• From cooking your own hand to confusing strangers for Harry Potter characters, the
Planet Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the
worst things we’ve done while drunk.
I’m X and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by clankdog Nixxiom One time Nixxiom went to a party and got outrageously
wasted.
Halfway through the night he wandered outside onto the street where he saw an all-night
bus driving by.
In his drunken state Nixxiom was sure the bus was the balrog from Lord of the Rings,
so he ran out in front of it and shouted, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
Luckily the bus stopped just in time, but Nixxiom still had to spend the night in lockup
for being a public nuisance.
Still better than being roadkill.
Number 9 was submitted by executive_decisions Ramona
One time Ramona had a big drunken night out with her friends.
She caught a taxi home but when she got to the door she couldn’t find her keys.
Since it was so late she just said “Fuck it” and went to sleep right there on her
front porch.
The next morning she woke up and found her keys were in her left hand the whole.
damn.
time.
Number 8 was submitted by Mote-of-Lobross Emojie
Emojie no longer drinks, but when he was younger he used to get very messed up!
One night while out with his friends, the group’s designated driver bailed.
Emojie confidently announced that he’d drive everyone the twenty miles home.
Emojie was so drunk he had to squint to even see!
He remembers blurry street lights, narrowly missing a mailbox and having to pull over
to puke on the side of the road!
Somehow he got everyone home without getting into an accident or being pulled over.
But looking back it was one of the most irresponsible things he’s ever done!
Number 7 was submitted by GraiNotGrey MKyleM When MKyleM went to his very first party his
friends peer-pressured him into drinking Jack Daniel’s.
MKyleM took one huge gulp and the room around him started spinning.
His cool friend told him the spinning would stop if he kept drinking, so MKyleM had another
and another – until pretty soon he was blackout drunk!
He doesn’t remember the rest of the night, but his friends told him he got so wasted
that he ran outside and approached a tall hairy man who was walking his dog.
MKyleM hugged the man and said, “Hagrid!
Oh my god!
You are real!”
He tried very hard to get the stranger to come in and join the party, but Hagrid graciously
declined…
Number 6 was submitted by superfastsnail Hellbent When Pandora turned twenty-one Hellbent threw
her a huge birthday party at his parents’ beach house.
That night, Hellbent got messed up on tequila and decided to go skinny dipping in the ocean.
Pandora worried he would drown so she called the police, who then called the coast guard.
After hours of searching the water with their rescue helicopters, Pandora was devastated.
It was her birthday and there she was thinking her boyfriend had drowned!
But later that night a very drunk and very naked Hellbent turned up in the streets nearby.
Police found him running through neighbours’ yards looking for clothes to steal.
Pandora came this close to breaking up with him and Hellbent promised never to drink tequila
again…
Number 5 was submitted by 9kirby99 Pandora When Pandora was younger she liked playing
games of pool with her uncle.
One night, her uncle decided to take their games to the next level by betting.
He said he would give Pandora ten dollars for every ball she pocketed.
Pandora was like, “Hell yeah!”
She had no idea her uncle was completely drunk when he suggested this bet!
That night they played multiple games of pool and Pandora managed to rack up a cool three
hundred dollars!
When Pandora’s uncle later heard how much he owed her his face went totally white!
It was the easiest money Pandora has ever made and it taught her uncle a valuable lesson
about making drunken bets!
Number 4 was submitted by TheGr3yPill Cidius One time Cidius got very drunk downtown with
his friends.
Since he couldn’t drive, he texted his girlfriend and she agreed to pick him up.
While she was on her way, Drunk Cidius literally forgot he’d arranged a ride with her and
called himself a cab!
When he got home he passed out in bed without a second thought while his poor girlfriend
drove around for an hour looking for him.
When she got home she was pissed off but relieved he was okay.
Later that night, Cidius got up to go to the bathroom.
His girlfriend followed him and found him standing in the bathroom doorway completely
naked peeing all over the floor!
She yelled at him and Cidius had to mop up his own piss with a towel.
To this day he can’t believe his girlfriend put up with so much of his shit.
She even went on to marry him!
What a woman!
Number 3 was submitted by ToxicFlame_V2 Pringle When Pringle was younger he and his brother
bought a bunch of different sodas for a soda-tasting YouTube challenge.
One of them caught Pringle’s eye…
It had a weird name, and the look and consistency of blood!
As they started recording the challenge, Pringle sculled a big glass of blood soda.
It tasted great…
but he immediately felt funny.
Pringle can’t really remember the rest of the night, but he remembers waking up in hospital
with a bandaged hand!
When he woke up, he asked his brother, “What happened…?”
His brother said: “Alcohol happened.”
It turns out the blood soda was actually super strong vodka that caused Pringle to instantly
lose his shit.
He started singing and dancing into the camera, and then disappeared in the kitchen to cook
everyone a meal.
After heating some oil in a pan Drunk Pringle slammed his hand onto the hot pan.
His brother tried to stop him, but Pringle pushed him away, shouting, “Nobody stops
the chef!!!”
Today, Pringle still has burn marks on his hand.
He’s now terrified of any unfamiliar sodas…
Number 2 was submitted by shrimp__daddy Zaraganba One time Zaraganba got really shitfaced at
a school reunion.
When it was over he went back to his hotel but couldn’t get inside his room.
In drunken frustration he kicked down the door and spent the night sleeping in a cupboard.
The next morning he was woken up by a total stranger and some very angry hotel staff.
It turns out the room he’d forced his way into wasn’t his room; it was a stranger’s!
To make matters worse, he’d also thrown up all over their floor.
Thinking back on that night, Zaraganba admits that
he was a terrible person…
Number 1 – What’s the worst thing I’ve done while drunk?