Cuphead contains a colorful and crazy cast of characters, ranging from mischievous little
cups… to giant crazy plants… to the Devil himself. This made us ask a crazy question.
Which of these bizarre characters were most likely to survive a wide variety of
shockingly brutal children’s games? We’re of course talking about the Squid Games,
the epicenter of the very popular Squid Game on Netflix. With both The Cuphead Show and
Squid Game being Netflix originals, it made us ask who would win these titular games.
I’m Kifinosi with 1upBinge and this is Which Cuphead Character Would Win Squid Game?
A couple of rules before we start, no immortal beings, so we aren’t including
The Legendary Chalice or Jasper, Duke, and Emma because they’re ghosts and therefore immortal,
but we will be including The Devil because we don’t know his mortality status.
So, the contestants in this episode’s Squid Games are as follows: Cuphead, Mugman,
Ms. Chalice who we are counting as separate from The Legendary Chalice, Porkrind, Elder Kettle,
The Devil, King Dice, Henchman, Stickler, Baroness Von Bon Bon, Beppi The Clown, Cagney Carnation,
Cala Maria, Chauncey Chantennay, Captain Brineybeard, Dr. Kahl and not his robot,
Goopy Le Grande, Grim Matchstick, Hilda Berg, Sal Spudder, Ollie Bulb,
Ribby, Croaks, Sally Stageplay, Wally Warbles, Werner Werman, and Baby Bottle
We’ll point out one thing, we have to make a lot of assumptions when it comes
to characters that aren’t part of The Cuphead Show where characters have full personalities,
so forgive us in advance if you don’t agree with our assumptions.
With the rules situated and the roster selected,
we can speak about the first game on the list: Red Light, Green Light
Red Light, Green Light is the first game played during the Squid Games
after the contestants are brought into the games. The rules are quite simple,
when the robot says Red light, you cannot move and if you do, you’re executed and when the
light is green you can move forward. A couple of things are necessary to survive, firstly,
a level head to not freak out when it comes to dead bodies falling around them, secondly,
patience is necessary as not to keep moving and listening skills are important for the whole game,
so if you don’t listen here, you won’t survive the rest of the game.
Some characters who pass by the game relatively quickly include Mugman,
who tends to be the most level-headed character of the main cast, Ms. Chalice is shown to be
level headed and quite patient, listening well enough to know when to escape and Stickler is
shown to be slightly impatient but has great listening skills and a large level head.
The first to go during this game is Ribby and Croaks, since they die together in this game,
we’re just grouping them together. The main reason they fail this game is due to their
terrible listening and reasoning skills. In the game, they are better and more well-rounded than
they are depicted in the Show, on which we are basing this on. During the Show they are shown
to be very daft as well as willing to fight each other at every moment they could, they don’t know
how to listen to anyone but their base instincts to fight each other. In fact, it wouldn’t be too
much of a surprise if they die because they went to fight each other during the Red Light.
Next to go during this game is Beppi The Clown. We say that Beppi loses during this game due
to the fact that he seems quite deranged. This might be because of the fact that he’s a clown,
but he gives off crazy vibes. His victory quotes are all puns about killing Cuphead in some way,
shape, or form and his form of fighting is very erratic. He is unlikely to listen and
doesn’t seem to be very level-headed at least not from what we’ve seen of him.
Similarly deranged and next to fall is Baroness Von Bon
Bon. Bon Bon is the main boss of “Sugarland Shimmy” and seemingly the queen of some sort of
candy-based kingdom. She has a variety of minions at her disposal, although none of them come into
play here. She is deranged enough to toss her actual head at you and fire at you without caring
about the safety of her servants. She even starts to chase after you in her giant cake castle,
making it quite difficult to call her sane. She also seems like the type to fight authority
due to being vain in her baroness position, which would also definitely get her killed.
Another deranged individual that will die in this game and the final to do so
is Cagney Carnation. Cagney is a large sunflower-Esque creature who has a variety of
unique abilities at his disposal. According to his two different victory quotes, he does seem
quite deranged and angry as the battle goes on spouting “extreme pollination and total
domination” when he wins in his final phase. This hints that he’s not all there if we’re
being honest and proves that as the battle goes on he loses his level head. His battle tactics
also show a lack of level-headedness because he’s willing to throw out attacks that come back and
could possibly harm him. So in our eyes, we have to say that he falls during this game.
