How To Treat Others With Respect At Social Events - Professional Conversation Tips - Party
Manners
Hi.
Iím Antonio Centeno, the founder of Real Men Real Style and today, weíre going to
be talking about ìHow do you treat other people with respect at social events?î Okay,
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Okay, so the question that came in is ìHow do I treat others with respect at a social
event?î and this came from a gentleman.
Heís a bit of an introvert and he doesnít, itís hard for him to talk to other people
but heís finding that heís getting invited to more and more of these Christmas parties
and things in which heís having a step up and represent his family and heís going with
his wife and heís just wanting to present himself better and heís got the clothing
down.
Heís been watching the videos but heís, ìHow do I talk with these people?î so Iíve
got 5 things that you should be thinking about when youíre at a social event and you follow
these, youíll be in good shape.
Number one, introduce yourself.
People have gotten really away from this.
It used to be that if youíre having a conversation, you see somebody come up to join and if youíre
not sure that they know each other, you introduce them.
Most people donít even think to do this so you really canít wait to be introduced.
Maybe give it a couple seconds but once youíre kind of acknowledge as youíre joining the
conversation and if you donít know one of the people present or you think itís been
a while and maybe they didnít remember who you were, be polite and introduce yourself
and give your name.
Always give your name and to both parties so that people remember and hopefully theyíre
going to say it so they remember your name and make sure you get their name and that
you remember it.
And thatís the second thing, remember names.
Now, itís just really hard for people and probably ñ Iím bad at myself.
I always forget names and the trick that I use and I always try to associate it with
something.
So if they tell me their name is Sidney then I think, ìOkay, Sydney Australia.î And I
think somehow I associate them with Australia or they tell me their name is Rebecca then
I think, ìOkay, Rebecca.
Thatís a good friend of mine, his wife.î So I somehow associate that and I also try
to say it.
I maybe even ask them, ìOh, do you go by Beca or do you have a nickname?î
So we spend a little bit of time talking about their name, maybe just a couple of seconds
but it helps me form that association and sometimes I donít even listen to what theyíre
almost saying to me.
Iím trying to say their name again and again.
Make that association and the first few times you respond to them, say their name.
Memory isnít just about whatís up here, itís about what rolls off our lips and the
physical process of actually saying the name a few times and people love hearing their
names so donít worry.
Itís not going to be a bad thing and you may actually be helping other people in the
conversation if they forgotten that Rebeccaís name is Rebecca but she likes to go by Beca.
Thatís her ñ what she likes to be called.
The third thing, listen.
Okay so think about it.
Youíve got two eyes, youíve got two ears and youíve got one mouth.
Therefore, you should be listening and observing probably four times as much as you should
be talking.
If you find that youíre carrying the conversation, you need to pull back because people, they
get bored real easy.
I mean you could talk all day about your business, I know I can.
You get me talking about Real Men Real Style in a tailored suit, yeah.
Set aside a couple hours because I can talk all day about my companies but you know what?
Most people find it boring unless someoneís really engaging you and itís a one on one
and they keep coming in with good questions and you can tell that this is something theyíre
almost taking notes on.
You donít want to continue to talk.
What you want to do is turn and ask questions about them.
Really sincerely, be curious about the other person because often times when weíre talking
with somebody, weíre not listening.
Weíre actually preparing to speak ourselves and that you want to get away from that.
Listen and really pay attention to that other person because people really like it when
other people pay attention to them and if youíre just meeting somebody for the first
time, probably one of the best ways that you can get them to form a positive impression
of you is actually for you to ask good questions about them and let them expand about everything
thatís interesting in their lives, whether itíd be their children, whether itíd be
their business, whether itíd be their preference for food.
Really take the time to get to know this individual and form a true relationship and a good bond
and the other part is respecting what other people say but not losing your dignity if
they start going into gossip, if they start talking bad about somebody, if they take it
down the religionÖ
Öor the political slant, at that point you can kind of lead a conversation by maybe changing
the subject by asking other questions and going back, kind of going back to the focus
and being very polite about it but saying, ìOh you know?
But I was really interested about your business.
I was really interested in hearing more about your family.î
If they continue to go down that route then this is the final thing and this happen with
all conversations, you need to excuse yourself.
You need to step away from the conversation.
Often times, thereís other people you want to speak with and simply say, ìExcuse me.î
Perhaps you need to go get something to drink.
Perhaps youíre hungry.
Perhaps you see someone you need to go talk with but always be prepared to excuse yourself
and to move on from the conversation.
And always, when youíre leaving, shake hands.
If youíre meeting somebody for the first time, repeat their name and that is how you
treat others with respect at a social event.
So hopefully that helps the gentleman that wrote the question and I know itís hard for
many of us because weíre introverts and weíre not used to talking with other people.
Itís actually hard for me a lot of times but you just need to get out there and shake
hands and smile and just ask some good questions.
All right, this has been Antonio Centeno with Real Men Real Style.
Iíll see you in the next video.
Bye-bye.