- It's Valentine's Day,
otherwise known as the saddest day of the year
to go on PornHub.
Some people think this day's about love
but really it's about arguing
with strangers on the street,
on Prove Me Wrong, Valentine's Day edition.
(sniffs flower) Yugh.
♪ Love, love, love's got a hold on me. ♪
Valentine's Day is the worst day of the year.
Prove me wrong.
- No, I mean...
- Valentine's Day is rush hour for love.
We have all this pressure from society to take people out.
And if you can't get it done, guess what?
Everyone is upset.
- In Puerto Rico, it's called (speaks foreign language),
which means Friendship Day.
- What you do on Friendship Day?
- You give your friends like candy and flowers.
You give them...
- You get into a fight with your partner
over what restaurant booking you could not get?
- No.
- Well then, that's not Valentine's Day.
- You don't have to participate.
- Yeah, you can just enjoy the pretty colors, and...
- Oh really?
You don't feel the pressure of society
weighing on you on February 14th.
- Love doesn't have to be romantic.
I text all my family and friends on Valentine's Day.
- Oh yeah, I'm sure all your platonic guy friends
really love hanging out with you.
- Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love.
- So they other 364 days, they can go (beep) themselves.
- What other day do you wake up
and just think about love first?
- Well, if you're a good person, every day.
- It's an excuse to get (beep) up,
pretty much, if you're single.
- Some people use it to have a baby.
Some people use it.
- So Valentine's Day is an excuse to (beep).
- Yo, not me.
- [Ronny] Yeah. - You know, I do me.
But for people that not getting ass,
you know, dudes that don't get no buns.
I live on the West Coast now.
I live in California.
- [Ronny] Yeah.
- You know, females are a little bit more happier
'cause they enjoy sexual activities in their bedroom.
They're not having intercourse in the car,
or on the side of the street, in the train station.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about this.
When you was talking about the Valentine's Day
and about dudes putting in the pain.
- Okay, so is Valentine's Day
the worst day of the year or not?
- No, it's not.
- Chocolate's the worst candy.
Prove me wrong.
- Chocolate's delicious.
- Pure chocolate, pure cocoa tastes like shit.
- Why are you so angry at chocolate?
- Because it's overrated.
Like, if you really love me,
get me something that lasts, like your HBO password.
- Sharing the HBO password...
- Is a sign of true love.
- And a sign of commitment.
- Yeah, it means I'm gonna let this person
(beep) up my algorithms.
- What you see walking around, that's chocolate right there.
I'm chocolate, she chocolate.
- [Lady] Chocolate? (talking over each other)
- You see all the chocolate.
You see all this chocolate.
- [Ronny] Don't make this racial.
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm not making it racial.
I'm not making it racial.
You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right.
We use our skin complexion as that's the color of chocolate.
- Okay, do you like chocolate?
The candy?
- Me? - [Ronny] Yes.
- Preference is, I like gummies.
I'd rather...
- Sex should be a morning thing, never a night thing.
Prove me wrong.
- I'm gonna have to prove this for me.
Morning sex is the best, morning sex is the best.
- I'm with you.
You got energy.
- Listen, people have to go to the gym in the mornings.
Give me dick and I am up.
I am motivated to start my day.
- Like, never at night, ever?
- Never.
- No, when you have sex and then you go to bed,
it's like a really nice...
- Listen, there's something called sirsadian rhythm.
- Circadian rhythm?
- [Ronny] Whatever. - Ah.
- It's the rhythm you have as a human.
- Okay.
That's how it looks when it happens?
- [Ronny] Yeah.
- Just like, that's pretty aggressive.
- Yeah, this is a morning activity.
- That's like alligators eating one another.
- You see this? This is what you do in the morning.
This is like coffee.
This is nature's coffee.
Uh, uh, uh.
- That looks exhausting.
How is that coffee? (both laugh)
- Single people should not be allowed
out their homes on Valentine's Day.
Prove me wrong.
- I agree.
All the single people, the side pieces, sneaky links
and you know they going (beep) up the date.
I agree with this 100%.
Let the couples go out.
- I think you are better at this than I am.
So maybe you should sit here and take my job please.
- Oh, okay.
Single people should not be allowed
out of their homes on Valentine's Day.
Prove me wrong.
- It kind of feels like gate keeping.
Like you have to go out and...
- Get the (beep) outta here. (man laughs)
- Single people need to go out.
They're the ones who need to be out.
The couples should stay home.
The single people need to be the ones getting drunk.
- That's the dumbest idea ever heard in my life.
- How is that dumb?
- Valentine's Day is not for single losers.
- It's not losers.
Valentine's Day is a (beep) up thing by society.
- They're losers who couldn't find someone
on the most desperate day of the year.
- What are they supposed to do?
Go on a (beep) Hinge date or something on Valentine's Day?
- How much of a loser are you?
- They should be allowed out, 'cause they make it fun.
- Sorry, someone's pissing on the street in Brooklyn.
What a surprise. (woman laughs)
If you're single on Valentine's Day,
the government should send you money.
Prove me wrong.
- Single people, they have to take care of just themselves.
- Yeah, but it's a Valentine's Day thing.
People are sad on Valentine's Day.
Just send them some money.
- Money doesn't make you happy.
- Oh really? - [Lady With Scarf] No.
- If I gave you 20 bucks right now, would you be happy?
- No.
- Oh yeah, well fine.
I'll give you 50 bucks.
If I give 50 bucks, would you be happy?
(woman laughs)
- Aha, I got you, I got you.
- There's discounts for married people.
There's discounts for family.
What do single people get?
- Yeah, give us some money.
- Exactly.
- Some tax breaks at least.
We're the ones who need it.
- Exactly.
- We're the desperate, sad people who need that money.
- I wouldn't say desperate.
- Are you going out with someone on Valentine's Day?
- Maybe. - Do you really want this?
- It's cute.
Look at my nails, I want it.
It's a fun day.
- All right, fine, I'll prove to you it's the worst day.
Come on a date with me on Valentine's Day.
I will show you it's the worst day of the year.
- Sorry man, I can't.
I don't wanna go on Valentine's Day with you.
I wanna go on Valentine's Day with Trevor Noah.
Trevor, if you're watching this,
I wanted to let you know, I love you.
I enjoyed your show at Madison Square Garden
a couple of weeks ago.
You were hilarious and I know you like Indian food.
Come to Brooklyn.
I will take you out to a nice Indian restaurant
and show you around Brooklyn. Love you.
- Yep, Valentine's Day is the worst day of the year.
(beep) it.