- Tell me some of the things, what happens
when you go to a networking function, a networking event.
What's the typical experience? Go ahead.
What is it like?
[Audience Member] - Elevator pitch.
- Elevator pitch. A 30 second elevator pitch. Yes?
What else?
- [Audience Member] People shove cards in your face.
- People shovel cards in your face. Good. That's good.
- [Audience Member] Their first question is,
"What do you do?" - They what?
- [Audience Member] Their first question is what do you do.
- What you do. Good. Okay.
- [Audience Member] They try to sell to you in 20 seconds.
- They try to sell to you in 20 seconds. Yes.
How many have experienced that before?
Okay. What else? What is it like?
- [Audience Member] Everybody's talking about themselves.
- Everybody talking over themselves. Okay.
So you're talking, they're asking you questions,
they're timing, well you kind of,
you've been talking for 30 seconds.
So kinda like, it's my turn. (audience laughs)
So please, like, it's my turn. (laughs)
What else?
- [Audience Member] It's repetitive.
- It's repetitive. It's repetitive.
So, generally speaking, is the
experience positive or negative?
- [Audience Member] It's energy-draining.
- It's energy-draining. Okay. So positive or negative?
How many of you think it's positive?
How many of you think it's negative?
Okay.
So the question is, why do we keep
going back to these things then?
- [Audience Member] Hoping for something different.
- Hope for something different.
Victoria, thank you for your honesty. Great.
- [Audience Member] Meeting new people.
- Meeting new people. Okay. So just,
chances are maybe, maybe I'll meet someone interesting,
or someone good. Yeah. You never know.
You've gotta go through a lot of people, right?
- [Audience Member] Maybe you learn something.
- Maybe you learn something. Great. Maybe. Perhaps.
Sometimes don't we learn something?
Even though the people are not that good,
but you learn something right? Okay. Good.
So that's why you keep going back again and again.
Let me give you, first of all, the fundamental,
the definition of networking.
Here's what I found on the internet. Okay?
The conventional wisdom. What is it?
(audience says conventional wisdom)
Conventional wisdom.
The definition networking is the exchange
of information or services among
individuals, groups, or institutions.
Specifically, the cultivation of productive
relationships for employment or business.
Now, what's wrong with this definition?
What's wrong with this definition?
It's a typical definition.
- [Audience Member] It's just talking about the exchange
of information, but not necessarily an action.
- [Dan] Yeah. No actions. Exchange information, yes.
But notice the last couple words.
Relationships, productive relationships
for employment or business. - One or the other.
- [Dan] Okay. And what does that mean?
You're going out there, you hopefully you wanna what?
(audiences response varies)
Get something, yes? There lies the problem.
And if conventional, 99% of the time it's wrong.
Most of the time it's wrong. Here's my definition.
Write this down. Write this down.
Any, networking's any activity
that increases the value of your network
and/or the value you contribute to it. I'll say that again.
Networking is any activity that increase the value
of your network and/or the value you contribute to it.
Did I talk about doing some business?
Did I talk about employment? No.
What's the keyword there?
(audience says value)
What's the keyword?
(audience says value)
Value, increase the value of your network
and/or the value you contribute to it.
Got it?
Write it down first.
Okay.
So, I like to use the analogy,
a lot of networking event are a lot like nightclubs.
(audience laughs) Okay?
And business professionals who are going there
are looking for one-night stands.
(audience laughs)
What does that mean? What does that mean?
You go there, and you give out business card. Yes?
Hopefully give out a lot of business card.
They love business card.
No different than going to a nightclub,
you walk up to a lady, "Hey, your place or mine?"
(audience laughs)
No? Okay. Your place or mine?
Maybe? Okay, I'll come back to you.
(audience laughs)
It's no different than that! It's no different.
So if most professionals, they go in there,
they're one-night standers.
But when they go with that approach,
what's wrong with that approach, first of all?
What's wrong with that approach?
- [Audience Member] Try to benefit for themselves.
- Yeah, just want to make some sales. Yes.
But what's wrong with their approach?
(audience member mumbles) They what?
- [Audience Member] Provides no value.
- Provides no value. Good. Good. Good.
Yeah, but what's fundamentally wrong with the approach?
