do you have questions about a doula joining you at your birth maybe you're wondering if doulas
replaced dads how do listen dad's work together what about other family members and how they work
with doulas well you were in the right place because we are going to answer questions like
those in this video now if we haven't met before my name is Alice Turner I am a doula a childbirth
educator and on my channel I make videos about birth so if birth is your thing then go ahead and
subscribe because then you'll be notified when the next video comes around now in today's video I've
done something a little bit different if you've seen some other videos this one is different and
I think you're gonna like it so what we have done is taken some dads some family members and ask
them about their experience using doulas we're gonna go straight to the source to answer some
of these questions about doulas you're gonna need Robby Jermaine Raj and Elaine and they are going
to share their stories with you so I hope you enjoy so first up we're going to hear from Robby
and Jermaine and hear about their experience of working with doulas here we go you know having
a doula for this experience was super helpful for us and it was it was really confidence inspiring
to have someone who knows what's going on and it's able to tell you like oh yeah this is normal this
is not normal and to just help you with the last thing I talked about which is being ready for one
of the babies actually they're my wife and I we're avid readers so we like to research everything
so we got some books but that wasn't enough because this is such a huge and like life-changing
experience we needed like some experienced help from outside that will kind of help us and all
I've researched a doula which I had never heard of before and that's how we kind of got to that she
was a tremendous tremendous tremendous help for us because everything that I expected or anything
that I did not expect she completely understood and filled in the gaps completely so labor is long
and a little known benefit of doulas as explained by both Raj and Jermaine here we go so the night
of her contractions she it was in the middle of the night so I was expecting like you know maybe
it would be during the daytime you know where we can at least be fully alert or at least I
would be fully alert but it was in the middle of the night and you know I'm just like what's call
Alice because I didn't know I guess what to do but she had the experience and she just came in she
was like okay go lay down yeah you're gonna need sleep and sure enough I needed the sleep because
the next day I was up for 24 hours so I at least got about 2 hours of sleep per / direction so I
think that's about that I think is I think one of the key benefits for aa specific you having to you
know as a guy you feel like you know you know I can do this and we don't need any help or you know
but in the moment I can tell you that you know I've run marathons I've been in earthquakes I've
been P squad with all these challenging things but in the moment being there with my wife trying to
like it from the time we went to the hospital to you know maybe 2:00 a.m. is all my reserves were
emptied and tucked out and it was so comforting to of course of the doula been really step in and
hell and so I was able to rest from the 2:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. time block which was so key
because you forget it's not just like getting to the birth there's there's so much more and
really that three hour rest where I could let my mind at ease and surprisingly I was so exhausted I
fell asleep you know in 10 seconds which was great but it was for us that was really comforting in 11
need to realize that I was completely tapped out in my reserves and it was good to have someone
else help so it's absolutely true that a doula is another set of hands another person that can free
up the partner and the family members so they can get a little rest during labor and this is
so important after the baby's born because if we have partners that are ready to go and have
their batteries recharged they're going to be so helpful in that critical time of taking care
of a new baby especially at the hospital so birth doulas meet with families prior to birth to really
find out their preferences for labor and birth and help them come up with a plan and then when
they are helping at a birth they help advocate and help remind them of their ideas and their
preferences for labor and birth Raj really says this well here if you don't start advocating from
the get-go it's very easy to just you know just resign yourself to this is what's happening and
feel out of control and I think we realized very quickly in the first four hours that we had to
take back control and of course their help really refocus us on taking back control and getting our
end goal the way that we wanted to which we ultimately were able to get they don't really
give you options they say this is like the next step and so they'd be kind of guide you towards
what they consider the standard decision-making process and that kind of wasn't consistent with
all the work we've done with their doula to truly develop a plan that worked for our needs and so
you know you you talk about their deal about this is like step one and what you want and but if step
one of like four options well when you with the healthcare team they just gave you option one
and so you don't know that there were three other options or there could have been a less invasive
one or a more invasive one based on you know your significant others gain so no I mean they
are gonna just give you a checklist thing to get through everything and it's up to you to advocate
from the beginning so sometimes there might be another family member that joins the birth
that wants to be included maybe a grandmother to be and a question that I hear sometimes is
will the doula replace other family members do they replace dads do they replace grandmothers
how do their roles kind of work together and Elaine really shares her experience nicely and
answers this question for us here so glad that Suzanne and Andrew had arranged to have the doula
because the pressure was off of me just to be mom cheerleader moral support someone to talk
through issues with the doula would actually be a professional I could relax and not worried that I
would be expected to make major decisions another common question is how does the doula get along
with the other members of the birth team do they work well with nurses doctors care providers I'm
gonna let Elaine answer this one let's do it the doula was wonderful in not only coaching Suzanna
but also the doula gave some suggestions to the OB that actually were implemented I thought that
was pretty remarkable and it meant that our doula actually knew what she was doing and was respected
in her professional craft what question that is sometimes asked is what about during a cesarean
birth our duel is able to help now the reality is that this varies from hospital to hospital
and sometimes varies depending upon what's going on with the world as well and whether the hospital
is allowing dualism operating room but I want to share Elaine story and her thoughts about dualism
or so that it was time to go on in you decided to have a c-section we all supported her in that
decision and the belt of that one that it was the right thing to do and the doula also supported
that decision which again made us feel confident that it was the right thing to at least pass but
we were surprised after the doula had been our wonderful coach and friend all day that she was
not allowed to go into the the c-section delivery hospital policy I guess because they have cramped
space is that only one family member can be there at the time of delivery and of course
that was de ed but it was a great discipline that the Dougal was not able to be there with
her because we had all bonded felt so confident in the doula and would have been more assured if
she had been there to complete the process and finally let's let Raj share his final words on
his decision to add a doula to their birth team you know I have a lot of strong old friends and
friends who are quote unquote successful and they all recognize the immense challenges that
going through something for the first time and so having someone navigate that and help just
us both feel comfortable when you guide us in the conversation was was was without a doubt the right
decision to do as we get more fascinating because my wife is in the medical profession and so you
know initially she she was probably more hesitant than myself because she feels like there's kind
of one way to do it and so by of course doing all the birth classes and the multiple ways to
accomplish her goal she's been 100% onboard and now it's like the biggest advocate many thanks
to Robbie Jermaine Raj and Elaine for helping me out on this video and really sharing their
personal thoughts on using a doula and answering some questions that we had about doula work if
you are interested in more information about being a great support person in labor we have
a course called supporting her and you can find a link below to that information it is the only
online course that was developed specifically for partners to learn about their role in labor and to
really be excellent in that role so check that out if you want to find out any of more information
about resources that we offer that would be great and if you found this video helpful give it a
like it sure helps other people find the video as well I'll see you guys next time later bye