How did you come across Mooji's pointings?
[Nirmal] I always had a love of God in my heart.
It may not have been so obvious as it is now, since meeting Guruji,
but there was a love of God.
I was always searching for something to fulfil that.
Sometimes searching in the wrong ways,
but always searching for something to fill that hole that was inside.
And I was a bit wild, when I was young,
I will be honest, very wild.
And I had a close friend, who is a sangha member here today.
And he was going through the same thing that I was going through.
One day he told me, 'There is this Master that I have found.
I found this Master. It's incredible.'
So I watched a video that he sent me,
and I didn't understand a word of what he was talking about!
But there was something that was just drawing me in.
So I took a break and didn't watch it again for a while.
I actually don't remember the moment when I started again.
The next thing I knew, I am watching it everyday!
I was obsessed. At work, on my lunch break,
everyday, just watching satsang all the time.
I was doing it at the same time as my close friend was doing it.
He was even going a step further where he was going to retreats.
I felt, 'I can never ever go to a retreat!
It's too much for me to go to a retreat as well.'
Then my friend went to work, one day, at a retreat in London.
And he said, 'I can get you in for one day, for two sessions'.
I said, 'OK'. I remember going into that hall,
and all I remember is Guruji coming in, and I just saw all this light.
I have never experienced something like that before
where the whole room was filled with him.
Just this pure white light, but it had a tinge of purple as well,
which has a history as the colour
of something associated with Jesus Christ, and kings as well.
And I just couldn't stop staring at it!
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Inside me there was so much peace,
so much beauty that I didn't realise was there.
And from then on, it was just a very fast train inside.
What was your first retreat with Mooji like?
I was struggling a bit, I'll be honest with you.
Many things were coming up. I felt very uncomfortable in satsangs, very!
Even flies coming on my face felt like rockets.
I couldn't concentrate. I was trying everything.
I was uncomfortable sitting on the floor, or on a chair.
So many things were coming up, but physical things rather than mental.
And on the last day, I put my hand up and he pointed to me.
I stood up and I went to the mic.
And this flood of energy came towards me,
and I was like stuck in headlights. I didn't know what to do.
And he was speaking to me.
I believe I asked a question.
I said, 'I don't want to go to London the same, or as a person'.
And then he began speaking to me, but I couldn't hear a word!
All I heard was, 'dhoosh-dhoosh' in my ears. That's all I heard.
Then he was speaking to me and I said, 'I can't hear you.
All I can hear is ''dhoosh-dhoosh''.' And then he said to me,
'Yes, but the 'dhoosh-dhoosh-dhoosh' is heard in this as well'.
And then he spoke some other words.
And all I remember was,
I felt the whole curtain had been lifted on the whole of my existence!
And it just ...
I can't put it into words right now, but it was ...
It is funny, I can't find the words.
I can just feel the experience right now.
It was a complete change.
I just saw the universe had been revealed to me in that moment,
when he spoke those words. And I didn't remember a word!
I didn't hear a word he said. It was just fully energetic at the time.
I went back to sit in my seat,
and from that moment on nothing was the same for me.
What have you discovered from following Mooji's guidance?
Everything!
I can breathe again!
I can breathe again.
Just everything.
It is countless.
I can't begin to say the things
he has blessed me with by my being here with him,
in every aspect, my life here,
my life even going back to see my family, in every single aspect!
I don't feel there is anywhere I am not with him.
He is not apart from me.
He's like ... Me and my father are one, in the highest way.
If I am honest with you, something is part of this land,
is part of every sangha member.
It is just a harmony with the divine.
This is what I have found.
Or I don't even want to say, 'I found'.
I have died in here.
And there is a continuing death every single moment.
It is death to ... I would put it in simple terms,
death to what brings you misery, what brings suffering,
what makes you deny the true happiness that you are inside,
and that you are loved.
It's very simple for myself that you are loved and you are love,
and there is even something that is beyond that, as well.
If death is too strong a word,
it is just coming back to life as well, coming back to life.
Could you speak about the significance of Bhajans for you?
For bhajans, it is singing praises to the Lord,
singing praises to God, the divine.
It is such a joy to sing together, with one another.
And I mean with everybody! It is just such a power.
It is just very powerful! What more to say?
Off stage, like every single team,
everything in Sahaja is here for our growth.
And there are challenges that come.
But
it has brought powerful introspections
to see where you stand when the praise comes,
when the criticism comes,
when the non-acknowledgement comes. Does it affect you as well?
That has been a powerful thing for me. Do you move?
Because you don't ask for these things, but they come.
Also to get over your things as well,
because you go up there and you are singing.
You are representing the name of God; you have to drop everything.
And it is amazing how, when you go there,
something drops it for you every time.
Also, to have the love and support of our sisters and brothers,
and to see that we are all in satsang together.
This has been very evident for me
that there is no one, who isn't going through their own transcendence.
Coming from a Christian background,
how is it to sing the names of Hindu Gods?
I always say, I just love God.
Let me clarify for you. It is a good question.
It's funny, somebody asked me this question the other day.
A very strong Christian said, 'I just don't get the Indian Gods thing'.
And what changed for me very strongly
is when I went to India for the first time.
Because when I went to India, which was before I came to Sahaja,
I had never experienced a place where it was so magic-filled.
It was the energy, it was palpable, this powerful spirit-energy,
whatever you want to call it. It was just, 'What is this?'
And I went to some chantings in India,
and I just saw the devotion, and I saw the love,
and I felt the same energy, I felt as if I was in church in a choir.
Even more powerfully at the time!
Even more powerfully at the time, because I hadn't been ...
Something wasn't mature enough to see it in everything,
so when I went to India, I was like, 'What is this?
God is so palpable here! It is so powerful.
Spirit is so powerful.
The Beingness, the happiness, the joy,
it is just from chanting these names!'
In Krishna, there is something so Christ-like
in Krishna's energy, in Rama's energy.
I had a strong affiliation with Rama, Krishna and Hanuman.
His pure devotion to Sita and Rama,
I was like, 'Wow!' It was just devotion! There was a love of God.
It was a love of God, and I just felt it so strongly in my heart.
And just seeing how humble and devoted the Indian people were,
it just completely [exhales]. This can only be of good.
If they are chanting these names then it can only be the highest.
Through listening to Krishna and Rama,
it brought me back again to Christ as well, the power of Christ.
I went back to church and I saw the power of it everywhere.
It was kind of unifying in just showing me that,
God has many expressions, but below it, God Is. [exhales]
And then I can sing to Krishna, Shiva,
Mahalakshmi, and all the sages and saints,
because I know they have the same core of God,
the same material of God.
Could you share one impactful moment you had with Mooji?
One time I asked Guruji a question.
I said to him,
'Father, I am discovering something, and I don't want to lose it,
because I have a habit of being distracted.
So can you give me a blessing, or any guidance?'
And he said to me, 'The best thing I can say to you,
may your ground always be the unchanging place,
the place of awareness,
because the awareness is the only thing that isn't a function.
Your feelings, your emotions,
all the things that happen in front of you are functions.'
He said one very powerful thing to me.
He said, 'Even your spirituality is a function'.
And that got me. [laughs]
'So, when this is your ground', he said,
'I do not worry about you at all'.
So that is the most powerful pointing Guruji has said to me.