- [Audience Member] There's no relationship.
- [Audience Member] It's too blunt.
- It's too blunt.
- [Audience Member] Short-term.
- [Audience Member] There's no long-term relationship.
- There's no long-term but here's the thing.
- [Audience Member] Taking.
- Taking, yes. Great. Great answer. But here's the thing.
Think in terms of whatever you do.
Let's say you're mortgage broker,
you're financial planner, or you're a coach.
Whatever business you have, think in terms of,
when you go to any networking event,
chances are, here's this, people don't think about it.
99% of people who go to the event,
they are not your ideal clients.
Your chances of success is maybe 1 out of 100.
Maybe, if you're lucky that night.
Just like, going to a nightclub.
(audience laughs)
I mean, you're asking, "Hey your place or mine?
Your place or mine?" You're asking.
Maybe, cause you know the nightclub closes in 10 minutes.
It's just you and me, eh you know,
five minute drive to my home. Think about it.
(audience laughs) Yeah?
I'll make you breakfast. How's that?
You know what I mean? That's what it is.
It's just, you might get lucky.
But, it's insulting, yes? It's insulting.
If 99% of them, they're not your ideal clients,
the approach of going out there and hopefully
to get some business, fundamentally,
that approach, it's incorrect. It's incorrect.
So, how many of you go to networking events,
hopefully you want to get some business?
Be honest with me. You wanna get some,
you wanna drum up some business, right?
Here's the challenge.
When you go out there and you want to drum up some business,
what do you focus on? What do you focus on?
(audience has varied responses)
You can only focus on yourself.
You can talk about, yeah I add value, and that's bullshit.
Because if you're going there with the intention
that I want to get some clients.
I need some clients. So, that's what I would do.
But networking is not something that you do to get business.
It's wrong.
If you are not getting enough clients,
you don't have a networking problem,
you have a marketing problem.
How many follow what I'm saying?
You are trying to solve a marketing problem with networking.
It's like trying to make a hole with a hammer.
It's not how it works.
So when should you go and network and meet with people?
Guess what? When you don't need business!
When you don't need clients! When you don't need anything!
Because when you go there and you don't need anything,
now what happens to your presence?
You're not needy, you're not desperate.
You can focus on other people. You can add value.
If you are struggling with getting clients
and making the money and go in there and
"Hopefully I'll just go there,
"and maybe I'll pick up one client or two."
No, cause you haven't solved the fundamental problem.
Yeah, maybe you go up there, maybe go to 10
of these events, you may pick up one client.
Great. Do you have a business? Cause you have one client.
So if you go back to the cycle,
what do you have to do? What's the first step?
(audience says attraction)
What's the first step? (audience says attraction)
Attraction. You focus on attraction first. Attraction first.
So. So, there's my definition.
And here's the big question. Here's the question.
If you were making more money than you ever imagined,
working with clients you absolutely love,
and had more high-quality prospects looking
to hire you than you had time for,
how often would you still go to networking events?
- [Audience Member] Zero.
- What is it? (audience says zero)
Why?
- [Audience Member] I would still go.
- You would still go, maybe to meet some interesting people.
How many of you say, "I would not go"?
Be honest. Yes, you would not go.
So the people you want to actually meet,
the high-quality, the successful entrepreneurs.
Guess what? They're not at networking events.
(audience laughs) You got it? They're not there.
That's why I don't go to networking events.
Unless I'm a speaker, or there's a speaker I want to see,
that I really want to learn from.
I would go, but I don't go to networking events.
Because when you go there, everybody,
is out for themselves, yes?
Hopefully get some business, exchange business cards.
There's no value being exchanged.
If the high-performers, elite entrepreneurs,
they don't go to networking event.
Who goes to networking event?
Chances are, the struggling entrepreneurs.
They're looking for quick fixes.
They're looking for someone to save their business.
They're looking for some instant gratification,
hopefully you know, "I'll get this client.
"Maybe I'll make some money to pay the bills."
Yes? That's the problem.
So fundamentally, that's what's going on.
I can see you're shocked right now.
(audience laughs)
How many are a little bit shocked?
Okay. Take two minutes. How long?
(audience says two minutes) Discuss what I've just-