- Oh no, no, well-
(both gasping)
(both exclaiming)
- Today we are back at it,
reacting to insane medical injuries,
and supposed ways people kicked the bucket
on "1000 Ways to Die".
Here, joining me today is my wife Jen.
- Hello.
Let's dive right in.
- [Narrator] Benny grew up to be a total a-hole.
26 going on 14.
- Wait, is that sugar?
- Sugar.
- You know a thing or two
about what you shouldn't put in a car.
- Okay, you don't have to be a car expert
to know that sugar, and a gas tank is a no-go.
All sorts of issues, clog, replace fuel filters.
Just put fuel, in the fuel tank
- [Narrator] Or cracking open someone's skull.
- What!
- [Narrator] The man is pranked.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
So he just put down some grease, some oil?
- Some oil, some grease, maybe vegetable oil,
or something, and then made the slippery, and fall down,
go boom.
Crack your skull open, cervical fracture,
and cranial bleeding.
- [Narrator] The blinding light hit the perfect spot,-
- It's gonna hit him.
- [Narrator] Benny finally got his wish.
- Oh no,-
( sound of car crash)
(both gasping)
(sound of fire hydrant hitting man)
- Oh!!! - Oh!!! (laughing)
- These always go so differently than I expect.
- [Jordan] Fire hydrants are like solid metal.
- Maybe some of you fire people out there know
exactly how much that weighs,
but if it's shooting through the air, propelling-
- What bad luck,
I mean karma.
- Okay, so wait, did he die though?
Did he die?
- [Narrator] He finally got what was coming to him.
- Wow. - Wow.
Part of your face is gonna be fractured off.
You're gonna get traumatic brain injury.
You're gonna get bleeding into your brain.
You might have a cervical spine fracture,
which maybe it just ripped through his brain stem.
- Brain stem!
- Snapped that off, which then stopped your breathing,
stopped your heart.
- Whoa.
(sound of hydrant hitting man)
- I would've thought he would've kicked the bucket
via just getting clobbered.
- You're still potentially getting effects of
my heart's still beating, and I'm still breathing,
because it hasn't affected that part of the brain.
Your midbrain, your pons, and your medulla oblongata-
- When you say that, I think of "Waterboy".
- Every time!
- Medulla oblongata!
- [Narrator] Bill was a successful businessman,
who hired Jenny, a personal trainer to help he and his wife.
- Oh my, gosh. - And in.
- [Narrator] What he didn't know,
Jenny was a gold digger in a sports bra.
- How's that feel, Bill?
- (laughing) Jenny!
- Jenny was a gold digger in a sports bra.
Hmm, I did play a gold digger once on this show,
but Jenny's are not gold diggers.
- [Narrator] She decided to work on her clean
and jerk technique.
(Jordan laughing)
- I'm sorry, what?
- That is when you actually clean, pick it up and you jerk.
There's different power lifting movements.
- Oh right.
Yeah, that's what we're talking about here.
- Come on!
- [Narrator] Practice, but when she finally got her check,-
- Oh, she's gonna do a clean and jerk.
Look, she cleans it, and jerk.
Oh. (laughing) - Oh no!
- First of all, the reenacted weight set was very funny.
It's like a PVC piping sprayed with like-
- It probably was.
- Hyper-extension of the neck,
as well as the weight going on,
so it snaps the neck.
- Too much!
- So I'm assuming it caused, again, brain stem injury.
What?
- [Narrator] Uh oh, looks like Bill's billfold is safe.
- I don't know why blood's coming out of her mouth.
That's probably- - I was gonna ask that,
Why the old red stuff?
- The old red stuff for dramatic effect.
Maybe she smashed her mouth on the ground,
so you could be bleeding from a lip laceration,
a tongue laceration, a tooth that cracked open,
but it's not from the systemic effects of her own death.
- [Narrator] Say hello to Brandon.
The once and future king of skateboarding,
and now a burnt out has-been,
but these days he spends his time terrorizing pedestrians.
- Get the hell out of the way!
- What? Why is he so angry?
- [Narrator] Invading security guards.
- Skateboard injuries are gnarly.
That's like a whole other, it's-
- A whole other thing, a lot of ankles, a lot of wrist.
