-Hey guys.
So recently, I've been noticing another trend.
A lot of people have been posting videos titled,
[bleep] Woman Say
or [bleep] Men Say,
and I am sick and tired of seeing these types of videos
and I'm sure you are too by now.
That's why I made a whole bunch more. Take a look.
-That's a-- that's a-- that's a--oh, my...
-What the hell?
Can you hear me?
Mom! -Come on!
-Bring me a Hot Pocket, the--the pizza.
-Back out, back out!
-Stupid campers, man.
-Back in, back in!
-I'm on your team!
-Okay, who flashed me?
-Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod--
Oh, my God-- Yeah, oh, my God!
-And this mother[bleep] was like,
"[bleep] you."
This mother[bleep] was a [indistinct]
and so I was like...
"Oh, you from that gang?
'Cause this mother[bleep] got a snake tattoo."
Like, oh [bleep] was gon' happen.
"I don't give a [bleep] if you a teacher.
You still gon' get it mother[bleep]"
[speaking indistinctly, multiple bleeps]
...happy?
That's when I realized,
Snape a good dude.
He was looking out for Harry Potter the whole time.
-That's what's up, Hogwarts for life!
-Ow!
[printer whirs, shredder whirs]
[hing creaks, water hisses]
[microwave beeps, lamp clicks on]
[dryer whirs] -I'm a banana.
-[cutesy voice]: Hey there, wittle poopsy-woopsy
doopsy-woopsy-doopsy-coopsy-boopsy-woospy!
-What the fu--
-I walk into my cat and trip over my dog,
kiss a princess and turn into a frog.
The sunlight! [hisses]
-It's bright. [hisses weakly]
Don't you cut me o--
-Dook!
-Hey, is that you mowing your lawn at 9 in the morning?
Good idea.
-Babe, I love talking to you on the phone for hours,
especially when there's silent pauses.
-Who's Justin Bieber?
-I love dieting.
-Oh, my God, yes, I love traffic.
-Oh, my God, yes, traffic.
Uh, BlackBerrys can do way more than iPhones.
-God, I love waiting for the bus.
-Another red light. Love it!
[construction sounds]
-Don't you love construction in the morning?
-Oh, I can talk.
-Twilight movies? Way better than the books.
No, take your time crossing the street; it's cool.
I'm so happy unicorns don't exist.
-'Kay, babe. I'll see you later tonight.
-Who's that? -It's my mom.
-Does someone have a flat tire?
I love when the toilet seat is cold in the morning.
-Non-alcoholic beer? Genius.
-Kidz Bop? Genius.
-T-Pain sounds way better without Auto-Tune.
-Oh, Siri, you're always right.
-I'm so mad the SOPA bill didn't get passed.
-You know where I really want to go this summer?
-Where? -South Dakota.
-You know where I really want to go this summer?
-Where? -The DMV.
-You know where I really want to go this summer?
-Where? -The hood.
-I think Jersey Shore is educational.
-You know who's better than Kobe Bryant?
-Who? -Luke Walton.
-I love cleaning!
LeBron James? Clutch.
-Teehee!