It’s a beautiful day.
The lupines are thriving, casting a delicate shade over the hills that meld with the soft
green of the sagebrush.
Here it smells like fresh mint and sweet florals - it’s distinct, a scent that always brings
me home to my self, reminding me of who I am.
I haven’t always considered myself a happy person, in fact I’d say since my teens I
struggled with constant ups and downs.
I didn’t realize that as I grew and matured things would get better, I thought I wasn’t
capable of finding balance and peace.
There was a reason for feeling this way, and as an adult I saw a doctor and got help for
my body and mind.
But I realized that once you finally heal the wounds of your foundation, you need to
rebuild.
That was the hard part.
I know I’ve said this before, that I have never found a magic solution to feeling unhappy
at times, no matter where you go it follows you.
It followed me here.
And this made me consider that maybe occasional melancholy is nothing fear.
In fact, it has a way of opening your soul, a rawness that can remind you of your beautiful
ability to feel, and how alive you truly are.
The first thing I had to accept about my life is that it will never be a consistent string
of joyous, blissful days.
There will always difficult times, though there are way to get support, if we can seek
the help we need.
A friend once told me that we are living memorials to what we have lost.
Loved ones, pets, our past selves.
For a long time I mourned for the loss of a little girl that was happy and believed
in a bright future.
I thought she had been lost In the process of growing up.
But I suppose it is our choice to let the past strengthen or oppress us, and there came
a day when I decided to reclaim the story of that little girl, and not let her stay
in past.
She was still there in my heart, and I could let her guide me to a place of quiet contentment.
Now, despite the bad days, that little girl comforts me and tells me everything will be
ok.
And with that a seed of happiness continues to grow, taking root and spreading throughout
my world.
Wishing you a day full of beauty, peace, and love.