- I wasn't maybe the smartest child in this attempt,
where I was like, oh, I could ride two skateboards at once.
- Oh, each foot?
Yeah, yeah, that's really, yeah, split.
- Not good.
- [Narrator] Brandon was showing flashes of his old self
but an unseen rock brought him back to reality.
Sent him falling- - Oh!
- Oh, he's gonna land on the (laughing)....
- [Narrator] And landing him in a big section
of fresh cement.
- Yeah, you'd be able to get outta that.
- I don't really know the mechanism that would kill him.
I assume that his airway is_
- Oh, he suffocated, he suffocated.
♪ No breathing ♪
- So he died by asphyxiation.
Not having any gas exchange because you can't breathe.
You're passed out.
It's wet rock,
so you can't actually get anything to go in there.
- [Narrator] The impact knocked him out cold.
- Oh!
- [Narrator] And Brandon was about to become
a permanent part of the sidewalk.
- That's why.
Obviously, you can get out of that in a couple seconds,
if you're awake.
But if you're unconscious...
- And if you hadn't made the security guard mad.
- That's such a freak accident.
- [Narrator] Wet cement solidifies
through a chemical process called hydration.
- Okay.
- [Narrator] Unfortunately for Brandon,
it was quick dry cement,
and within a few minutes the unconscious skateboarder,
was set in stone.
- Wow.
- [Jenn] How fast does quick dry cement take?
- A couple minutes.
- If you guys know,
let us know in the comments, but that's crazy.
Maybe it got into his lungs.
The way he slid into that.
- [Narrator] Tonight's party was a chance
to drag home a likely sperm donor,
and drain him of his precious bodily fluids.
(Jordan laughing)
- What?
- Did you know that we actually use whale sperm
for medicine?
Just dropping that one right there.
- I know where raspberry comes from, but don't tell that.
- [Narrator] Leaving nothing to chance,
Cindy picked her outfit carefully.
The most important weapon in her fashion arsenal?
A metal reinforced bra she bought at a lingerie store.
- [Jordan] I'm assuming that the reinforcement
is like below for support, to push 'em up.
- Yeah, I mean there's normally typically a wire.
- We always ask an individual to take off the bra
for an x-ray because we will end up seeing the wires.
- I hope it's for an x-ray, (laughing),
just kidding.
- [Narrator] Her chest loaded with twin torpedoes.
Cindy was ready for action. - Whoa Madonna!
- [Cindy] Hey guys.
- [Narrator] Once at the party,
Cindy made sure she kept the guys abreast of this situation.
- Abreast-
(Jordan and Jenn laughing)
- The play on words are great.
- Oh my gosh.
- [Narrator] Cindy was the life of the party until,
(sound of electric zapping)
(both gasping)
- Come on!
- [Jordan] The chances of getting struck by lightning,
is super rare, right?
- You get struck by lightning,
do you still have some sort of electrical charges,
kind of going through your system,
or is it like one and done, in and out?
- It's one and done, in and out.
You don't die from the burn.
You die from the electricity screwing
up your electrical circuit of your heart.
- Just stops.
- Stops or causes funky rhythm.
- [Narrator] Every guy wanted her, but then,
(electricity zapping)
she bolted.
- She bolted. (laughing)
- You could pass away from getting struck by lightning.
- Yes, it could happen or you could be okay.
So there's a huge spectrum, and you can have burns,
you can have injuries to the nerves.
A lot of different things could happen
and then long term injuries can occur, as well.
- That's so, (beep) that's long term.
- Wasn't your grandmother struck by lightning?
- My grandmother was struck in the butt by lightning,
and she always tells us a story that her hair changed color,
after she got struck by lighting.
I wonder if that was a fib.
- That's a fib.
- So fun, crazy, some of these descriptors we'll call them.
Yeah, really funny.
- We got the merch.
It's limited run, so check out the link,
in the description below.
I like that hat.
It's super cool.
- Beanie, fall weather.
- It looks good.
If you guys enjoyed this,
definitely check out Jenn and I reacting to other episodes
of "1000 Ways to Die".
Check out this playlist right here.
And as always, please make sure you subscribe.
Turn your bell notifications on, and hit that like button.
Thank you so much for watching, and stay healthy my friends.
- Bye.
(upbeat music)