With 23 of our original 28 we move into the next game on our list The Honeycomb Challenge.
The Honeycomb challenge consists of our contestants slowly and accurately removing a
shape from a honeycomb cookie. The cookie itself seems rather brittle and prone to breaking and
those who break the cookie are then killed. To survive during this game you need patience to
not break the cookie and steady hands needed to remove the shape carefully. Surviving this game
quite handily, pun intended, is Ms. Chalice who is a trickster and steady-handed as anyone else,
King Dice is shown to have great control over his hands,
Stickler is very patient and seems steady-handed with his long bony
fingers and Elder Kettle is shown to be one of the most patient characters in the series.
The first to go during this game is The Devil, now the all-powerful Devil falls during this
game for one main reason. In the Cuphead Show, we see that The Devil is heavily impatient,
especially when he is looking to collect someone’s soul. He spends many hours during multiple days
trying to take Cuphead’s soul while he was wearing the soul-protecting sweater.
His impatience tends to cause him great pain, and while the game version doesn’t show very
much of this personality, it’s likely that he carries some of those traits over there as well.
The next one on our list is Goopy Le Grande, the bouncing Dragon Quest reference. Goopy is
a giant slime creature who can shift his body at will to accommodate a few different forms,
including thumbs in the case of him popping the pill at the start of Phase Two. He tends to attack
with big fisticuff moves and in his large form, he does seem a bit dull compared to the crafty
look we see in Phase 1. Goopy’s main form of attack is accidental and not directed which
implies he’s not very focused nor patient, and his goopy body and large frame make it hard to
say that he would be steady-handed, causing us to believe that he is to die during this game.
A Cuphead Show exclusive character, Baby Bottle is the next to fall during this game.
Now, this one is quite obvious, as the character’s name implies he is indeed a baby, however,
we know that Baby Bottle is quite scheming and manipulative and if it wasn’t for this round
he might do quite well. Baby Bottle shows very little patience and seems to mostly fall to
his emotions more often than not. Secondly, Baby Bottle’s undeveloped limbs make it quite difficult
for him to extract the cookie shape and he’d likely break it in anger, causing him to die.
The final one to fall in this game is quite simple, Wally Warbles. Wally is a large bird
situated in a giant birdhouse, utilizing his feathers and multitude of abilities to
attack Cuphead and Co. However, he fails for one major reason, he has no fingers,
he only has large wings, and yes, while he can turn his head into a giant hand, that’s not much
more helpful. So, it’s no surprise that he would break the cookie because of his large wings.
In between official games is a small lesser-known game,
and with 19 of our original 28, we deal with The Midnight Brawl.
While the Midnight Brawl is not listed as an official game, it is still treated as such by
us and most others. To win within the Midnight Brawl, one must be skilled in one of the following
categories, hand-to-hand combat, stealth, or intelligence, as they are all necessary
in their own ways. Some notable winners in this game are Stickler, who is probably the
smartest character on this list, Werner Warmen is shown to be quite smart as well, building
the giant Katzenwagen Ms. Chalice is an utter genius as well, especially in manipulation and
Dr. Kahl is shown to be a genius who can create a giant working robot with very little trouble.
The first to go during this game is the titular Cuphead. Now, we’ve seen Cuphead
defeat all of these bosses, that is true, but to do so Cuphead needs his magic potion,
without it, not only does he have a massive size disadvantage over most of the bosses
but he’s also shown to be headstrong and kind of dumb. Cuphead is not the dumbest character
on this list but he doesn’t take no for an answer and is shown to be very dumb at times,
causing him to pretty easily die during this game.
Next to go during this game is Cala Maria. Cala is a giant mermaid gorgon creature who you fight
late in the game. She is shown to have a great grasp over sea life and seems to have at least
average intelligence, although becoming deranged later on in the duel. What really drags her down
is the fact that she doesn’t seem very stealthy due to the fact that one of her
main forms of attack is through the use of yelling. She also doesn’t seem like much of
a physical threat without sea life around, so we kind of have a reason ax her here.
In a similar boat is Hilda Berg, the Threatenin’ Zeppelin. Hilda seems rather
intelligent and her powerset makes it obvious that she has some variety up her sleeve. But,
one of her main forms of attack is through the use of speaking quite loudly to shout
her literal words at you. Hilda also turns into a giant half-moon during
her final phase which would not help her in the stealth category and since she doesn’t
seem the biggest physical threat outside of this form, it’s unlikely she would survive.
