You’ve been lost in the desert for days, and you know that you desperately need something
to eat. That burger joint over there is just a mirage. You drag yourself to the weak shade
of a straggly tree and out from under a rock crawls…a scorpion. Yum! Wait -- you can’t
believe you’re considering it…but --how bad could it be??
No time to be a picky eater…scorpions are packed full of protein—just what you need!
You’d like to avoid those claws, though; how hard can they pinch?? And that stinger!
Just how venomous are these things?? You’re looking at a predatory arachnid here; yes,
arachnid—like a spider! So there are 8 legs to deal with. The least of your worries are
the claws, or pincers. Scorpions can pinch, but you should be more worried about the poisonous
stinger; a sting is way more painful—and dangerous—than a pinch.
There are over 1,500 species of scorpions, but you’re in the desert, so you’re probably
dealing with the Common Desert Scorpion. It’s a brownish-yellow color, and it might have
brown hairs on it. This scorpion uses those hairs to pick up vibrations from the air and
ground to find food. It likes to eat other desert bugs, lizards, and beetles. You see
the bulb-shaped end of the tail? This is the gland that holds its venom—and the stinger’s
right on top. Whew! Now I think your best bet would be to cook
it, but you don’t have that option right now. Minutes pass, and you’re getting more
and more hungry. How big is it?? It looks to be about 5 ½ inches long. Would you even
be able to swallow it?? Sounds like a choking hazard. But you need those calories and the
protein. And there’s an endless supply of scorpions in the desert. But you have to catch
one first. During the day, you do some detective work
and look for holes in the sand around the rock to see if scorpions have burrowed there.
Yes! This means there’s a scorpion den under the rock. To catch one, though, you’re going
to have to wait until dark. Why?? Most scorpions glow under a UV light! Luckily, you have one.
Doesn’t everyone who’s stranded in the desert have a UV light? Just bear with me….
Next, you need to set a trap. Around the perimeter of the rock, or near the holes, dig a hole
large enough to set a cup in, and pack the sand tight around the opening. Eventually,
during the night, the scorpions will leave their den, and a few of them should fall into
the opening. You wait patiently, and keep watch with your UV light. Success!
Now you’ll have to do some food prep. You grab a thin but sturdy stick to hold the scorpion
down. Avoid the stinger at all costs! It’s best to remove that stinger and the venom
gland. Once you remove it, some whitish liquid might leak out from where the gland was. You
raise the wriggling arachnid to your lips, shaking, and…YOU WAKE UP! It was only a
dream! You let out a breath of relief. But what if you hadn’t been dreaming??
The chances of being able to swallow the scorpion whole are pretty slim. Imagine trying to chew
a live scorpion that’s still kicking those 8 legs! Like in the dream, it’s best to
remove the stinger and venom gland; if you don’t, the scorpion would try to sting you
all the way down. A scorpion can’t live in a watery environment—like your stomach—BUT
it can hold its breath for 6 DAYS, so if you do swallow it whole, it could potentially
float around in your stomach for that long! (But probably not.)
Your stomach acids would do some damage to the scorpion, but you could have a bad allergic
reaction: if the common desert scorpion stings the surface of your skin, you’ll develop
a rash. So imagine what would happen if you got stung on the INSIDE. Scorpion venom is
a neurotoxin, which means that your nervous system will quit working, and you’ll eventually
experience some kind of paralysis. But their venom isn’t all bad: scientists have been
doing a lot of research with scorpion venom to see how it could be used for medicine!
But if this really was a survival situation, scorpions ARE a good option. The legs are
surprisingly meaty and, like lobster, the best meat is in the tail and pincers! This
is how you get all that protein and calories from scorpions. Just chew up the outer shell,
and swallow. Your stomach acids can break down the scorpion much easier in pieces.
Let’s go back to that dream for a sec. After you catch your scorpion, you’re somehow
able to start a fire, and decide to cook it. This is much safer: the heat will get rid
of any parasites the scorpion might be carrying, and will basically make that venom gland useless.
Plus, cooking it will make it taste better! And hey, the Chinese believe that eating the
scorpion whole with the stinger will make you strong! The idea here is to skewer the
scorpion; imagine roasting a marshmallow, turning it on the stick so that it’s evenly
cooked. Except it’s a big bug. Once the scorpion has an even brown color,
it’s ready to eat! It should have a nice crunchy texture. You know the whole “it
tastes like chicken” joke? Some say that cooked scorpion tastes like crispy chicken
skin—everyone’s favorite part! Bon appetit! Have you ever tried scorpion, cooked or raw?
If so, how was it? Tell me about it in the comments!
In some countries, scorpion is actually a versatile delicacy! Cooked scorpions are served
as street food, and make a nice soup! You can even buy frozen scorpions in some countries,
so that they can be stored and used later! Try putting some oil in a hot pan, then stir-fry
your scorpions for one minute. Add some seasonings like garlic, salt, and pepper, or your favorite
spice mix. Let them cook for at least 40 minutes—you want to make sure all that bad stuff is cooked
out. Now you have a nice side dish or snack! Want another tasty scorpion recipe? Pan fry
them! Remove the stingers and venom glands. Pour milk into a medium-sized bowl and give
the scorpions a nice soak in it. Ohh, a bug milk bath! Set the milk bowl aside and melt
butter in a large skillet. Now take the scorpions out of the milk and coat them in cornmeal.
Cook the dredged scorpions in your skillet for two minutes on each side. Let the excess
butter drain off and season them with lemon and salt. Even I might try that!
So, if you do get stung, what should you do? Scorpions aren’t just found in remote deserts;
they’re common in hot, dry places like Arizona or parts of Australia, and they can wander
into your home! The sting of a scorpion feels a lot like a bee or wasp sting. (Wasp sting—that’s
hard to say.) If you’re stung, look for symptoms of an allergic reaction, like a rash
or hives. You’ll probably have some swelling and itchiness, so put some ice on it. Then
use an antihistamine or hydrocortisone cream. A scorpion sting doesn’t usually cause a
lot of problems for most people, unless you have a serious allergy to the venom. But it
also depends on what kind of scorpion you’re stung by.
For example, if you live in the Southwest US—states like Arizona, Texas, and Nevada—watch
out for the bark scorpion! They’re brown with a darker back, and up to 3 inches long.
Its sting can cause more worrisome symptoms like fast breathing, a racing heart, muscle
twitches, and weakness. If you think you’ve been stung by a bark scorpion, it’s best
to just go to the emergency room. Take precautions like wearing shoes outside, and wear gloves
while working in the yard. Also, shake out any clothes or towels that you’ve left outside.
So, remember, his bark c worse than his bite, but not worse than his sting.
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