-You look good. -I do?
-Yeah, you look all tan. You look Puerto Rican.
[ Laughter ] -No, it's high blood pressure.
-It's okay. I look Dominican.
I ain't got no socks on. We even.
[ Laughter ]
You said it's high blood pressure?
-Yeah, it really is. -[ Laughing ]
By the way, John Travolta with that baldy.
What? -He looks good, right?
-Yeah, he looks like a pretty Joe Rogan.
[ Laughter ]
-Pretty Joe Rogan.
Look at this picture of you and Eddie Murphy.
I saw this. You posted this.
-Yes, me and my idol, man. The G.O.A.T.
-Yeah, is he your idol? -Come on, man.
I mean, between him, Richard Pryor, my brother Damon,
those are my three favorites of all time.
-Yeah. -And I could flip the deck,
but I mean, I just love Eddie Murphy.
That was at his house, and his house is so beautiful.
You know what's sad? Like, it was so nice,
all I could think was, "How do I rob Eddie Murphy?"
[ Laughter ]
-You can't rob Eddie Murphy! -I know.
I didn't want to rob him of, like, a car or some jewelry.
I just want to take something. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-He had this bowl of penny candy,
so I took like 16 butterscotch and put it in my pocket.
-Yeah. [ Laughs ] He owes you that, yeah.
-I wonder if he's sitting around, going,
"There's 16 butterscotch missing."
-How long have you known Eddie?
-I've known Eddie since I was 8 years old
because my brother Keenen used to write and produce with him.
And Eddie actually came to my apartment in the projects.
He was the biggest movie star in the world,
and he came to my projects.
And it was funny, because me and my brother,
we thought we was funny, so we thought we'd roast Eddie Murphy.
And Eddie Murphy was wearing these cow-skin pants,
so every time he sat down, me and my brother would go, "Moo!"
[ Laughter ]
And then we would ask him questions like,
"Yo, Eddie, how you like your pants?
Medium-rare?" -Yeah.
-And he was like... [ Imitates rimshot ]
I was like, "Are them pants homogenized?"
And the we had all these jokes.
And, meanwhile, the pants cost more than everything
in my apartment, including us. [ Laughter ]
And my nephew, he was like 4 years old,
and he was a bad little kid.
He just kept punching Eddie in the leg, and Eddie was like,
"If you don't get this little prisoner away from me..."
[ Laughter ]
No, 'cause Craig was bad.
You know a bad kid in the projects
'cause they always have a outie belly button.
So, Craig -- [ Laughter ]
This is facts.
Outie belly-button kids are terrible.
Am I lying? [ Laughter ]
Ask the black folks over there. [ Laughter ]
How many times you been robbed
by the kid with the outie belly button?
[ Laughter ]
They always want your cherry in the fruit cocktail.
There's only one cherry! [ Laughter ]
So, Craig had an outie belly button.
He kept punching Eddie Murphy.
And so, at the end, Eddie wrote us an autograph.
He said, "To Marlon -- To Sean, be free.
To Marlon, one day you'll make it."
And, "To Craig, when you get older,
I'ma punch you in your face."
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, that's Eddie. Come on.
-Which is dope. And then later on,
flash-forward, I got the chance to work with Eddie in "Norbit."
And it was so dope because he was doing makeup
at that time for "Norbit."
-He was doing all the characters.
-Yeah, he was doing all the characters,
so I came into work, and my script just said "Buster taps."
And so, me, overpreparing like I did,
I wrote a whole power dance tap class.
So, Brian goes, "So, Marlon, what do you want to do?"
Brian's the director, he goes, "What do you want to do?"
Eddie's in makeup for five hours.
I said, "Okay. I got this class.
One, two, three, four.
♪ I stepped in poo ♪
♪ I'ma wipe it off ♪
And then, I did this whole, like...
[ Laughter ]
No, it was a whole class. I was going...
♪ I called the cops, they taking me to jail ♪
♪ They taking me to jail ♪
[ Laughter ]
I felt free to do that
because John Travolta just did a whole class.
-Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.
