One of the main reasons why we usually get disappointed is when we ask for help and we
get rejected.
Our friends and relatives are the closest people to us, so naturally we expect them
to be there for us when we need them, at least thats how we imagine it should be.
But thats not how it works usually.
Because people In general are only driven by their self interest, they are not interested
in your problems or making your life better, all what they care about is what they can
get out of anything they do, if they don't see anything they can gain out of helping
you out, they will find a legitimate excuse to ignore you!
And what do you do in such situations, you start remind him about all the good things
you have done to him, about how he was in trouble in the past and you were there to
help him.
You are trying to give him a good reason to help you out, you are relying on his mercy,
and thats pretty much what everyone else does, thats exactly why you end up disappointed
because unfortunately thats ineffective way.
In fact it doesn’t work most of the times, because people are not interested in anything
except themselves!
Regardless of how horrible that seems, people will always find a way to rationalise their
actions one way or another because Even the most powerful person is trapped in his own
wants and desires.
Instead of trying to fight with this reality, use it to your advantage, if people are driven
by their self interest, why not unveil something in your request that could be in his interest.
Thats why you have to learn how to discover other people needs and desires!
I am sure that some people thinking that, - I don't need anyones help, I can handle
everything on my own, but thats pretty much impossible.
Because Life is designed in such a way that we constantly need to ask for help.
You might be in college and you need the help of your classmates to prepare for that test,
or you might need the assistance of your colleagues in your job, or you might just need a favour
to advanced your business interest.
You will constantly find yourself in a position where you ned the help of those who are more
powerful than you, thats why there is an art of asking for help.
Instead of trying to rely on peoples mercy, rely on their self interest, because it will
always drive them!
When i was in college, I hated taking notes in the class, because I use to get bored pretty
fast.
I use to find it much more interesting to sit there and listen to the lecturer and try
to understand what the heck is he trying to teach instead of writing down everything.
But that wasn’t the most effective strategy because by the end of the semester I would
forget almost everything, and without notes it was extremely difficult to study for for
the finals.
Instead of trying to beg my classmates to share with me all the notes they have been
taking for the last few month, I would invite them for a group study, and many of them would
join because I was pretty good at explaining some of the topics that they struggled with!
and in return i would get what I need!
Of course in this case, it was straight forward because everyone wants to pass the finals,
But if you look at any other case, you will always find that people are interested in
something, some are trying to make more money, others want more respect and so on and so
forth.
You can argue as much as you want, you can say that its not right, you can try to argue
that we should help each other out of love and friendship, we should not be using those
evil tactics.
I absolutely agree with you, but just because we want that, doesn’t mean its going to
work.
you can try to justify your argument by bringing up that one case where someone out there actually
helped you for nothing.
Yes of course that happens sometimes, and thats the problem, it happens sometimes and
not always!
I understand that its not easy and it might take you sometime to find out what could interest
him in your request, but thats better than asking for help and get ignored and spend
the rest of the day being mad at your friend because he did not help you!
and now its your turn, what do you think?
How do you pursued people?
Lets me know in the comments below!
And as always, hit that like button if you have enjoyed this
video and if you don’t want to miss the next video, then hit that subscribe button
and the bell besides it.
Thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one