking
Christmas sweater from the Countdown to Christmas Cabinet.
Now, since there are three shows left,
let's open door number three.
[ Drumroll ]
Where is it? Oh, yeah, I see it up there, yeah.
Ooh, wow!
This is...moving.
♪♪
Wow, that --
It looks like it's still alive, that sweater.
Oh, my gosh. Can we dim the lights there?
[ Audience oohs ]
Yes, flip it around. Let's see the back.
Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
Yeah. Alright.
Now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater.
Everyone, look at your seat number.
If I call your number, come on down.
Quest, can I get a drumroll, please?
[ Drumroll ]
1-4-2!
♪♪
Congratulations. You won tonight's Christmas sweater.
What is your name? -Katherine.
-Katherine, where are you from?
-New York. -New York. Oh, my gosh.
Can you try that guy on so we see what it looks like?
-Yeah.
-There's no real...
There's no real front or back to these this year.
We kind of went...
Yeah, that's the back, actually.
But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
There should be a hole for your head somewhere.
Look at this. Even backwards, it's going to look good.
♪♪
[ Laughs ]
Ooh!
Wow! Look at that! Gorgeous! [ Cheers and applause ]
That is what I'm talking about!
Stunning! Congratulations! Oh, my gosh.
Another round of applause for our winner right there.
Thanks again to our lucky audience member.
Stick around. We'll be right back with Tina Fey, everybody!
Come on back!
♪♪