The year is 2023,
and America's future President has traveled back in time
for a life-saving public service announcement.
It’s President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho,
come here to get my shit checked out.
Today, we dive deep into President Camacho.
Very deep.
This is Inside President Camacho.
Bring the m*****fucking doctor in here.
Hey Doctor. You the guy!
You comfortable?
I'm comfortable, man.
I came from the future to get the best care now so that I can live forever.
Well, there is these polyps that could grow inside your colon
and can become a colon cancer.
So what we want to do is find them early,
remove them, so you never get the colon cancer.
Bam!
You would be on my cabinet. I'm down with that.
- I'm down with that. - Okay.
So this is what we're about to do right now?
So basically, the goal is just to figure out whether you're at risk.
It does affect black men more than it affects other men.
What you'll see today is that it's really easy to do. It's painless.
Me and you, we’re simpatico!
I want to tell you about all the options you’ve got.
The first is you could do an at-home stool test
that your doctor can send you, called a FIT test.
The second option, called the Cologuard.
That's a box that comes in the mail.
And we analyze that too, and that tells us whether you are at risk.
A 3rd option, which is the one that I think you're going to do today,
is called the colonoscopy.
Now with that, we look inside with cameras,
and if we see something, we take it out at the same time.
I am the President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew.
Not Mountain Don’t.
And today, I'm about to Mountain DO-DO!
- Thank you very much. - You got it, baby.
HA HA!
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
I’m about to get all geared up.
I'll see y’all in a minute.
Yeah bitches! Woop woop! I'm coming through!
President Camacho was then taken back for his procedure.
Again, he actually did this.
No presidential look-alike or stunt double.
I’m ready to get some of that anesthesia.
First of all, I don't want to see no dollop of the polyp.
You know what I’m saying? Not one bit.
My ass about to be clean as glass.
See you later, bitches!
You're in the recovery room.
You're all finished. We just hooked you back up to the monitors.
- Time flies. - Everything went well.
You're all done. You're in the recovery room.
Wow.
And I didn't even feel anything in my asshole.
Look at that.
It’s good.
Talk to me. How did it go, Doctor?
You did really well today.
I'm actually very happy to tell you
you had a few small polyps that I removed.
They're the kinds that can grow up to be a problem later.
But in your case they won't, because you took care of business today.
Smartest-ass doctor in the world.
Was it uncomfortable?
No.
Do you have any pain?
I feel nothing.
Are you nauseous?
No.
Are you hungry?
Yes.
You are the best.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Yeah!
Son of a bitches.
Y’all got to understand, this is it.
This is how you got to do it, every time.
And in a quick-and-painless 30 minutes, President Camacho
was able to save himself before it was too late.
Almost like time travel.
To Camacho's polyps...
Man, those little pimps!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Okay. Shut yo butts.
Listen.
This shit will literally save your life.
So if you 45 or 455 like me,
get your ass checked.
This shit is killing way too many of my constituents.
Especially black men.
And I need you all alive,
to vote for Camacho in 2020FO.
So I'll see you bitches in November.
Camacho out.