I remember feeling scared well because I
was like I haven't seen you that mad
before day 25 for another stress can
feel like an isolating experience and
it's no secret that the world is under a
lot of stress right now
so we partnered with Keely botanicals a
global skin and shower brand to sit down
with a recently engaged couple in order
to learn how stress impacts their lives
their relationship and their body and
skin my name is Jason Wiley I am the CEO
of Jubilee media and I am engaged to
know I'm melody Hahm and I'm a business
journalist and I am Jason's fiancee Mel
and I met in 2016 and the beginning of
our relationship was actually online I
saw a video of her I reached out to her
on Twitter we ended up connecting we
went on a date in New York which was
crazy because I lived in LA at the time
and I didn't know I was a date at the
time that's right many many months later
through a whole series of events we
ended up starting to date long-distance
and then we dated for about what three
years until in August of 2019 I moved to
LA we got you settled for a couple of
months and then in December I proposed
to you yes
December 29 and then after we got
engaged we decided to move in together
February in February so at that point it
was just a couple days before all these
shelter-in-place orders so that was like
kind of a crazy whirlwind uh hey we're
gonna move in together but now we're
gonna spend 24/7 together yeah it's been
officially I think two months since
we've been living in this place
yes I think because we're with each
other 24/7 and no date nights a physical
touch component when it comes to love
languages I think we've actually shown
more of that during this time but for
sure the physical intimacy in terms of
the regular fire fire has definitely
flattened a little bit I would say yeah
and we've discussed this I think it's as
expected as expected or completely
understandable given the circumstances
and it's hard when you're you know
feeling crappy you're like in your
sweatshirt well it's because there's no
distinct yeah arenas anymore like this
is my workplace this is in my home and
my kitchen and it's not that we don't
feel close it's just the physical
intimacy part I think has been more just
pressed for effort yeah a little more
effort
yes your ability to compartmentalize
you're kind of relentless optimism
I think it's cool to get to see you do
your work I think that you're really
gonna being dynamic I think learning
more about your relationship with
exercising hmm like I knew and I always
respected that you were really good at
being disciplined and exercising but I
didn't realize how much of an effect
that has on your like mental health
mental health I don't feel at full
capacity or I don't feel like I have a
full tank unless I sweat and this is a
frustration of mine something that I
have learned about you is you could sit
at this desk and play Starcraft and then
work and then watch Netflix and eat
shrimp chips and then then sleep then as
soon as the next day just be sitting
here and to be honest like we're very
different in that way because I'm like
okay I need to feel healthy especially
during a health crisis when we have our
health and I think you take your health
for granted and that's probably one of
my biggest frustration Oh like you're
not gonna be strong and scrappy forever
yes to be honest yeah I think we fight
more while we're in quarantine but I do
think we kind of fight a lot but I also
think that we've like learned and grown
as a couple way more during that time -
I agree that's my day oh yeah this has
everything similar because keep in mind
all the different junctures right like
long distance we didn't fight because we
can't whereas now I think the best part
of all of this is that we can't be
passive-aggressive towards each other
because we have nowhere to hide we live
in a one-bedroom apartment we see each
other every day and I think it's made us
a lot more clear and vocal about our
feelings and about how we want to
resolve things and I actually am very
grateful that we are fighting more Wow
but of course in the midst of it there
were for me like there were fights style
like oh this feels really crappy and
there was one time that I remember I
think we were watching a movie something
was happening and then you kept on it
felt like you kept on interrupting me
not like me speaking but like it's like
hey hey hey and I was like please can we
just watch the movie and then it kept on
happening and then I get upset at you do
you remember that you're thinking of
boys stems from the same thing which is
when I feel like kind of disrespected I
guess I'm so Korean don't you disrespect
what it is it's there are certain things
I would never do to someone like if
you're working I would never like pester
pester you or if you were like on a
phone call with one of your girlfriend's
I would never bed you know certain
things you just do all the time when I'm
doing any of those things that I will
ask you like hey do you mind stopping or
hey can you stop and you won't and then
that's when I feel disrespected
sometimes and that's why I had to be
like hey and then you're like why are
you so I remember feeling scared
well because I was like I haven't seen
you that mad before you have said before
oh but when I'm mad I'm really mad
and I'm like yeah yeah like I don't know
what that looks like because to be
honest you are a very overall come calm
peaceful managers stress wallah kind of
person you just are
it took a fight a fire for there to be a
little bit of release I guess or for me
to acknowledge it and let's be clear
like by fire I didn't like no you
weren't throwing things weren't getting
anything I call you names it was like
raising your voice I was just like you
cannot do this to me I think this fight
