you're human right and sometimes things go wrong but how do you forgive yourself
after you make mistake keep watching
okay so you did something wrong ah now what do you do it's back here in the
past behind you but you still feel that there's something not right inside and
and yeah you're working on forgiving yourself right but it's not working so
why what what parts are you missing and this whole forgiveness piece so that you
can forgive let go move on because you might keep moving forward in life and it
feels like this is like dragging behind you you need to do something about that
and let me tell you why because in psychology in this study of us as a
human being when we feel out of order about something our brain won't let it
go because it's not complete and it doesn't matter how many days how many
months how many years go by inside here inside your head the way that the brain
works it sees that the past and the present are all in the same time frame
it doesn't separate things it you could yeah you can go what happened last month
and it can go back to that month but when it comes to emotions emotions don't
have timelines when there are emotions involved with something that is off and
it's not quite right inside of you those emotions even though it's a week a month
a year later it still feels like it happened five minutes ago so when you
are off in how you feel and there's an emotion wrapped around it it just
follows you lingers with you after day after day after day and there does need
to be some forgiveness exercised some processing some reconciliation to happen
now you might be new to the forgiveness experience like what does that actually
mean most people think that forgiveness is
only a spiritual term like oh you've sinned now you need to be forgiven or
you're going to end up to hell you could that's a very big
spiritual conversation there but forgiveness it's not just a spiritual
thing it's an everyday life thing you know to tell someone you're sorry to ask
someone to forgive you for what you did forgiveness means to pardon what has
happened so let's just go with the social public real life situation of of
you need forgiveness and that we're not talking at church context here we're
talking you just feel like something needs to be done so that you can move
forward so what are the components that happened here and forgiveness why won't
your mind let go of it so here's what happens inside of your head when you did
something and it wasn't right and you felt it you know it and it wasn't right
the mind starts to think that this is going to end up happening again and it
sees that it happened once so one of the concerns of your mind is that it's going
to happen again and again and again and this feeling is you feel off or you feel
out of balance and if the mind goes wait a minute if this happened once and we do
it again and again and again we're not only going to be off balance just a
little bit well that little bit gets stacked up to be a lot and what if we're
off balance a lot what could happen well we could mentally crash we could hurt
somebody we could hurt ourselves and so the mind is actually processing going
wait minute we're gonna need to do something about this so when you don't
do something to reconcile this it becomes a really big concern to the
function of your mind because your brain does not want to die but if you keep
getting off balance that could make a feeling of we're not doing well if we
don't do well for a long time we could die I hope that just all made sense to
you so what do you do part of forgiveness is coming up with an
action plan to make sure it doesn't happen again
you can say okay I forgive myself you can go tell people I hope you'll
forgive me but if we don't go inside our head and
start making a plan of how this will not happen again it's going to still be a
concern and that concern is what keeps bringing this back to life to you like
it's gonna happen again you haven't made any changes you have made adjustments
it's gonna happen again and so that concern just eats at you so
if you heard what I just brought up that one of the steps of forgiveness is to
make a plan of how this will never happen again
number two is what must change what must change in your pattern or your choices
to support that plan now what you do here is in making this plan I think it's
super smart to actually write it out you actually write out in the plan what
happened so first you write what happened and I'm gonna put WH that means
what happened and what the plan idea is next so maybe you take a half page or a
full page and you write down in details what exactly happened what led up to it
what was the act what do they do to people what did it create and you
literally are being very very very accountable for how this really you know
came about after you write all that out that's a pretty intense experience
because you're really calling forth all the details about it now that you see
all the data details of what happened now it gives you power to go where did I
fall where did I slip where did I go wrong and because now you can see where
those places are at because it's all in writing now you can start to write this
new plan of going okay starting now this is how I'm going to change my behavior
this is what's going to be different and you begin writing out those details so
it looks like two different pieces of paper two different documents on your
computer what happened and what the new plan is now if
you decide to do this and get very interested in your behavior you can
eliminate this from repeating you can eliminate this from repeating and you
can eliminate the concerns and worries inside of you and that is called
forgiveness to let go because you've taken charge of it you've decided I'm
going to look into this see how it works see what happened what led up to this
here's my new plan I'm going to follow this new plan so I don't slip into this
old way of how he did things because I didn't want this to repeat and because
you've written it down it's very conscious very in front of you
very real nobody gets to see this this is you working on you with the mental
and emotional states of forgiveness now if you didn't do this this is really
possibly gonna happen again and recreate and you're gonna do it again and again
and again and you're not gonna know what led up to it because remember that there
was something that led up to this to happen something plus something plus
something caused that to happen it didn't just come out of nowhere so by
you writing you're actually discovering everything that led up to it
what happened who got hurt what did you say what what's going on but now you
actually can be more clear about a new plan and you can put into this this is
where I'm going to change now talk about empowering talk about you know
encouraging that you actually can be involved so detailed like this to be
able to make such a great change in your life because it sure is debilitating to
do something wrong and have no idea why it happened and then have no idea how to
change it and then to be worried oh my goodness it could happen again
that's not empowering that's not encouraging that's actually makes you
feel like you don't don't have much control of your life so a huge part of
really learning how to forgive yourself after you make a mistake is to take time to
write the details out because you can do this don't let another day go by where
it's weighing on you and eating at you get involved help your head sort this
out and when you write all this out if you
realize you need to go talk to people you need to see people you need to say
I'm sorry and if there's anything you got to do to fix what has happened you
go do what it takes no matter what happens you do what it takes to be able
to make those amends with people to make it good because remember what we've done
wrong has an emotional part to it and inside who we are emotions are not
separated by time if it happened two years ago it still feels the same
painful way that it did two years ago and it's not gonna go away it's not how
the brain and the body function it doesn't categorize and put emotions into
timelines it puts a vents into timelines but not emotions so to help you lighten
that burden and to feel good because you know you're doing good do the work it's
gonna make a difference you're gonna feel so much better doing
what I just showed you you're gonna feel so good so good job clicking on this
video watching this video now let's take it a step further and let's really clean
up what's going on inside your head to build your confidence click the link
below and now that you've worked on forgiveness with us work on confidence
click the link below and take a look at a training program I have called master
my thoughts because wow imagine if you could boost that confidence up what
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