Mark: Hello, it's Mark here from making yours. And today I'm back with Belinda from beloved.com.au.
Today, we are discussing an interesting topic. It's the real reasons he didn't call back.
So why did he not, you know, give you another call after the first date? Why did he sort
of disappear when you weren't expecting it, and things seem to be going well really early
on in the sort of dating phase? I find this a really interesting topic because the reasons
that he doesn't call back or the reasons that he sort of disappears are not always the reasons
you think they are. And in very often it's, it gets very misconstrued because there's
a few things I hear from women. One of them is you slept with him too soon. Another one
is he was intimidated by sort of strength, intelligence, that sort of one.
Mark: Um, he got scared is another one I hear or even you weren't good looking enough
for some reason. Um, I've heard that one a couple of times as well, which is rubbish
by the way, total rubbish.
Belinda: Yeah, I heard that. He saw me again and didn't think that I was, looked the same or, yeah.
Mark: Total rubbish. Total rubbish. If he's going on a date with you, he's physically
attracted to you. That's a, that's a law. So it's never has anything to do with looks.
My experience has been the real reason men flake. There's a, there's a couple. Um, the
first one is something we've talked about a lot. It's that just on a nonphysical basis,
he wasn't attracted, he didn't want to become a further part of your life and get to understand
your world. The other one that I see a bit, and you would probably recognize this one,
um, from your side of the spectrum as well, is he sensed or she sensed some sort of red
flag. So he might've really, uh, he might've really liked the girl or she might've really
liked the guy. Um, if something came up, a red flag, the gold digger, one I hear a bit
is a reason he can like the girl, but he gets that sense. Um, the no-ambition or she was
kind of one-dimensional is something I hear quite a lot. Like she kind of had that one
thing that she talked about or that, that one kind of know depth of character, almost
like different things. Um, going on that you know, someone can be attracted in a club and
he gets to meet you and you connect on one really cool topic, but then you go on a date
and the whole picture isn't there is one I hear a lot. Yeah. Um, the goals, ambition
one is want to hear a bit, if you're away is a red flag a lot like armed forces or this
is more unusual for the women obviously, but constant away, which is your values. Yeah,
Belinda: I like that. Give me some time.
Mark: But that is a reason that guys kind of go, yeah, well she's going away. I'm not
gonna follow this up. One I do hear is, is agenda. This is a third one is, and women
get this too, but for different reasons, he sensed that she had an agenda more like he's
trying to smell like you're trying to get a relationship rather than a relationship
specifically with him. The other one you hear a lot, which you've probably heard this one
a bit is I'm putting you personally, because you're wonderful. The other one, women hear
a bit, that guy say is I just want to focus on myself or I'm just not looking for a relationship
right now. Yeah, that is, that's a cop-out reason. It's because you don't go on a date
or two with a woman and then go, I'm not ready for a relationship. You don't actively date
and then pull back. So that either comes under the third one we talked about, which is the
agenda like it was too forward. Yeah. Cop-out reasons. The reasons men flake are rarely
the reasons they actually do. Number one. Because...
Belinda: What they were verbalizing.
Mark: Yeah, yeah, the reason they verbalize are really the reasons they do, number one,
because most men aren't emotionally aware enough to even know the reasons themselves.
And number two, is even if they didn't know the reasons, they're not going to tell them
to a total stranger they'd been on one or two dates with. If he didn't find you attractive
or didn't find you passionate, he's not gonna say that to you.
Belinda: What Mark said is absolutely right ladies and gentlemen, you need to have closure
for yourself. So if, if all of a sudden that person has flaked or left for whatever reason,
it might be, don't make that your purpose. Don't worry about what that reason is. Worry
about yourself and yourself is important. So finding love is what your journey is and
every person that you meet is a person that is going to, um, uh, better benefit your life
regardless of the ending, whether it's positive or negative. So grow and learn from those
experiences. Don't get hung up on the negatives because there's more nos than yeses. Um, and,
Mark: It just takes one yes!
Belinda: and it takes one yes. Um, and um, take care of yourself. Don't worry, don't get hung up in the Nos.
Mark: Yeah. Really focus on yourself. I think that's a wonderful place to leave this one.
Um, don't get stuck with the reasons that, that he tells you or he gives because they're
often not the truth. Um, men and women, I think flake for very similar reasons. We either
weren't non-physically attracted to one another. We saw a red flag or we sensed there was some
sort of underlying agenda going on.
Belinda: Yeah.
Mark: I think we'll finish there. Thank you so much for coming in, Belle. This is Belinda
from beloved.com.au. I'm Mark from Make Him Yours. Thank you for joining us today.
Love to hear your thoughts. Comments below. Let us know what you think of this whole discussion.
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