felt particularly real maybe because
just being in self-isolation it brings
out your vulnerabilities and you know
we're so raw and exposed there's no like
okay see you later
no we have to resolve it now and here
no thankfully we haven't witnessed it
personally it is a thought that crosses
my mind quite a few times when we're out
yeah I feel like you're hyper well my
like my coping mechanism honestly is if
we're walking down the sidewalk and I
see another couple coming I'm gonna be
the ones that preemptively get out of
the way so that they're not looking at
us and thinking oh my God look at these
Asian Americans who are like it can even
be xenophobic against us let's just
avoid a whole competition I don't think
I subscribe to that entirely cuz I'm
like I have every right to walk on this
sidewalk
I'm not moving out of the way so one
time he got mad at me cuz we're on a
walk and you're like I moved out of the
way so they could move I'm like why do I
have to move out of the way I don't
think that's I only I don't get only
because we're Asian American I own it's
for the sixties I understand but I feel
like now you're super like oh it's
because we're agen we need to keep our
distance yeah I think whether it's
consciously or subconsciously we're
making a lot of choices to either
alleviate or avoid the xenophobia or to
respond to xenophobia right or racism
that's happening because it mainly I
just don't I just don't want to stoke
any you don't want to be culpable for
any attack like you want to be yes kind
of relieved of any responsibility and be
honest I think what is happening with a
lot of these acts are people are looking
for inciting instance I think but that's
not okay yeah I'm I don't think it's
okay that we have to think about them
let me just be nicer it's just something
I think about and do yes
no no you said after me so maybe your
hesitation no I've never thought that I
haven't thought that during this time do
you think if we weren't engaged you
would think that no I think the only way
that we wouldn't make it out is if I saw
like a part of your character that I'd
never seen before but to some degree I
think that we know each other very very
well yeah if anything it's shown me to
be honest I think especially because you
run a company and you have all these
employees who are dependent on the
company survival I'm actually seeing a
new side of you where I'm seeing more of
your character and new elements and you
know I'm not one to flatter you and so
this has been a really interesting time
we're just seeing you handle things with
grace and peace and you're like people
first people first and just seeing you
put that in action I think has been
really inspirational so if anything I
think this has actually strengthened my
love for you and my appreciation for you
oh I might be that nice to see yours
yes for me it's definitely like doing
workout classes at home like I need to
even if it's just for 30 minutes or a
quick class or something I need to feel
as though like I had a release and after
to actually jump in the shower and to
feel as though I'm cleansing myself
again right like there's something very
cathartic and healing about that
experience I think for me something that
I can do for myself it's just finding
like some private time alone from me
from you but also I'm the screen from
phone calls and like there's almost
nowhere safe except for like you know in
a shower or something for me
actually one of the best tools to
de-stress is wash up which is the jade
stone and you put some facial oil like
vitamin B facial oil and then you use
the stone and you just massage your face
and it's a thin skin so that's it tight
you rub it against your face and then
you just like massage your temples and
you massage your forehead and it's so
soothing yes
what do you mean your physical but
you're like this all the time I'm
feeling that's more related to how I
sleep yeah but that's because of stress
right yeah I guess it does have a yeah I
guess probably my answer is yes then
it's when I'm stressed is what my sleep
becomes irregular yeah and then when I
don't sleep well is the only time my
skin gets irritated if I'm not sleeping
skin yes I think so I know when you're
stressed because a lot of times there's
like a lot of miscellaneous eating and
snacking that's happening immediately
after I ate a pop-tart literally like
the next morning you'll find a little
pop though oh yeah
to be honest I don't think I take
particularly good care of my skin no but
now you wash your face at least I found
was that more for comfort that I
actually like to mushroom use my face
and mainly is because like I would wake
up in my you know when you wake up and
you just feel so dry
yes basis Sahara Desert yeah it's just
like oh this actually kind of feels nice
well it's also because I said I would
like if you wore lotion sometime yeah so
you listen to me does it Amanda can you
tell yeah your skin looks very nice well
thanks thanks no real that's too much
[Music]
everyone thank you so much for watching
and thank you to cube botanicals for
bringing these people together and
making this content possible for those
of you who don't know Kiwi botanicals is
a sustainably sourced and cruelty-free
line of body and shower products one
reason we're excited to partner with
Kiwi is because Kiwi is making natural
and premium ingredients such as seek
help and manuka honey imported from new
zealand accessible to everyone there are
no parabens no phthalates no animal
testing just good ingredients to help
you and your skin relax in the shower
whether it's reading a book spending
time with loved ones or taking a long
shower self-care doesn't have to be
expensive so check them out at qu
botanicals calm and thank you again for
watching