Making new friends is one of the most challenging things for an introvert,
let alone an INFJ introvert.
When INFJs claim they have no friends, they don't necessarily imply they don't have any.
It usually signifies they don't have the one-of-a-kind, meaningful friendship they crave.
They may be friendly with a large number of people, but they do not necessarily consider
or identify them as friends.
INFJs for one, are great friends to keep by your side.
They usually give the best advice and are open-minded about things, but they struggle
to find people that actually get them.
So let’s explore 6 reasons why INFJs have no friends.
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The INFJ “door slam”
When an INFJ cuts someone out of their life, this is known as the INFJ door slam.
The INFJ personality type isn't the only one that cuts people out.
Other personality types do it to some degree as well, but INFJs do it more frequently
and intensely.
This is because INFJs value peace.
They rarely cut people out of their lives unless they are toxic or egotistical,
and they have reached their breaking point with them.
If you have a buddy who is an INFJ, you know how easygoing and forgiving they are.
Crossing their lines is quite difficult but once this happens, there is no going back.
They rarely open up their doors again and if they do, they become wary from then onwards.
This is one reason why they have no friends because it is already hard as it is to break
down their walls, or should we say “door”, and they don’t trust too easily.
It's a done deal when they make a decision that a friend isn't worth keeping around.
The door has been slammed shut.
Nothing will persuade them to change their minds.
They are chameleons in social situations
The Extraverted Feeling is how INFJs engage with the outside world.
This means they are extremely sensitive to other people's emotions and moods.
They "absorb" the emotions of others who surround them.
They will feel sad if they are among unhappy people.
They will experience the delight of others around them if they are with cheerful individuals.
They will sense other people's tension if they are in a stressful setting.
On one hand, this skill allows INFJs to connect with others and experience their suffering,
rejoice in their joys, and empathize strongly with them.
On the other side, it leaves them vulnerable to the ever-changing moods
of the people around them.
As a result, they may feel overwhelmed by other people's emotions while also feeling
lost and alone on their own.
They tend to isolate themselves thereafter, choosing not to engage with other people for
their own peace of mind.
Very few people understand them
The INFJ's intuitive thoughts are difficult to put into words in a definite, practical way.
INFJs have foresights or predictions about the future, which most people dismiss as "ridiculous"
or unfounded in fact.
Others may be perplexed by INFJs since they appear differently in various situations
and in front of multiple individuals.
Others may believe they know an INFJ well, yet what they understand or see is only a
small part of who they are.
For INFJs, their friends not being able to understand them can be exhausting.
To some people, introverted intuition of an INFJ is one of the most enigmatic and misunderstood
capabilities, with very few people comprehending it.
Which is why they would rather go solo than having to constantly explain themselves.
They vanish out of nowhere
INFJs may choose to withdraw for a period of time after spending too much time socializing.
They may even ignore phone calls, messages, emails, and other forms of communication.
during their vanishment.
What happens when an INFJ goes missing?
They can accidentally damage friendships they value.
Their relationships are often jeopardized.
Friends and family members may be insulted, and some friendships may be lost as a result.
People find it difficult to comprehend why someone who appeared to be friendly and empathetic
suddenly vanishes, leaves phone calls unanswered and refuses to communicate with them
for days, weeks, or even months.
INFJs value their relationships greatly, and when they return from their disappearance,
they may feel guilty and even more alone than before.
. They want long term friendships
INFJs don't want to waste time on flimsy connections that aren't going to lead anywhere.
As a result, INFJs are frequently misunderstood.
They require considerably more alone time to re energize, yet they still benefit from
the human energy of someone with whom they can have intelligent and intuitive conversations
or feel entirely at ease with even without talking.
They want someone who won’t leave their side even if they “vanish” for a while.
The problem is, not most people understand this.
They often feel neglected by an INFJ who doesn’t give them the attention
someone usually gives their friends.
So when an INFJ feels like the friendship isn’t going to last,
they won’t waste their time any longer.
But this doesn’t mean it isn’t a big deal to them.
INFJs can anticipate the loss of a friendship and are devastated by it.
They are too independent
The majority of INFJs are independent.
This is because of their perfectionism and high expectations.
And being independent is good because INFJs need to be independent to survive in the world
and support themselves physically as well as mentally while going through the journey
of life and facing its realities, which sometimes can be harsh to manage.
The problem is when they are too independent that they don’t see the need for human connections.
Despite the fact that they need it, they would not rely on their friends.
As a result, it's often a lonely journey that requires a great deal of sacrifice.
For example, instead of hanging out with their peers,
they choose to focus on their life goals instead.
Those sacrifices must be made on a regular basis, which may ultimately exclude friends
from the picture.
It's an intimidating world out there.
It can feel practically difficult to make a friendship naturally in a culture where
connections are made through unconventional means such as social media.
For INFJs, this can be a difficult way to reach out to people but when they find ones
who they vibe with, they can make excellent friends.
They are caring and giving individuals who will go to great lengths to ensure that those
they care about are taken care of.
INFJs may have very few friends, but that doesn't mean
they don't appreciate the ones they do have.