Almost certainly some kids even though they haven't heard any news at all
will have picked up that there's something going on in the world.
Children look towards their parents to make sense of what's going on.
And adults who watch the news and consume the news will be recognising that there's
a significant event going on in the world.
And they will probably have overheard snippets and discussions as well, you know, think about
the chat at the school gates, for example, where parents might talk about world affairs,
quite rightly, but recognise what they may have overheard.
And make it your business to translate that. into terms that makes sense for your child,
and that perhaps allow them to feel reassured I would ask a child, what do you want to know,
as opposed to what are you worried about?
That's a very different question.
Because they may have all manner of questions from am I going to be safe?
Or is my school going to be closed?
Or what does the word sanction mean?
And you want to open up the question in a very, very open and unassuming way to see
what's on their mind.
But I would offer them a framework.
Absolutely.
And does that framework need to include the ending, that it's all going to be all right?
I would be very cautious about using that
phrase.
Because in times of uncertainty, it's never more important that your child has a strong
and secure relationship with you.
So you can be reassuring in lots of different ways without offering information that you
can't guarantee.
And that's not the same as saying this is you know, something that you need to be worried
about.
This is saying, look, this is this is a concerning issue.
But if you telegraph calm, actually in the way you go about your day to day life, the
way you talk about this, actually, that's more reassuring than using a phrase like it's
going to be alright.
And what about older children?
What about teenagers?
Because they're probably going to engage with things in a different way?
Yeah. And it's a really good question.
They are likely to want to find out information for themselves.
And they might look to peers for their information.
And we know that young people are going to use social media, that's not going to change.
We have got to teach our young people to critically evaluate the information.
They've got to learn to separate opinions from facts, and separate accurate information
from inaccurate information.
And adults need to be part of that process.
So if your teen comes and says, you know, I saw or heard something about a world
event, I saw on Tik Tok or another social media platform, you might be tempted
to school them.
But if you do that, they may not come back to you again, and you've lost your chance.
So I would advise showing some interest and looking at it together.
Show me what it is you saw, let's look at it together.
How interesting.
So teens love to get a sense of status.
So give them the feeling of you know that they've done a good thing bringing you some
information.
Let's look at it together and think through how you might fact check it because these
are lifelong skills that will help young people negotiate world where facts and opinions are
confused sometimes I think so the next time your child says well I heard it on Tik Tok, see
that as a chance as a parent. It's a chance to have an incredible conversation with your
kid.
And you can help them learn those critical evaluation skills.
It's a real opportunity.
And what's at stake here?
How might getting this messaging wrong affect your child's mental health?
I think the idea of being anxious about this
world event is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Doesn't mean you have an anxiety
disorder.
I think what's more likely to be the case day to day for children who tend to be on
the anxious side is that they may need a little bit of support and structure to think about
how to manage the questions and the worries that come into their head.
And one little tip, which is often something that I use in my clinical practice, is having
a regular check in time in family life.
And ask your child to record or write or even audio record, or draw their worries and their
questions and save them all up for the end of the day or whenever you're having your
check in time and sort through them, and it really brings to mind that brilliant quote
from the JoJo Rabbit film, who said no feeling is final.
And it's a very, very poignant expression.
But it's also very useful if we think about that, to teach young people who are on the
anxious side about how to hold on to these worries and think through them with a trusted
adults.
So it's a good well being habit that I would recommend whatever the circumstances.