The Final to fall during this section is none other than Grim Matchstick. Grim is a giant
dragon who you fight in “Fiery Frolic” amongst the clouds, where it’s obvious that Grim does not wish
to fight you. Grim does seem like he could be a physical threat and seems of average intelligence,
but Grim doesn’t like to fight which means he’d try to hide. But his ginormous size,
even in the ending where most characters are scaled-down, he is still much larger
than everyone else, he would likely be unable to hide and subsequently be killed.
We’re down to only 13 of our original 28 when we move into the next game: Tug of War.
Tug of War is the game played after the Midnight Brawl, where-in teams of players try and pull
each other off of a large platform by tugging on a titular rope. There are two ways to win this game,
either through intense strength to pull the other person’s rope as fast and deadly as possible. The
other way is through intense teamwork, such as the way Gi-hun won, being able to use your team to
your advantage. Some notable winners in this game are Mugman who is shown to be a great team player
throughout his multiple appearances, although he doesn’t have much in terms of strength. Porkrind
has a sheer size advantage which lends pretty easily to his strength, Captain Brineybeard is
in a similar position where his sheer strength is shown to be a result of his stature, and The Root
Pack are shown to work great within a team and their size shows to be helpful in their strength.
The first to go during this game is Elder Kettle. Elder Kettle is a unique character in this case
because of his history compared to his age. Kettle is a war veteran so one could say he
has vast teamwork skills but from what we’ve seen he’s also quite the loner as he doesn’t
seem to have any friends. He’s also shockingly weak due to his age, which makes it even harder
for him to survive in this game, if we saw more of his army time he may have survived this game.
Next to go down during this game is Dr. Kahl, lacking his robot.
Dr. Kahl is a genius to put it lightly, however, he is not shown to have very many teamwork skills
or be very physically strong. Kahl’s strength comes from his brain and his giant robot and
with a lack of a robot and a game that doesn’t require breaking down on a scientific level
and is truly just pulling a rope, it’s no surprise that Kahl does not move forward in the games.
The next to fall during this game is hell’s auditor, Stickler.
Stickler is a very smart individual, and a very determined person at that,
able to count every single soul that goes in and out with relative ease. However,
he has a very small and skinny frame and shows no strength, he also seems to lack teamwork skills as
everyone seems to hate him rather than work alongside him. This comes down to Stickler being
a stick in the mud who seems to despise when people have fun, so he’s falling over the edge.
The Dramatic Fanatic, Sally Stageplay, is the last to fall during this section. This,
similarly to the previous characters, is quite skinny and doesn’t come across as very physically
strong. Sure, Sally is crafty and seems quite intelligent, however, this doesn’t really help her
in this game. She does seem to have some teamwork skills being an actress in plays, however, she
does seem like a primadonna who would rather have all the focus on her rather than the others. You
combine these facts and it makes it quite obvious that she’s not going to continue on in this game.
We now move on to the infamous Marble Game with only 9 of our original 28 left.
The Marble Game is completely based on one skill and one skill only, manipulation, being
able to manipulate someone while subsequently being unable to be manipulated makes sure you
survive this game. Not very many people are worth mentioning during this game,
but Ms. Chalice is a master manipulator and generally shown to not be manipulated and Sal
Spudder is shown to very easily manipulate Ollie during his time on screen in The Cuphead Show.
Sadly, the first to go during this game is Mugman. Mugman, at least in The Cuphead Show is shown to
be pretty easy to manipulate, with his chronic stage fright, refusal to fight back and general
fear of most things, it’s obvious to see why he isn’t that great at manipulation either.
We think Mugman is also the type to just let people walk all over him at times,
only fighting back to protect his brother Cuphead. If Mugman could learn how to manipulate someone,
he would survive, but at the moment, that’s not the case.
We mentioned him briefly, but up next is Ollie Bulb.
Ollie is the onion member of The Root Pack and is shown to be very easily manipulated by
Sal as well as both Mugman and Cuphead, showing he truly is easily manipulated
if Mugman can manipulate him. He also shows no manipulation skills of his own, simply
crying which leads to everyone leaving him alone because this causes them to cry when he peels.