You're allowed -- You can do anything you want.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You can do whatever you want on this show.
-So, Eddie comes out of makeup, and he goes to watch my scene.
And so, I walked out the room 'cause my hero's
watching something I do.
And when Eddie laughs, he has this big, huge roar,
and they put it on, and all I hear is Eddie Murphy going,
"Rah! Rah! Rah!"
-That's what he does? -Yes.
-That's how he laughs?
-It sounds like someone's getting killed.
[ Laughter ]
And that was the day for me.
That was, like, a second special day for me.
The first day I felt special was when he came to my house
in the projects, and everybody cleared out.
Second day I felt famous,
where I was doing something right,
was the day I made Eddie Murphy laugh.
And I asked him while we was doing a scene,
I said, "Eddie, Eddie --" He was in makeup.
I said, "How you like doing the makeup, man?
Isn't this fun?" And he looked a me
through the makeup, and he said,
"Hey, man." He said, "This is work."
And I said, "Yeah, but you get to do all these
great characters and the voices."
He said, "Hey, hey, hey! I said this is work."
[ Laughter ]
And I was like, "Yeah! Forget these characters!"
-Yeah.
So, cut to me doing this movie, "Sextuplets," right?
And I'm playing six different characters,
and my nephew's on the set,
and he's all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
He's like, "Uncle Marlon, this is so fun!
You get to do all these makeup and characters."
I said, "Hey!" [ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
"This is work!" [ Laughter ]
-That's right. You see? You learned.
-Yeah. -I mean, you --
You crushed it in this movie. Look at this.
-Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ] -That is all...
Even that -- I mean, come on.
[ Laughter ]
I don't know how you do it.
-If I can't get an Oscar for playing this little guy...
-Yeah, I mean, come on.
-You know how long it took me to get back to my own size?
-Uh, Academy... Academy, if you're watching...
Yeah. -Hook a brother up.
-It's a really funny movie. Everyone can see it.
-Yes, it's on Netflix, starting at 12:00 tonight.
Be sure to tune in. I'm telling you,
from the time you watch it, all the way through,
nothing but laughs. I promise you.
-Yeah. I know your parents got to see this, right?
-Finally, I did a movie
that is appropriate for my parents to see.
[ Laughter ]
And what's funny -- 'Cause my dad's Jehovah Witness,
and, you know -- Got some groans out there?
Damn. -No, no, no.
-All y'all slammed the door in his face, huh?
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. -Don't trip.
There was days my mother would be like, "Who's at the door?
It's your father. Get down."
[ Laughter ]
-He went to your door.
-And so my parents actually did get to see this.
And I went by my mom's house, I told her, I said,
"I'm gonna come hook up Netflix."
She said, "Where I can see the movie?"
I said, "Netflix."
She goes, "I ain't got that. What is that?"
I said, "I'ma buy you a Apple TV."
"I don't want no apples in my TV."
[ Laughter ] I said, "No, Ma, Apple TV."
"I already got a TV. It's a tube.
I don't like them things that hang on the wall
where I'm looking at pictures. I want a tube on my television."
I said, "Ma, it's a little box. I come attach it to your thing."
She said, "I don't want no damn little box.
You do what you do. I'll see the movie when I can."
[ Laughter ] -So that's the review.
-So I don't think my mom's gonna see the movie.
-She'll never see it. -But my sister saw it.
And this is the greatest thing.
My sister's one of my biggest critics.
If she loves it, she loves it, and when she don't, she don't.
Like, I've seen her magically disappear from premieres.
Like, "Hey, Kim, how you like the --"
'Cause she don't want to have the confrontation.
-Yeah, yeah. -So, this movie, she goes,
"Marlon, this movie, it was so good.
You was funny. You was appropriate.
There was no body parts swinging around.
There was no body fluids spurting all over the place.
I didn't see your ass not one time."
[ Laughter ] She said, "This is a movie.
This ain't a movie just for comedy.
This is a movie the world needs to see.
They need to play this in Hong Kong at the airport
right now and bring everybody together."
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -That is a good review.