- I'm actually glad Lucy had to work tonight,
saving the awkward conversation about
how it was going to be hanging with my bros.
- Isn't every conversation you two have, awkward?
- Painfully so. We have this rule on the phone
that if no one talks for three minutes,
you can just hang up.
So into her.
- Ready whenever you guys are.
- Yeah, we'll be right there. Leonard?
- Yeah.
- I'm not sure how I feel about Howard
being Dungeon Master, instead of you.
- Oh, that's nice but relax, sometimes change is good.
You were worried about Zachary Quinto
being the new Spock, but you wound up liking him.
- Oh please. Every time the topic of change comes up,
you throw Zachary Quinto in my face.
I'm upset the mailman has new haircut, "Zachary Quinto."
I'm upset that daylight saving time started,
"Zachary Quinto."
I'm upset daylight saving time ended, "Zachary Quinto."
I'm saying this for the last time,
Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event.
So stop using him against me.
- Okay, here we go.
You find yourself in an overgrown old forest,
before you is a giant Oak tree with a face on it,
that looks a lot like Nicolas Cage.
He says:
(mimics Nicolas Cage) "Travel with caution.
"These woods are home to the bones of many of fallen heroes"
- Now, see. Howard just as good a Dungeon Master as I am.
- As good? Well, you just got pantsed in the school yard,
four eyes.
- Hey, come on guys, focus.
Oh mighty Nicolas Cage tree,
We thank you for your warning,
but we are brave warriors and nothing short of death
will keep us from a goal.
(phone rings)
Oh, Lucy's free after all. See you.
- No, no, no, hey, hey!
You can't leave, we just started.
- You're right, I should finish the game.
I take my plus-one long sword,
stab myself in the face with it.
I'm dead, I've got a date with a girl. Bye.
- We'll be fine, watch.
(clears throat) Suddenly, a spectral shape rises
from Koothrappali's bloody corpse and says:
(mimics Rajesh) "Don't worry buddies,
ghost Raj will help guide you through the forest.
(mimics Nicolas Cage) Well I'm just a tree,
but if I were you I'd listened to your ghost friend.
- Go on, give him your lunch money.