Ollie’s weakness is that he’s a massive pushover, much like Mugman, but even more so than him.
The last one to fall during this game is Captain Brineybeard. Brineybeard is a large pirate who you
fight late on in the game alongside his massive ship. Now, the reason we think he falls is that
his characterization makes him seem unlikely to manipulate those around him. He also seems
pretty easy to manipulate because his ship does commit what is basically a mutiny in the final
phase which means his ship manipulated him in some way. However, he does seem quite intelligent as
he realizes his buried treasure is just a myth but he doesn’t seem to utilize these smarts very much.
With only 6 of our original 28 still around we move into the penultimate game,
that of the Glass Stepping Stones.
The Glass Stepping Stones or Glass Bridge is a very difficult game to break down as it’s very
involved compared to others. With two bridges, one utilizing regular glass and another using
reinforced glass that you won’t fall through easily, you need to traverse the room in a
short amount of time. Amongst the variety of things needed to survive this game are a
low amount of Ego so you don’t pick a number that goes early, intimidation skills if you wish to
switch positions, and having the ability to tell tempered glass apart is a bonus.
First to fail and fall through the glass is sadly King Dice.
Always the penultimate boss and never the finale, King Dice suffers from a large
maybe overinflated ego that would likely lead him to pick a high number and take that first
deadly step. He is shown to be intimidating and a bit cowardly at times, but we doubt he’d have
the chance to switch positions. King Dice’s ego is inflated due to being the Devil’s right-hand
man, but going first usually leads to you failing and falling hard in The Glass Bridge.
While smart, Werner Werman doesn’t survive the games. Werner is a large rat who is shown to
be able to build the giant life-like KatzenWagen and is able to manipulate the players and the boys
into believing he was eaten by said KatzenWagen. Werner is not unlikely to try and force a shift in
positions but he’s not very intimidating, he might push another through glass, but it’s unlikely to
work with his skinny frame and while he doesn’t have an ego, he isn’t very fearful or cowardly
so he would likely go pretty early on, all of which is a detriment to his winning likelihood.
Member of the Root Pack, Chauncey Chantennay is the next to fall during these games.
Chauncey is a large carrot and seems to be quite intelligent, but he’s not very intimidating and
is shown to be quite cowardly. Much like Werner he might try and force a shift in positions but it’s
unlikely to succeed, and while he wouldn’t sacrifice himself for another, he’d likely
push someone through the glass, likely even the aforementioned Werner. He’d probably pick a low
number, but his cowardice is outshone by the fact that one of the survivors of this game is quite
intimidating and would likely get him killed, not to mention possibly being manipulated by Sal.
The final person to fall during this penultimate game is the aforementioned Sal Spudder. Sal
is arguably the leader of the Root Pack and a general menace to the Cup and this would lead
him to possibly be at the back of the list. He’s sort of intimidating and could likely intimidate
Chauncey or Werner into taking his spot and might be able to succeed in pushing someone through the
glass, but his fear does not cause him to survive. This is mostly due to the fact that while he’s
manipulative, both the survivors are better at intimidation and manipulation than he is,
so he kind of has to fall due to the process of elimination.
We now move into the final game on our list with our final two contestants, the titular Squid Game.
The Squid Game truly comes down to a hand-to-hand combat scenario where
the contestants duel to the death, although it is implied that if more than two people
were to survive there might be multiple winners, we won’t be going into that here.
Our final two contestants are the burly brute and piggy pugilist Porkrind
versus the smart and quick on her feet Ms. Chalice.
Despite both being skilled in their own ways, there was very little doubt about who would win
here, the final person to die during these games is Ms. Chalice. She may be smart and
a sneaky person who can survive a lot, as shown through these games. But all of her
manipulation skills aren’t worth a damn when it comes to a fistfight. She shows no combat skills
and is more likely to run than to stand her ground in a good old-fashioned fisticuff duel.
Meanwhile, Porkrind not only has a massive statue and is obviously a physical threat,
we mean, but he also had to get that eyepatch somewhere.
Porkrind also has a killer instinct because he was willing to kill the boys during Episode 10.
So, with that, it’s quite obvious that Porkrind is the winner of this episode’s Squid Games.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our
ranking. And tell us what we should cover next. Remember to hit that notification
bell and binge more of our videos. But most importantly, stay wicked.