♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK.
SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND JON BATISTE.
JON, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> Jon: I'M SWINGING OVER HERE.
I'M SWINGING.
♪ ♪ ♪ HEY!
>> Stephen: GUESS WHO'S MY STAGE MANAGER TODAY?
COME ON, SAY HI.
>> Jon: WAIT, WHERE DID YOU GO?
I LOST YOU.
>> HI, JON!
I CAN'T SEE YOU.
>> Jon: WE CAN'T SEE YOU.
I CAN'T SEE YOU OVER HERE.
I CAN HEAR YOU, THOUGH.
HEY, EVIE, HOW YOU DOING?
>> Stephen: SHE'S-- YOU'RE TOO DAZZLING.
YOU BUSTED THE LENS, DARLING.
CAN YOU NOT SEE US, JON?
>> Jon: NO, NO.
>> Stephen: WE CAN SEE YOU.
>> I THINK I NEED TO BE FIRED.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
>> I CAN'T DO THIS.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
>> IT'S REALLY HARD.
>> Stephen: IT IS HARD, ISN'T IT?
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE'VE GOT TO GO, BUT LET'S HIT IT, JON.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
>> Jon: SOME DUKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY!
MASS SOCIAL ISOLATION IS CAUSING US TO DISCOVER ALL SORTS OF
SURPRISING AND UNEXPECTED STUFF.
FOR INSTANCE, HAVING TO WALK AROUND IN A FACE MASK HAS TRULY
BROUGHT HOME FOR ME JUST HOW TERRIBLE MY BREATH IS.
CAN YOU GET BRAIN DAMAGE FROM YOUR OWN CHILI BURPS?
IT'S LIKE BEING LOCKED IN A TRUNK WITH ROADKILL.
COME ON, IT'S SHOCKING!
ANOTHER UNEXPECTED EFFECT FROM THE PANDEMIC.
APPARENTLY, "SELF-ISOLATION IS MAKING PEOPLE HORNY."
SO, IF YOU'RE FEELING A LITTLE HOT UNDER THE COLLAR, IT MIGHT
NOT BE A FEVER.
EITHER WAY, STAY AWAY FROM YOUR GRANDMA.
RESEARCHERS HAVE OFFERED POTENTIAL EXPLANATIONS FOR
INCREASING LIBIDOS, INCLUDING, "MORE LEISURE TIME," "FEWER
OUTLETS FOR SOCIALIZING," AND "THAT THE FEAR OF DEATH CAN
PROMPT MORE SEXUAL DESIRE AS A COPING MECHANISM."
THAT'S A BIT MORBID, BUT IT DOES EXPLAIN THE DIRECTOR'S CUT OF
"THE RING."
♪ I'VE BEEN REALLY TRYING BABY ♪
>> Stephen: BUT I BELIEVE THAT DESPITE THIS, SEX ISN'T THE
THING THAT PEOPLE ARE REALLY HOT FOR.
AND I AM HERE TO HELP.
>> HEY, THERE.
LYING WEAK AT NIGHT?
♪ ♪ ♪ IF YOU'VE SEEN THE NEWS, YES.
YOU'RE ACHING FOR SOMETHING FORBIDDEN, LONGING FOR BEHAVIOR
THAT'S SO, SO WRONG.
WELL, "THE LATE SHOW"" HAS FOOTAGE OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU
CRAVE: BASIC HUMAN INTERACTION.
HIGH-FIVES.
HANDSHAKES-- FIRM HANDSHAKES.
WE'RE TALKIN' HUGS.
THEY JUST MET.
WE'VE ALSO GOT FOOTAGE OF MEETINGS WITH COWORKERS THAT GO
ON AND ON AND ON.
PEOPLE WAITING IN LINE AT THE BANK SHARING THAT DIRTY LITTLE
BIN PENN ON THAT DIRTY LITTLE CHAIN.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN.
AND WE KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE-- GROUPS OF 10 OR MORE,
TOTAL STRGS.
IT'S A NO-NAMES GAME STAND.
AND FEAST YOUR EYES ON NANA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY: OLD PEOPLE
MINGLING FOR HOURS, NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.
( DOORBELL RINGS ) OH!
AND WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR?
IT'S THE HOT YOUNG PIZZA GUY.
AND GUESS WHAT HE'S DLIFERLG?
PIZZA.
FOR SHARING.
OH, YEAH.
"THE LATE SHOW'S"" ARCHIVE OF BASIC HUMAN INTERACTION.
FLATTEN YOUR CURVE.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR
AND MAYOR PETE BUTTIGIEG.
♪ ♪ ♪