Hi guys, Brad Browning here… welcome to my latest breakup advice video.
This one is going to focus on how to show your ex you’ve changed for the better since
breaking up.
As you’re probably already aware, this is an important part of my Ex Factor program
and something I’ve recommended many times in my past videos here on YouTube… showing
your ex the ‘new you’ is a key step to getting your ex back.
By subtly dropping hints that your life since the breakup has been absolutely awesome, you’re
going to shift the way your ex thinks about you, and cause them to second-guess the breakup.
Before we get into HOW you can show your ex that you’ve changed, let’s talk about
WHY you need to do so in order to get them back.
First of all, there’s no way to ‘talk’ your way back into your ex’s heart.
You can’t use rational reasoning or logical arguments to make him or her love you again.
It’s simply impossible.
The real key to winning them back is to change how your ex perceives you and thinks about
you.
At the time of your breakup, your ex probably didn’t have a very positive image of you
in the back of their mind.
Even if the breakup was friendly and there wasn’t any drama, he or she probably still
thought of you as “needy” or “clingy” or even “just not the right one for me”.
Negative events and memories came to mind first when thinking of you, not happy memories
and positive thoughts.
That’s especially true if you’ve made some mistakes and done some begging or pleading
since the breakup.
So, in short, we know that when your ex hears your name, he or she is thinking about negative
things when we really want them to be focused on the positive memories and your positive
qualities.
You can change this in a couple of ways.
In addition to working on improving your own life and making positive changes that your
ex will notice, which is what I’ll talk about in a second, there’s also some sneaky
psychological tactics you can use to speed up the process.
For more on those methods, please visit my website, BreakupBrad.com, and watch my free
full-length tutorial video.
Now, I’ve already explained WHY you need to show your ex that you’ve changed and
improved your life since the breakup….
What are the kind of ‘self improvement’ changes you should make and show off to your
ex?
Some of the most effective include things like reviving your social life and making
new friends, working towards your career goals, sticking to a new fitness routine, getting
a makeover, or buying new clothes, doing a ‘bucket list’ activity like skydiving
or bungee jumping….
All those things are the type of life changes that your ex will shift your ex’s feelings
about you, subconsciously, and make him or her think, “wow, my ex really is moving
on quickly and living a fun, exciting life since the breakup…
I wonder if I made a mistake walking away from our relationship.”
The hard part is letting your ex know about this stuff without it being too obvious.
You don’t want your ex to know that you’re doing this stuff specifically so they’ll
notice.
The way your ex finds out about these things needs to be natural, not forced.
That means you shouldn’t just pick up the phone and call your ex to brag about your
awesome new life… instead, you need to find ways to drop hints that they can’t possibly
miss.
Here are a few ways to do that:
Leverage social media.
This is the single easiest way to demonstrate your awesome new life without being unnatural…
simply post some pics of you doing something fun, hanging out with new friends of the opposite
sex, etc.
If you can get other friends to tag you in their photos on Facebook or Instagram rather
than posting them yourself, that’s even better.
Don’t post tons of pics and brag in your posts on social media if that’s totally
out of character for you… just make it appear as natural as possible.
Trust me, if your ex is still a ‘friend’ or still ‘follows’ you on social media,
they’ll see the posts and get the message.
If this isn’t an option because you’ve been blocked or you’re not a social media
person, then there’s other options too.
Drop hints through mutual friends.
Maybe you and your ex shared a circle of mutual friends.
If you’re still friends with this crowd, just hang out with them sometime and briefly
mention some of the changes you’ve made to your life since the breakup.
Talk about a new friend you met, a date you went on, or a recent life accomplishment.
Be natural, don’t brag… but if you do this properly, it can be very effective, especially
since your ex will often be asking about you when he or she sees these mutual friends.
Again, be subtle, but be sure to share a few updates of your awesome new life.
Make changes to your appearance.
This one is pretty simple… if you get a new haircut, lose 10 pounds, or update your
wardrobe, your ex will notice when he or she sees you.
You can post pics on social media or wait until you see your ex… either way, showing
them those changes is an awesome way to get the point across without saying a word to
your ex.
I know this sounds dumb, but even minor changes like a new haircut can be enough to make your
ex subconsciously re-evaluate their feelings about you.
Drop subtle, casual hints when speaking with your ex.
If you’re not employing my No Contact strategy right now, or if you have an unavoidable encounter
with your ex, you can simply mention something that will get the point across to your ex.
For instance, let’s say you see your ex at a work party, and he or she asks you how
you’ve been… you can say something like, “I’m doing really well thanks…
I’ve been super busy lately, I joined that kayaking course I told you about and met some
awesome people who I’ve been doing weekend trips with.”
See how you’ve just been honest and relatively humble, but dropped a very obvious hint at
how your life has changed for the better?
You can even say something more blunt, like “Hey!
Guess what?
I finally went bungee jumping with my friend Sarah this weekend!!
Anyway, just to share the news cause I knew you’d be proud of me.”
There’s other ways you can get the news to your ex as well, but those few I just mentioned
are among the easiest and most effective.
The key is to make sure you come across as positive, happy, and enjoying an exciting,
active life… especially your social life.
Make sure you’re not sitting at home crying about the breakup, because that’s what your
ex expects…
they’ll be stunned to hear you’ve made new friends, dropped some weight, joined a
karate class, taken a trip to Japan, and so on.
As silly as this stuff may sound, focusing on yourself and making sure you’re as attractive
as possible in the eyes of your ex… making sure your life is in order, and you’re back
to being an exciting, interesting person again… can make a huge difference to your chances
of getting back together.
Your ex will expect you to be the same person they broke up with, but you’ll shatter that
belief and make them second guess their perception of you.
This causes doubt and second guessing, and it puts some urgency into your ex’s mind
because they’ll see you thriving and wonder if you’re already moving on.
You’ll have plenty of interesting and new stuff to talk about and brag about when you
see your ex again.
Beyond just using these 4 items I covered above, you should also be employing all of
the other psychological techniques that I outline in my full tutorial video at BreakupBrad.com…
so, go and watch that now, and you’ll be well on your way to maximizing your shot at
getting back together with your ex as quickly as possible.
Thanks for watching, thanks for liking and subscribing, thanks for leaving your questions
in the comments below… and I’ll see you in my next video!