[CHEERING]
Welcome back to the show.
I just spent seven minutes explaining how prosecutors can
do whatever the fuck they want.
I sure hope Scivance doesn't get vindictive
and start poking around my line of children's tanning salons.
So let's talk about what that lack of accountability
means to the people in their courts,
for example, in California.
Prosecutors, the people that we count on to put criminals
in jail, don't turn over evidence that
could help clear a defendant.
Or they present false evidence.
A massive study found that 707 cases, about one a week,
in which courts found prosecutorial misconduct.
The California State Bar publicly disciplined only 1%
of prosecutors in hundreds and hundreds of cases
of misconduct, just 1%.
Meanwhile, last time I was in California,
the bar punished my ass every day.
In order to get any punishment at all,
prosecutors have to screw up big like former Williamson County,
Texas, DA Ken Anderson, who pleaded guilty to withholding
evidence that could have exonerated Michael
Morton, an innocent man who served
25 years in prison for murder.
Anderson's punishment, a $500 fine, loss of his law license,
community service, and a whole entire 10 days in jail.
Now, before we freak out about that unfair sentence, relax.
It was reduced to five days for good behavior.
When Michael Morton was released,
he had to reckon with a son whose
childhood he'd missed out on.
When DA Anderson was released, he
had to reckon with whether a carton of half and half
it left in his refrigerator was still OK, so pretty much even.
In another shocking example in Detroit,
14-year-old Davontae Sanford was sentenced to 39 to 92 years
in prison for a quadruple murder.
But then a confession came from another man, specifically
an imprisoned hitman named Vincent Smothers, first name
the go-to name for movie hitmen, last name
an actual method of murdering.
Should have been an open and shut case.
Smothers even led police to the murder weapon.
The DA, Kym Worthy, refused to consider that police may
have arrested the wrong person.
Sanford remained in prison for nine years
while Smothers was never charged with the murder.
Neither was his accomplice, Stabby McIdidit.
Some prosecutors even find ways to get creative when
it comes to jailing victims.
DA Leon Cannizzaro is being sued
tonight over his old policy of sending
witnesses fake subpoenas.
I think it should be noted, however, that no one who ever
received a DA's notice, even if it was labeled a district
attorney subpoena, has ever suffered
any sanction or consequences by imprisonment or fine
by the court.
OK, super cool, as long as no one was imprisoned,
this was just like a fun subpoena
prank in the grand tradition of scaring the fucking shit out
of crime victims.
Oh, except here's someone who says she was imprisoned.
Renata Singleton called the police after a boyfriend
smashed her cell phone.
Then she decided to drop the charges
and just dump the boyfriend.
But the police weren't about to let him--
I mean, sorry-- her off so easily.
I can't believe they put me in jail.
And I'm in there because I called the cops
for getting a cell phone broke.
I arrived at the DA's office.
I remember asking, do I get a lawyer?
Can I speak with a lawyer?
And they were like, no.
You're not the criminal.
You're the witness.
And so the cop came in and put the handcuffs on me.
I found out that my bond was $100,000.
All of this because they wanted her to testify
against an ex-boyfriend.
If you want a woman to say something bad about her ex, all
you have to do is give her two margaritas
and put on a Beyonce song.
Everybody knows that.
Cannizzaro is now the target of two lawsuits
and an ethics complaint.
But somehow, he's still the New Orleans district attorney.
And the prosecutors jailing victims trend
has swept the nation.
In Washington, it was a victim of kidnapping
and sexual assault, in Louisiana, an alleged
child sex trafficking victim.
And in Oregon, a witness was jailed for two and a half years
so he could testify against his son in a murder trial.
[LAUGHING] And you thought Christmas with your dad
was awkward.
All of this is possible because, as you'll recall,
prosecutors can do whatever the fuck they want.
Look.
I know.
Prosecutors have a difficult job.
They have to fight for justice every day
while suppressing their burning sexual tension
with Mariska Hargitay.
We need prosecutors, but we also need them to be better.
The justice system is full of checks and balances,
but somehow these guys are unchecked
and sometimes unbalanced.
So hey, political parties, maybe consider
making these races competitive.
So sexual assault victims can get justice,
and people of color can get a fair shake,
and I don't have to write in Oprah next time
to vote against Cy Vance.
We'll be right back.
[CHEERING]
[ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYING]