(rock music)
- [Adam] Yeah baby!
- [Blake] Come on now!
Wow.
- Clunker, Clunkville.
- We got some real pros here.
- This is going on 45 minutes guys.
- Someone make a shot please.
- Yo dude.
- Hey Durst, who can make a smaller face?
- Adam.
- Thank you.
- Super small face.
- That's nothing to be proud of.
- You owe me a buck or two for that.
- On to more important things.
Do you guys know what sexting is?
- Yeah, I've heard of that. Sexting for sure.
- Okay cool, 'cause I think I just got super deep into it.
- Really?
- Well apparently I went out with
some girl named Annette last night.
I was pretty drunk so I don't really remember her,
but she's been sexting me all morning.
So she goes "What happened to you last night?
"You bailed on me."
- That's not like you, dude.
- I know.
So I go "Sorry, what are you doing now?"
She says "Nothing" so I go "Well we're having a shindig.
"You oughta come by."
She goes "I'll think about it.
"In the meantime, you can think about this."
Boom!
(Adam and Blake cheer)
- Nipple!
Nipple shot! That is a good looking nipple.
- Totally a nipple.
Great job, wow!
- That's the nipple of my dreams.
- Why don't you get her over here, man?
Send her a pic of your dick.
- Okay, she just sent me a picture
of her nipple, so I'm not sure-
- Well that's the order of things.
It goes nipple, dick, ****, butthole.
- Oh okay, all right, well I mean
I've never done, wait, whose butthole?
- Dude, I saw it on Dateline.
- Come on dude, get some blood in that sucker!
- Ow, don't, come on man!
- [Blake] Seal the deal, dude!
- All right, I'll do it!
I'm gonna do it!
- I'm gonna seal the deal! - Right on, dude!
- Get rid of that hat!
- Ooh! - Ooh!
♪ GQ time, GQ time ♪
♪ Everybody time to get GQ time ♪
- Oh man, are you gonna have sex with this girl, Anders?
Oh yeah.
Magnifique.
- Nice!
- Oh okay, that's definitely illegal.
- That was good.
- Countdown to Vagina Town.
- Yeah baby! - All right!
- Also washed my rear end in case
I gotta take that picture later.
- Wow, you did that.
Awesome.
Great.
Very cool.
- Whose phone is that?
That's cool.
- Thanks, it's Vanessa's actually.
She just got a text from you.
That's kinda weird.
Forward to, select all contacts, and send.
Vanessa, thanks for the phone.
Enjoy your new wallpaper.
(phones ringing)
(partygoers laughing)
That's his.
That's his dick.
Right here.
The nipple of your dreams
is actually my nipple of your nightmares.
(Adam and Blake laugh)
Right?
Yeah.
Oh that's embarrassing.
- This isn't funny.
There was a weird shadow!
The lighting in the bathroom was strange!
(beatbox music)
♪ I'm fresh ♪
♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪
♪ You gotta be fresh ♪
- Oh nice.
Dude, how are you gonna get down from the roof?
You're gonna be hammered.
- So this is where my "friends" are.
- Hey look who it is, it's Dick-embe Mutombo.
(Adam and Blake laugh)
- Look who it is, it's...
Your dick is so tan, bro!
- No.
- No?
You didn't like that one?
- You know, when you kick a dude and he's already down,
he's not likely to share his blunt with you.
- You don't smoke.
- I just bought this from a girl and I'm smoking it tonight.
- You're gonna smoke with us right?
- I don't have to.
- Dude, you should be thanking us because without us
all those super hot chicks wouldn't have seen your tan dick.
- Yeah, I heard a girl down there talking about you, man.
It's basically like you're rounding
third base headed for home.
- Wait, wait, was it Vanessa?
She's got tattoos, man.
I'm into that lately.
- Oh, here we go.
- There's something about ink in a-
- Poop dollar! - Poop dollar!
- [Adam] There's poop in it!
There's poop in the dollar!
- [Anders] All right, whose poop this time?
- Oh that's all Adam.
- Gross.
- It's weird how unembarrassed I am by that.
- Come on guys, this is a Sunday fun day!
Let's get!
Crazy!
Give me that.
(hip hop music)
Oh yeah!
(Blake laughs)
(Anders coughs)
- Cool.
- It's early in the morning.
I'm not gonna eat a pepperoni pizza.
- This is the kind of fertilizer,
you're gonna wanna lay down a thick layer.
- I understand that you're in the bathtub.
And if you could just get out, dry yourself off.
- Are you guys freaking out?
- Okay now I am, Jillian.
Why don't you chill out?
- Sorry, it's just you guys don't at all
look ready for the drug test today.
- Wait, there's a drug test today?
- Yeah, I know, I'm freaking out too.
Last night I went to the Justin Bieber concert
with my nephew Dennis and this guy
was smoking weed right next to us.
Totally freaked me out.
Hey, you know what else freaked me out?
That picture of your dick, Anders!
I got it in a text!
♪ That party last night was awfully crazy ♪
♪ I wish we taped it ♪
- Hey, tight butthole man?
Tight butthole job.
Hey, I was just wondering, maybe you'd be
more comfortable wearing something on your head.
- Oh, you want me to cover my head?
Why?
Is something bothering you about it?
- Look, it's not me okay?
I love it. It's just people probably came here
to see the hair and the cars.
Here.
Put on this.
- Look, Diez, why don't you take a walk all right?
Before I lose my cool.
- Okay, put on the hat or I'm not gonna **** pay you.
- Yeah, okay, I'll wear the hat then.
- Big fan.
- Absolutely!
Tight butthole!
Take it sleazy!
Tight butthole!
- Hup!
Hup!
Whoa, way to finish Corey!
Nicely done!
God it feels good to be back on the deck.
Away from all the BS.
- Those clowns. - Hey.
- Yeah?
- Sorry to be such a loose butthole,
but can you get back to the announcer's booth?
The next seed's about to start.
- Right, yeah.
Sorry.
Good job Corey.
All right, and next we've got
the boys 11-12 100-yard butterfly!
National record held by the Jazz Morgan of course.
In lane eight, Pat Aberin!
(crowd applauds)
Lane eight.
You guys ever feel like sometimes
you're in the lane eight of life?
Probably we all do.
Treading water, trying to keep your head above,
when we should really probably
just sink to the bottom of the pool,
open our mouths, and let the water end it all.
Nope, okay.
In late seven, Brian Newman!
Oh-ho!
Look who it is!
Blakey the loser came crawling back to TAC.
- Well you're here, so loser to you too, bitch!
- Well you're, oh, well you know what?
You're a son of one.
Yeah, that's right, I said it.
Son of a bitch, that means your mom is!
- Oh don't bring my mother into this!
- Yeah, your mom!
- You know not to bring mama into this!
- Bring your mama!
- Oh you wanna bring mama into this?
- I'm bringing mama-
(Anders burps)
- Stop fighting!
Because you both suck at it.
(Anders laughs)
You're both losers!
- I hate you!
- I hate you, I hate you!
- No I hate you!
- I hate you!
- Whoa whoa whoa!
What's all this shouting?
I thought you were friends.
- We are.
- Friends don't talk like this to each other,
so I don't wanna hear anymore of this nonsense
because I know you're better than that.
And guys, don't take what you have for granted.
Because you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.
- Yeah.
- I mean...
Yeah.
- Joni Mitchell never lied.
And Waymond never shuts up!
- I know, I was like is he gonna stop talking anytime soon?
- Just rambling.
- Yeah, **** you too.
I like him, honestly.
- [Blake] I mean freakin' motor mouth, but he had a point.
- He did.
You know guys, I think it's...
I think it's time we quit the show.
Ooh ho ho, okay.
- [Anders] Be strong guys, be strong.
- 'Sup slapdicks!
Beef squashed?
Water under the b-ridge?
Great.
'Cause tonight's gonna be insane.
Back of the stage-
- We're not gonna do it, Kurt.
We're done.
Sorry.
- We're not doing it for the money.
And we're not doing it for the Bango.
- Although we like the Bango.
- Yeah, we've been Bango'd.
- You have to be joking.
You're gonna give up the ultimate gig
of "Party Gawds" for what?
Weekend warrior wannabes?
Come on.
- We just wanna step things back a little bit.
Just go back to when we were friends only.
- I respect that.
We had a great ride.
Blake, take this Bango slacker wig.
Trust me.
- Oh, okay.
You want me to wear this thing?
- Smart.
- This symbol of consumerism.
- Yeah, it's smart.
- And neo-conformity.
I don't think so all right?
- [Anders] Blake, no offense,
but you gotta put that thing on.
- You guys don't like this look?
- You know, you're not that good looking
with it, but without it?
- Even worse? - Very fowl.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
(beatboxing music)
- [Adam] Oh yeah, that's good.
Keep that one.
- [Blake] That's a keeper.
- [Anders] Keeper.
- [Adam] You ever heard of puff puff pass ****?
- You can hold that, that's real weed.
That's real weed.
- Yeah, of course it's real weed.
- That's real weed.
- Of course it's real.
You know, I'm sorry about being such an egomaniac.
You know, I feel like I really
learned something by having the show.
- Yes, yes, well it's a web series.
- The web series, it's like I just need to be
a team player and I'm one of the guys, you know?
- Yeah, totally.
- Forever.
- Forever, I love you dawgs.
- Dude, I love you guys.
I love you guys.
Real talk, I'm telling you right now,
I think the most important thing
is that we just stay true to each other.
- Right, right. - Yup, yup.
- But it's like maybe I take the wig off.
You know?
- Okay, yeah. - Oh yeah.
- Hey, real talk, remember how I almost killed myself?
- Yeah.
- If you take that wig off I will, I swear to God!
- Okay, okay.
- If I learned anything from having the show,
excuse me, web series, it's that you're the hair guy!
- Yeah, I'm the hair guy. - You are the hair!
- Yeah, I have a small head and a large jaw.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And I'm tall.
Hair, height, humor.
- Oh thank you.
Thank you so much.
- Yeah.
- That's nice, that feels good.
- Yeah, that's the show.
We should have a TV show or something.
(beatboxing music)
♪ I'm fresh ♪
♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪
♪ You gotta be fresh ♪