hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're gonna learn about five simple tricks to grow your
confidence now let's begin number one conquering conflict conflict and confidence well they just
don't go well together when something seems like it could go wrong your fears often [ __ ] your
confidence if something actually does go wrong then shame and guilt can have the exact same
effect because conflict has so much a negative potential you might avoid it at all costs but this
mindset is keeping you from growing into a more confident person we derive the most self esteem
from our ability to overcome obstacles conquered conflicts show you exactly what you're capable of
those feelings of pride and triumph will boost your performance and motivate you to tackle new
challenges you can easily grow your confidence by confronting and resolving small conflicts it could
be anything from an argument with a co-worker to a clash of personalities it's important
to practice handling those little conflicts effectively eventually you'll work your way up
from minor issues to major ones and by then those conflicts won't seem nearly as intimidating your
fears will unravel and your confidence will soar giving you the tools to handle even the rockiest
situations number two partial objectivity how can someone be truly objective about their own life
can you really remove all personal biases from any decision most people would argue that you couldn't
and they're probably right it's impossible to make something 100% objective everything you
think or everything you know has been influenced by something in fact the person that you are is
largely a product of the world around you your parents and friends shaped your personality your
school molded your interests the entire framework that you use to judge everything comes from
somewhere and this means you can never really remove yourself from any choice that you make
but it doesn't hurt to try imagine you're starting your first day at a new job it's a higher position
than you've ever had before you're determined to excel but you're nervous about making a good first
impression you want to seem strong and confident you want your co-workers to like and respect you
but all you're feeling right now is anxiety and self-doubt you're convinced that the moment you
step into that office they'll see right through you they'll know exactly how scared you are so
how can objectivity help you make the ideal first impression objective thinking will train you to
block out your fears you can free yourself from that swirling vortex of doubts and uncontrollable
emotions objectivity gives you a much-needed sense of control over your life because it shows
you where you need to grow in other words being objective before your first day on the job will
force you to change your perspective instead of constantly worrying about how others will
perceive you you can reflect on how you see yourself do you think you're confident do you
think you deserve their respect ultimately your goal isn't to anticipate the judgments of every
person in the room that's just not realistic even if you're the most confident person in the world
there will always be people who want to criticize you it also helps to remember that everyone in the
room has their own set of insecurities none of them will judge you harder than you judge
yourself because they already have enough to worry about while you're scared of looking insecure they
might be worried about coming off as annoying or lazy so when I say be objective I mean try to view
yourself from the lens of one hypothetical person who isn't you if you can satisfy that person then
you have nothing to worry about but what's the point of knowing all this if objectivity isn't
even possible well that isn't entirely true you can't be 100% objective but you can be let's say
80 or 75 percent partial objectivity is way better than none it still shifts your perspective builds
confidence and relieve stress partial objectivity will still show you where you're going wrong it
really isn't important that you learn how to be completely objective right away but don't
waste your time worrying about little biases here and there the simple fact that you're trying to
look objectively at your life is often enough to change it number three destructive modesty
people who struggle with confidence frequently fail to see what they have to offer the world
this is especially common for new artists and entrepreneurs you look out on the thousands of
professionals who carve their niche in the world and you feel like you don't belong it seems like
each one of them has a special something that you just don't a message to send change they
want to make or maybe you do have something you want to say you're just too worried about what
other people will think to say it in certain situations this kind of modesty isn't terrible
it's always beneficial to keep yourself and your work in perspective it helps you to manage
expectations and relieve pressure it will help you stay humble in the face of failure but that
same modesty will diminish your confidence it'll keep you from understanding your worth it's easy
to look at all the other amazing people in your field and value what they have to offer but it's
much harder to feel the same way about something you've created to build your confidence remember
that whatever you create will be one-of-a-kind whether you like it or not even if you have the
same idea as someone else the fact that it's yours will completely change how it turns out
just look at all the different companies out there that make the exact same product or the
artists that experiment with identical subject matter you may not think you have anything to
offer the world but your unique perspective is plenty number four prepare for nightmares lack of
confidence often stems from a fear of the unknown when you're thrown into a new situation you might
feel out of control you're jumbled is old and confused which will destroy your self-esteem
you might feel paralyzed simply because you don't know what's waiting on the other side here take
this example you're working an office job that you don't really like you always talk about how
you want to pursue your dream in the arts but there aren't any openings suddenly the ideal
position opens up you could submit an application right away yet you let the opportunity pass you
by instead of going for your dream you stick with the same old office job why because it's easy and
familiar you know what's expected of you you know how to handle challenges yes you've always dreamed
of having that position but you don't know if you can actually handle it you aren't confident enough
to dive headfirst into the unknown luckily there's an easy trick to help you move past that fear you
have to prepare for the worst situation that you can possibly think of start by visualizing it step
by step you can even act it out if you want to the most important part is that you experience your
biggest nightmare way ahead of time after you've rehearsed your nightmare you should figure out how
to stop it from happening there's nothing wrong with taking precautions people often get scared
that being cautious brings your fears to life but that isn't how it works in fact addressing your
fears directly often stops them from impeding your performance so for example if you're worried about
messing up your speech you should bring note cards with you now that doesn't mean you're doomed to go
blank in the middle of your presentation nine times out of ten simply having those note cards
in your pocket will keep you from using them in other words taking precautions isn't just a
solution when things go wrong it will also keep your nightmares from coming to life number five
defend yourself your lack of confidence might come from the people around you they might belittle
your ideas or make you question your goals they can fill your head with so many doubts that your
confidence just falls by the wayside it's tempting to take what other people say is fact especially
if you have low self-esteem you might naturally assume that everyone knows what's best for you
better than you do well look let's say for example that a classmate shoots down one of your ideas for
a presentation most people would believe them they look down on their own ideas and then feel
hesitant to say anything else instead of taking a leadership role they just fade into the background
all because someone didn't like their idea but why does one person's opinion feel like such a big
deal well when someone doesn't like what you're saying it doesn't seem like just one person you
wonder if everyone else is thinking the same thing oftentimes the spotlight effect will start to kick
in you feel like you're the center of every bit of negative attention you start to imagine all the
critical things that people might say to you and before long you can't even think about the project
because you're too worried about being judged so how do you turn this situation around how can
someone else's criticisms build your confidence instead of destroying it when someone insults your
ideas or goals stand up for yourself if you liked an idea enough to say it out loud then it's worth
defending those doubtful voices in your head may not go away that easily but it's important that
you actively believe in yourself this builds confidence by forcing you to value your own
opinions more than other people's yes constructive criticism is important sometimes you need other
perspectives to see something clearly but most of the time your opinion matters far more than
anyone else's so if you believe in something don't let anyone tear you down hey thank you
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