-Hi. In this video, we're going to talk
about how you can inspire him to be the man you crave.
[music]
Hi, there. Mat Shaffer, your empowerment,
connection, and relationship coach,
here to share with you some helpful tools
I use with my clients to inspire the men in their life
to step up and become the men that they are craving.
I'm super excited to go through some of this stuff with you.
Before I do, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and don't forget to click the link in the caption or comments of this video
for some great training that I have made just for you
to take your relationships to the next level.
Let's dive into this.
The first thing I really want you to understand
is that men are like bread.
I know that it sounds a little funny,
but I promise it's going to make sense
because I'm going to share with you
a handful of ways that just like bread,
you can get a man to rise
to be the man that you want and need him to be.
The first way to inspire a man
to become the man that you crave is just like bread,
you need to know the right ingredients
for him and you need to know him in the right proportions.
Ask yourself,
do you really know what he needs?
Do you really know how to communicate and connect with him effectively?
Do you know his love languages
or are you just trying to communicate with him in the style
that you like and the style that you need,
because that could be a big reason
that maybe he's not stepping up as he doesn't feel fully acknowledged
and seen for who he is.
Just like bread,
if you don't have the right ingredients and you don't put them
into that pan in the right proportions,
you're not going to be able to create
that masterpiece that you're looking to create.
In addition to knowing his love languages, do you know his attachment style?
Do you know his preferences?
Do you know what he's into in terms of his hobbies and his passions?
Truly, ask yourself,
are you truly connected to all the ingredients
that make him who he is,
and are you willing to meet him there and acknowledge them,
because, for example,
the way that you're going to engage in a relationship dynamic
with a man who has anxious attachment style,
is going to be much different from the way
that you're going to foster a relationship with a man with secure attachment style.
Really ask yourself,
do I know the ingredients that make up the man that I am with?
Am I giving him what he needs in the right proportions?
The next key to inspiring him to step up
to be the man you need is that you got to mix things up.
Just like if you're making bread or anything,
once you have the right ingredients
in the right proportion, you need to mix it up.
You need to keep him on his toes.
It's important that you don't let things go into autopilot.
You want to keep things spontaneous.
Remember, men are looking to be set free
by the women in their life.
Really be conscious of that.
Don't get into a rut.
Invite him to go on adventures.
Hold your frame and don't collapse into his.
What is your frame?
Your frame are all of your preferences, your opinions, your viewpoints.
Men want to be challenged.
It's very attractive and it demonstrates high value
for you to hold your frame and tease him playfully.
Call him out if you believe something and he believes something else,
don't demean or disrespect him for it but be willing to go at him a little bit.
Men really enjoy that.
Men really do need to have that pattern interrupt.
Men want to have that playful back and forth.
Another important part of mixing things up is to truly engage and connect with him.
Be authentically curious about what he's up to.
Be willing to get down in there
and really stir up and ask him deep questions
and have that deep level of connection.
A third tip to inspire a man to rise and become the man you want him to be,
is you really get to make him feel the heat.
Just like bread needs heat to rise, a man needs to feel your passion.
A man needs to really get that sense that you want to be with him,
that you want to touch him,
that you want to make love to him because trust me,
men might not be credited as being very intuitive
but men can feel it if a woman truly craves him.
When you kiss him,
let him know by the way that you touch him and by the way that you pull him close
that you truly want that with him.
Make that level of eye contact that lets him know
that you're hungry for him,
that your body is craving him, that you're craving him on every level.
That's such a hot thing for men
and that's something that's really going to inspire him
to want to step up and step into his masculine.
Lastly and most importantly,
a really powerful way to inspire him to be the man
that you want him to be is just like bread,
you need to give him space in order for him to rise,
because think about it, if you put a loaf of bread in the oven
and you give it the heat and you give it the passion
but then you don't give it space
and you just put something on top of it, what's going to happen?
It's never going to go up above the pan.
Just like that with a man,
it doesn't matter if the ingredients are right,
it doesn't matter if you're bringing the heat,
it doesn't matter if you mix it up wonderfully.
If you do not give this man space,
he is never going to be able to step up
and step into his masculine the way that you want him to.
What's that going to require you to do?
It's going to require you to step back, step into your feminine,
and trust that he can show up for you.
Trust that he's going to be able to take the lead from you.
What you get to do to give a man space to rise to the occasion,
is you get to make a powerful invitation to him.
You get to make a powerful invitation to him to set up dates.
You get to make a powerful invitation to him to take the driving role
in the bedroom, out in the world.
Then you get to step back
and honor him and give him the space to take that step forward.
You throw him the ball
and then you give him the respect of allowing him to take the shot.
Another powerful way to give a man space is if he's in pursuit of his purpose,
if a man is pursuing his purpose,
you get to give him the space to do that and honor his right
to do that because if you don't give him that space,
if you're feeling insecure, if you're in your masculine,
if you're crowding him or feeling threatened
by his pursuit of his purpose
and his mission in his life,
he's going to feel suffocated by that.
He's not going to feel the space that he needs to rise.
It's going to be emasculating to him
and he's probably going to pull away or check out.
These are four tips that you can use to really inspire a man to step up,
step in and be the man that you're craving him to be.
Just think of it, men are like bread.
They need the right ingredients in the right proportion.
Meaning you need to know their love languages,
you need to know their attachment style,
and you need to be able to connect with them and meet with them there.
The way that you communicate with him, the dynamics
of your relationship are going to be based
on your understanding of him.
It got to be mixed properly.
Just like bread, once you have all those ingredients in place,
mix it up.
Connect deeply with him, be curious.
Keep him on his toes.
Hold your frame.
Tease him playfully.
Be a playful challenge.
Don't let things go into autopilot or into some sort of rut or routine.
Be that source of spontaneity and freedom for him.
That's going to inspire him to step up and step in.
Just like bread,
if you want a man to be inspired and a man to rise,
he needs to feel the heat.
He needs to know that you want him.
He really gets to get the sense
that you are enthusiastic
and into being there for him and craving him.
When you kiss him when you touch him and when you make love to him,
he needs to feel that passion and heat coming from you.
Lastly and most importantly, just like bread,
you can have all those other components,
but if you do not give him space to rise,
he's not going to rise.
You get to trust your man.
You get to make a powerful invitation to him to set up dates.
A powerful invitation for him to take command of situations,
in and out of the bedroom.
Let him drive, trust him to drive, trust him to be the person
in that situation.
Throw him the ball,
invite him to make a date,
and then trust he's going to follow through.
If a man feels that you respect him
and you trust him and you honor his capacity to do so,
he's going to step up, he's going to step in.
He's going to be that man that you're craving him to be.
If you don't give him the space, it's going to be emasculating to him.
He's going to feel like you don't trust him
and he's just going to check out.
If you can follow these four steps,
you will inspire him to be the man that you crave.
Just like a delicious loaf of bread, he will rise to the occasion.
I hope you enjoyed this video.
If you did, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and be sure to click the link in the comments or caption
for some more great training I created just for you.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
I'll see you next time on my YouTube channel.
Bye-bye.